Hi

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hello everyone...

I am new here. I have been on the PTSD forum for a number of months, but have been away lately because I have been doing a support group for SA survivors, among other things. But it is taking a lot of my energy to deal with it. I guess that is why I joined here, finally. I wasn't ready before. I just needed somewhere to go where other people will understand.

The group I have been going to has caused me to come to several insights and revelations that I had never had before about the effect of SA on my life. So I am struggling to deal with that, right now. It makes me feel totally screwed up. And I don't even know how to "fix" it.

I have had repeated incidents of SA in my teen years and a SA relationship at age 20, with a 40 year old man who basically was a sexual predator. He is also the biological father of my daughter.

I had some more minor incidents with family members and a teacher, which are harder for me to characterize as SA but I guess they weren't appropriate either. I guess they might be covert sexual abuse, but I am not sure. It is hard to really feel like those are valid experiences, because they are not as bad as the others and I am not even sure if they were abusive even though I know they had an impact on me (if less so, than the others, mostly). It's kind of like a feeling of something being wrong but wondering if what I am perceiving is really there.

Thanks for reading :)

Phoenix_Rising

 

[rainbow1]

Hi Phoenix_Rising :wave:. Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[Lucycat]

Hi Phoenix,

Welcome to 'our special part' of the forum!

It it felt wrong then it probably was wrong. It is great that you are involved with a support group, but on the other hand - as with on here- it can sometimes feel like everybody else's experiences are worse than your own. But the fact is, if it had an impact on you, and your life then it is certainly worth dealing with. I expect you already know that!

I don't think there is any 'fix'. I wish there were. IMHO it is all about accepting the past - cos you can't change it - and moving forward in positive baby steps.

I'd love to hear more about how your group works, if you feel able to share any more about it.

Regards
Lucy x

 

[MedicAsh]

Hello and Welcome.

 

[Phoenix_Rising]

This is my first time on here since my first post. I want to say thank you to all of you who have been made me feel welcome... And that it is a safe place to talk here, since it is so hard to talk to anyone about this.