Greetings all,
My name is Matt and I was medically retired from the Army in March of last year, I served over 12 years and deployed 3 times. It's been about a year and a half since I left the Army and I miss being a Soldier more and more each day. A big part of my med board was PTSD due to things I saw/experienced on my second and third deployments. I've been getting more and more depressed as time goes on, more hopeless, and my interest in doing things has dropped to near zero. So I decided I need some more help, and since the VA has been utterly useless to me I thought maybe if I talked to others with similar problems, maybe, just maybe I could get myself out of this funk.
I am currently living in Colorado Springs, as I was retired from Fort Carson and I have no intention of leaving; it's beautiful here.
My history -
I joined in 2000, went to AIT at Fort Gordon for what was then 31R (later renamed to 25Q) and then went to Fort Bliss to do line of sight commo for the 31st ADA BDE 1-1 BN B Battery. I deployed once with that unit when we first when back into Iraq in '03, we stayed on the island of Bahrain the entire time.
In '05 I went back to Fort Gordon to re-class to 25B (IT guy) and then went to the 82nd Signal Company in the 82nd Airborne Division at Fort Bragg. I deployed with the 82nd before the time of the surge, was extended, and left after a 15 month deployment. I like many, didn't have an actual job for my MOS so I spent much of that deployment attached to an Infantry NG unit from Minnesota, doing patrols, security, route clearance, etc.
After Bragg I went to Fort Carson, in around 08' (my memory on certain dates is toast) and was put in the S-6 of the 10 CSH and then deployed with that hospital first to the Baghdad Hospital in the Green Zone and then moved to Baghdad Hospital to Sather AB. After that deployment I spent some time as a Squad Leader for the Fort Carson WTU and then later became a patient in the same WTU.
On my third deployment I blew out my back (my own stupidity) which forced the start of the med board, my PTSD wan't diagnosed until I was actually in the med board. I didn't want anyone to know about it, I wanted to stay in the Army, I fought the board for almost 3 years before I was finally retired. Most of my PTSD comes from events I saw/experienced on my second and third deployments.
Before my med board I was seeing a wonderful therapist, with her help, a lot of EMDR, and a service dog I was doing a lot better. I could stand being outside the house, I could deal with crowds (depending on the size), and I was beginning to sleep without meds. After the Army, Tricare cut me off (can't afford the co-pays) and the VA won't let me see the same therapist...or any useful help for that matter. Now without the same help as before I feel I am gong back to the way I was before, and maybe worsening.
I just had my PTSD re-eval last week, I'm already 90% service connected, I don't want the 100%, I don't want to be disabled at all, I want to still be able to work (going to college full-time at the moment), I'm only 32, I don't want to be useless anymore. I want to go back and help people. Helping people is what I did in the Army and I can't find a way help people anymore...not in the same way.
Hell, I can't even help myself anymore.
My name is Matt and I was medically retired from the Army in March of last year, I served over 12 years and deployed 3 times. It's been about a year and a half since I left the Army and I miss being a Soldier more and more each day. A big part of my med board was PTSD due to things I saw/experienced on my second and third deployments. I've been getting more and more depressed as time goes on, more hopeless, and my interest in doing things has dropped to near zero. So I decided I need some more help, and since the VA has been utterly useless to me I thought maybe if I talked to others with similar problems, maybe, just maybe I could get myself out of this funk.
I am currently living in Colorado Springs, as I was retired from Fort Carson and I have no intention of leaving; it's beautiful here.
My history -
I joined in 2000, went to AIT at Fort Gordon for what was then 31R (later renamed to 25Q) and then went to Fort Bliss to do line of sight commo for the 31st ADA BDE 1-1 BN B Battery. I deployed once with that unit when we first when back into Iraq in '03, we stayed on the island of Bahrain the entire time.
In '05 I went back to Fort Gordon to re-class to 25B (IT guy) and then went to the 82nd Signal Company in the 82nd Airborne Division at Fort Bragg. I deployed with the 82nd before the time of the surge, was extended, and left after a 15 month deployment. I like many, didn't have an actual job for my MOS so I spent much of that deployment attached to an Infantry NG unit from Minnesota, doing patrols, security, route clearance, etc.
After Bragg I went to Fort Carson, in around 08' (my memory on certain dates is toast) and was put in the S-6 of the 10 CSH and then deployed with that hospital first to the Baghdad Hospital in the Green Zone and then moved to Baghdad Hospital to Sather AB. After that deployment I spent some time as a Squad Leader for the Fort Carson WTU and then later became a patient in the same WTU.
On my third deployment I blew out my back (my own stupidity) which forced the start of the med board, my PTSD wan't diagnosed until I was actually in the med board. I didn't want anyone to know about it, I wanted to stay in the Army, I fought the board for almost 3 years before I was finally retired. Most of my PTSD comes from events I saw/experienced on my second and third deployments.
Before my med board I was seeing a wonderful therapist, with her help, a lot of EMDR, and a service dog I was doing a lot better. I could stand being outside the house, I could deal with crowds (depending on the size), and I was beginning to sleep without meds. After the Army, Tricare cut me off (can't afford the co-pays) and the VA won't let me see the same therapist...or any useful help for that matter. Now without the same help as before I feel I am gong back to the way I was before, and maybe worsening.
I just had my PTSD re-eval last week, I'm already 90% service connected, I don't want the 100%, I don't want to be disabled at all, I want to still be able to work (going to college full-time at the moment), I'm only 32, I don't want to be useless anymore. I want to go back and help people. Helping people is what I did in the Army and I can't find a way help people anymore...not in the same way.
Hell, I can't even help myself anymore.
