Undiagnosed Hi. I Need Some Help... Unsure Whats Happening To Me.

[scared and confused]

Blitzer, I'm sorry but my questions are difficult for me to put into words. Does anyone feel a "pull"? Like I'm being pulled into a flashback and I can sort of, if I'm strong enough, pull myself out of it before anything happens? Is anyone familiar with this pull?

I can't find a trigger? Smells and sounds and songs and other things are sending me into these dreams, flashbacks. I feel as those if I let it take over. I would be in a flashback all day. Is this same for others?

 

[scared and confused]

Also besides this happening to me I was in a really good state of mind and emotionally things had been going real well for around 12 months..This just came outta the blue totally..Why?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi and welcome:)
I am so sad this is happening. I think you will be alright. No one dies from a flashback but they sure are difficult to face and deal with. I am sure there is alot of help and support for you here. It takes time to find your way around. Keep coming back and keep on talking about it. That really helps.

I am glad you are going to see someone. That if it is a good match will really help you. You are on your way to all sorts os self discovery. Good luck.

 

[mamachick]

Welcome to the forum. I am glad you will be seeing a doctor for diagnosis soon. I think you will find much information and support here.

People describe their flashbacks here and I have found them to be very different for different people. Because of that, I try not to assume I know what someone else is stating when they use that term.

After being diagnosed with ptsd, I realized that I had been having flashbacks. I could easily connect the feeling with an incident of assault. It was panic, out of control, loss, hopelessness, sinking, invisible, not mattering, extreme need to escape, escape was key, overwhelming etc. Because of what had happened to me, the flashbacks began almost immediately. I knew the connection. It was obvious.

I began paying better attention to my feelings and discovered that likely I have been having flashbacks for years, much more suble. Not connected to such a traumatic event but likely connected to neglect and verbal abuse. From that, I have learned that I do have some control. I have a choice to change the situation that is a trigger or to ground myself and take a minute to respond assertively.

 

[scared and confused]

Ohhh wow brat, years, gee even TV triggers me, ads, music, people. I've had a flashback while driving once and I was lucky I pulled over. I have issues that are stopping me get help except for anonymous here on the net. At the moment.

 

[bitzer]

I realized that I had been having flashbacks ...

That's how it started for me. I was having implicit flashbacks (no explicit memory) and night terrors, and not acknowledging that they were happening.

... out of control, loss, hopelessness, escape was key, overwhelming etc.

I recognise those. It's like you know you do NOT want it to happen, and yet the need to let it take over is stronger; like you get something out of "it" being in control.

I began paying better attention to my feelings and discovered that likely I have been having flashbacks for years

Acknowledging that they were happening and then owning that all the separate bits of it were parts of me was key. I had to own up to a lot of shame, guilt and blame.

... to ground myself ...

Grounding and mindfulness helped a lot.

 

[bitzer]

... emotionally things had been going real well for around 12 months..This just came outta the blue totally..Why?

Are these linked? For me "things going well" often means I get bored and so I create a bit of drama to liven things up.

 

[bitzer]

... I'm strong enough, [I'll] pull myself out of it before anything happens?

The old "If I was strong enough" rationale. I can so hear my parents saying that! Accept yourself for who you are right here and right now. Sure, you want to make changes. But the first step is acceptance. And to do that you need to challenge your internal critical parent.