Hi - Been Told I Have PTSD From Losing A Loved One From Horrific Terminal Illness

[buttons]

Hello all,

I have been told I have post traumatic stress. Just over a year ago I lost someone extremly close to me through a terminal illness, unfortunatly it turned out to be a very nasty end not peaceful at all. I wanted to be by her side at the end and I was but in a way those last hours haunt me.

I am now being treated with antideppressants (just started them) and I have declined counselling as talking about the illness etc makes my anxiety far worse. The dr agrees with this desicion.

I was wondering if anyone can relate to this huge anxiety/fear I have? Here I go.
I am terrified of anyone I love passing away or being taken away from my life, I fear for my own life, I wake everyday feeling that today could be the day I die, I could have a terrible accident etc. I think of all the awful things that could happen to my life and those I love. I just feel that impending disaster is about to strick at any moment.

I never used to worry so much. I never used to have such morbid thoughts but I don't seem to be able to put them out of my mind.

If any of you can relate I would like to hear from you as I feel so alone with this right now.

 

[cat]

Welcome to the forum, Buttons

I've just read your post regarding removing this thread. Please don't think you are being ignored, there will always be someone who can relate to your type of trauma here, sometmes its not easy to read a post all at once & we need time to think about how to reply. When it comes down to it trauma is trauma whatever caused it so we all understand what you are going through.
Being diagnosed is a shock in itself, so please give your self time to come to terms with that. The symptoms you are experiencing are a perfectly normal reaction to an abnormal event.

Just know for now that there is plenty of information & help here to support you on your way to recovery, which will come but takes times & a whole lot of patience.

When you are ready for therapy try to see a PTSD specialist, they will teach you ways to access what you have been through without feeling overwhelmed by your anxiety. I can well relate to your anxiety & fear, it is incredibly frightening. I year ago I could hardly leave my house without feeling overwhelming fear of everyone I saw, expecting someone to attack me at any moment, including my family. Then I started meds & therapy & I feel so different now, I am well on my way to recovery.
Take care, stay strong & keep talking here, it really will help.
Annette

 

[gdf]

Welcome. Sometimes things change us. There are lots of people here who can relate as you reveal more in your own time.

Gina

 

[Tessa]

Hello Buttons,

I am sorry you are suffering so much right now. I can understand.I am a nurse and have seen many people suffer from terminal illness. It can be very distressing. I like to try and remind people that the soul which made this person beautiful cannot be killed. Our bodies let us down when we are ill. Sometimes I think the soul becomes trapped in a very sick body and longs for release.

It is not uncommon to feel very frightened and fear for others around you after this experience. Be gentle with yourself and,with time and support,these feelings should lessen.

Hugs
Tessa

 

[suzie q]

Welcome Buttons....

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss...you are so brave to have been there in the end to comfort her. You must have loved her very much to have been so strong. Now, you have to be strong again and deal with the trauma it's left behind.

I can really relate to the anxiety/worrying that happens after losing someone close. It seems that you question all the things that mean something to you and have great fear in not having any control in what "could" happen. You begin to feel such loss and panic. I think this is very normal and can be the beginning of your grieving process. We all have to go through that process and each person goes through it differently. I know you have heard that many times, but I just wanted to remind you that you are where you are supposed to be and things will get better with time.

I hope this forum will give you the freedom to talk about how you are feeling and allow some of us to help you past this trying time. This is just the place to find others that have experienced your pain and have come out the other side with some sense of peace. You are not alone.

Hope to hear more from you later on the forum...
suzie q