Good morning Doc,
I can only assume you live in the USA. We have people on here from all over the world so it's really hard to work it out sometimes.
Only from being on here for over four years I can see you were in Infantry. Kirkuk, Mosul, and Tikrit were shitty places to be at the best of times.
Have a read of the following posts mate they might help you out a bit, and get your wife to have a read too.
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Also both of you should watch this video, it's based around Vietnam Vets, but PTSD related to combat is the same no matter what conflict you fight in.
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There is a reason why we show so much anger to our loved ones, well it's my belief anyway, it's because we think they love us unconditionally and won't go away. That is why a lot of veterans with PTSD lay the hurt on their wives, kids, parents and siblings.
But this is flawed. All we do is push them further and further away.
Why are we so angry. Well, we are not really angry at them, we are more frustrated, you see the military built you up to be an infantryman and kill people. Everything was black or white, it was uniform, you adhered to timings and there were strict SOP's to 'Survive' by. When you get home you have usually lost quite a few mates which you still have not dealt with because people in the military are not allowed to show emotion, that is a sign of weakness, 'Anger' is fine though.
So they send you home to a society where it is not Black and White, there are so many Grey areas and people don't stick to timings or have procedures, how are you meant to function.
It's not your wife's fault mate, you are not the person that went away, you have changed. She has to learn to live with you and 'The Beast'.
The best thing you can do is go to the shrinks and therapists and learn how to deal with it. It's a long hard road, but nothing good in life is for free or is easy.
It does get better though and you are not alone.
We are here to support you.
Jimmy
