Eleanor
Diamond Member
My husband has (we think) PTSD from childhood trauma. He says he is committed to getting into treatment for it BUT he won't lift a finger to DO anything about it. I believe that he wants to get help. And I am SOOO FRUSTRATED that he will go for weeks without making a simple phone call. I finally (after two months of reassurance that he would "make some calls") made calls to three therapists for him, and gave his number to call him back - he talked to one of them and has an appointment for Wed. HURRAH! I am worried that he will go and will "present well" to the therapist and minimize what is happening etc. I think he will do this because a) he comes from a family of very high functioning alcoholics and so is very good at convincing others that he is fine. and 2) because two years ago when he had severe gluten intolerance and was in AGONY and bleeding... he convinced our doctor that he was fine. Just flat out lied to the man. So I really really want too talk to the therapist too, I just want to make sure he STARTS with something like an accurate assessment. This is complicated by the fact that he wants to to Prolonged Exposure and do an intensive two week start to the thing (away from me and our daughter) - BUT won't do any of the leg work to try to set that up . He procrastinates, or maybe just gets immobilized so well.
I know I can't make him get better. I know I can't make him do therapy or any of that. But I am having a lot of trouble drawing the line between helping (I know making phone calls is hard for him - I do most of it in other areas of our life - I wouldn't except my experience is that they won't get made otherwise) and "enabling."
I probably sound like a total control freak here. Freaking is right. I am definately freaking. I am not generally much of a control monger tho. I guess it is that I am worried he will just kind of shear off getting help and then I will have to make some really really hard choices. That is making it hard to figure out what I should do, out of those things I can do.... Help!
I know I can't make him get better. I know I can't make him do therapy or any of that. But I am having a lot of trouble drawing the line between helping (I know making phone calls is hard for him - I do most of it in other areas of our life - I wouldn't except my experience is that they won't get made otherwise) and "enabling."
I probably sound like a total control freak here. Freaking is right. I am definately freaking. I am not generally much of a control monger tho. I guess it is that I am worried he will just kind of shear off getting help and then I will have to make some really really hard choices. That is making it hard to figure out what I should do, out of those things I can do.... Help!
