Help With Stopping The Anxiety

[Str3ngth]

I've been living with PTSD for almost 4 years now, and I feel like my struggle has had much more 'downs' the 'ups'. Right now my anxiety levels are edging back up to their highest point because of the nice weather, summer's coming and college students will be returning home.

And all of that means that the man who attacked me will be back which makes it hard for me to even go outside sometimes, just incase I might run into him somewhere in town.

Recently I started hanging out with this guy who makes me feel happy which is not common for me. He makes me feel safe when i'm with him (the only problem is that he lives 45 minutes away). But i'm struggling because I feel like I push him away sometimes. I have a lot of problems with intimacy and what I think is called sexual dysfunction.

It's hard for me to have a normal sexual encounter after what i've been through, or even talk about things like that. Does anyone else have problems with this? Its not that I don't want to be intimate with him, but sometimes I get intrusive thoughts or memories of the attack that make me withdraw and I know that not fair to him.

What do I do?

 

[TLight]

I'm going through this right now to.

I try to put myself into more of a 'feeling beautiful and wanting to be close' frame of mind. One that doesn't involve the actual act itself. Then I sort of pretend and I make my partner slow down and do a lot of just holding and touching........I mean a lot. I allow myself to either go 'there' or 'not.' And that's all OK. But it is hard.........because most times I do not want to go there...........it's sad and I don't know how to change it except not to force myself and just try to deal and communicate openingly. He takes care of himself with me sometimes and that's OK........

But yeah.......I hardly ever get really turned on anymore. I used to be overly sexual......now it's like I'm dead.

But I heard there are some good books out there........

I feel like an asexual being for the last few months........just don't even care about it. But I'm working with that the best I can I suppose.

 

[Lionheart]

Keep yourself safe is my only suggestion to stopping the anxiety. Let someone know where you are and where you will be. Don't go out alone if you can have someone be with you. Pepper spray might be an option and from a guys standpoint nothing hurts like a swift kick to the "nads"! Attackers beware!

To that I would add, be sexual only when you feel safe and the desire is mutual and then go as slow as you need to. Check out your new friends background and trust your instincts. You are stronger than you think, just use your head and allow the anxiety to pass. If the anxiety increases, ask yourself if there is a trauma reminder or if you are really in any danger. Remove yourself from questionable people and situations right away and don't beat yourself up for taking care of yourself! Hope this helps you.

Lewie

 

[Die Hard The Hunter]

I think the term is "sexual aversion disorder." It can be caused by abuse, or other dysfunction. Forcing yourself to get through it will probably just reinforce the aversion, especially if you're doing it for his sake.

Maybe it would be easier for you if you took all the initiative yourself? It might make you feel more in control and less like you're just submitting to someone else. And even if you don't enjoy it, you might feel proud of yourself afterward.

Like going to therapy, plus...something else. lol