Relationship Help: Relationship With Vet With Ptsd/alcholoism

[Sdgrneyesnm]

I love and live with a man who is an Iraqi War Veteran. He has been diagnosed with PTSD and he is an alcoholic. Volatile combination. I'm at a loss. I alone. Can't talk to anyone about it. His family is pretty much tired of it and really just doesn't care (except his mother - who is in my position), his friends don't really know the extent of it, my friends and family just say leave, you don't deserve this. The problem is - I love him. He just binges on vodka... can drink two fifths a day. I'm at a loss how to help him. He goes to the VA regularly, well, as regularly as they will see him. Does anyone know how I can cope with this without myself getting ill, going crazy, or start drinking myself. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[exhausted 81]

Go to therapy, never loose yourself in the relationship, and keep doing the things that make you happy. I unfortunately learned this too late and now I'm without the love of my life.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Unfortunately when dealing with PTSD (and even alcoholism), love isn't enough. If he won't get help, there's not much you can do for him. My advice is to take care of yourself.

 

[anthony]

Unfortunately, I agree with the above... at some point he has to make a decision, and that is to help himself. You cannot make him better, or his life... only he can do that. Your decision stops with whether you stick with him and wait, or not.

The alcohol is purely a coping mechanism, and he needs to replace it with something less hurtful to you, as you are the other half of the relationship. Relationships have tough times and only you can gauge accurately when enough is enough for you, and thus you give him al ultimatum and be resolved to follow through what you say, or you continue to put up with the drinking and abuse of drinking.

You could say it is a choice on both sides... one in pain and one suffering as a result of the others pain. The breaking point is simply for you to gauge and ascertain.