Hi

[Jimmy1]

Mate, the problem with the VA is that it is not the military, it's a government owned medical insurance company.

They can diagnose you with PTSD alright, but you have to prove that you got it from service, that be the hard part as most veterans don't keep a running commentary in any diary, it would not be allowed anyway.
Most serious incidents are recorded somewhere, it's just a matter of finding them.

 

[PureangerPurecalm]

i was saying the military because I am still active, terrified to even think about all of the problems I will have with VA.

 

[Don1]

I too watched the DMZ, just over the skies. I know just how you feel on that aspect. Its been 20 years and i still wake (heart racing, scared shitless) up to "cocked pistol" our code for full alert. Knowing that north korea has a full scale training model of Osan Airbase. Watching those f*ckers break limits and get tagged hostile. Linking up the launchers for active fire. I wish I could tell you how to make it stop but I have no clue.

 

[steve1]

Welcome Pure, Lots of good info on here. VA's, no matter what country, can be mindless bureaucracies at times. I fought with Canadian VA for years & actually got to the point were I threw all correspondance from them into the garbage. Things are better now, calmer. Meds have helped. But they can be a rollercoaster too. This site is full of non-judgemental people who have walked in your shoes. Don't be afraid to ask for advice.

 

[PureangerPurecalm]

The pysch said I have a dr. jeckyl and mr. hyde personality. I was at a loss for words.

 

[BaMuoiBa]

When my anger takes over I don't want to do those things I just can't control it.

Pure, well neither could I. Once the "beast" is out of the bottle all there is left is to read the reviews the next day.

The pysch said I have a dr. jeckyl and mr. hyde personality. I was at a loss for words.

When I still had a few my friends left they used to describe me the same way. The anger would build and before I knew it I'd start drinking and that was the last thing I'd recall. The rage would end in the usual manner either in the hospital with injuries or in jail.

The 'beast" manifests it's self in many forms, in my case booze would be the catalyst for all things that would follow. In the end I didn't know which was worse. I traded the insanity of self medicating for the full brunt force of the "beast" sober. That was about 20 years before I had even a hint what the true root source of the problem. The good news was that the drunks that help me get sober had similar anger issues and shared with me the tools of the trade. Even though I had to fight the anger, fear and isolation alone it was still better than it was with booze. I really did not appreciate what I learned in recovery until I was diagnosed with PTSD some 4 years ago - the coping skills are very similar.

You may be "at a loss for words" and that may be a good thing. I was never told by a shrink that I was a Dr. J / Mr. H. In the end I could walk into a joint and take a seat at the bar and have the guy next to me move two stools away. Again, I was the last to know.

I don't feel that the rage that lay's beneath the surface will ever leave me but as long as I can understand the triggers I have a shot at it. Once you find out what the "beast " feeds on you may not starve it to death but you can put it on a serious diet. Good Luck!

Ba

 

[Jimmy1]

My wife has watched me too. She can almost see me changing too and see it take control. When we talk about managing PTSD, it's about learning how to walk away and not let the beast manifest. Sometimes however; it just can't be helped.

 

[PureangerPurecalm]

UPDATE: I have now been told I have RA, Multi-joint Gout, PTSD, high cholesterol, chronic fatigue, and possible sleep apnea. It just gets better and better.

 

[BaMuoiBa]

Pure, try not project what's coming down the pike is all negative.

It just gets better and better

The list that you posted may seem unsurmountable but there is nothing there that is NOT treatable. The good news is that you now have information you lacked before and now can address each one in order of priority with your physician.

Your moving in the right direction be you own advocate ask questions and engage in the solutions. Good luck!

Ba

 

[PureangerPurecalm]

I wasn't being entirely negative just saying seems like more and more issues every-time i go to the Dr.

 

[Spock]

Stay safe, stay strong Pure...baby steps

 

[PureangerPurecalm]

well finished with my third pysch, finally did a 10 page packet covering if I do PTSD even though 2/2 pyschs have said I do. I am now waiting on a phone call so they can tell me the severity of it.