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whips

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OIF vet, I was in country from march 03 to july 05, ets 25aug2005 divorced 15nov2005 now im a hermit, have a girlfriend that lives with me and she has issues now from dealing with me, im 100% comp and pen, however cant seem to bring myself to return to the va for treatment. I went through the b.a.s.e. program, it did wonders, however a year later i went through cpt and things got much worse. i cannot deal with people, it used to be i could only deal with other vets, however in the years since i got out, the worst offenses created were by vet friends who have visited me. this left me trusting no one, i still am very distrustful, and still dont like anyone, i dont have very many friends, and the three i have im convinced are only around because they're expecting some sort of hand out. I am bitter, angry, intolerant of anything i disagree with, and i need help. it has been effecting those around me for too long. I dont feel comfortable with the va, or a face to face counselor but this might work.
 
Welcome to the family Malignant.

Accepting you have a problem is a big step in the right direction, and it is a bumpoy and shity road once you take that first step. But it is a road you have to travel. No lifts, no busses, taxi`s just you and shanks`s pony.

Getting better and learning to live with the beast is a matter of, what you put in you get out. Yeah some days it taste like a shit pie, but it doesn`t kill you.

A lot of the US guys on here have very little that is good to say on the VA, but if you don`t go and stand your ground, and demand the treatment you are owed, you will not get help. The forum here is a help, but not a cure. You still need to take a big bite out of the shit pie at the VA or at least private if you can afford it and talk to people.

The VA may be a pain in the arse, but to give it a little perspective, Not everybody has that option in there country. Us Brits don`t even get close to anything VA, Being a Brit in Germany I only get the national Health system and that is it.


As for what your feeling, welcome to the club brother. You can change those feelings and how you react, but you need to get help to do it.

Don`t get me wrong, you are more than welcome here. But don`t expect the forum to be the cure because it isn`t. This place will not only help you, it will also drag you down. That is the problem with selfmedication.

Nonethe less, grab a chair and rest your bones. Post as you can, read as you must and rant as you need.
 
Hey Brother. Welcome to the club.

We all have the beast here. And you know you have a hell of a task ahead to tame that beast. You have just won half the battle. Nicely done!

Take a read around here and you will find all of us are on the same boat. I generally hang out in the sewage treatment area, but once in awhile I go up on deck and catch some fresh air and sunshine. That takes learnin'. The great thing is I found mates here that helped me find the way. And you will do the same.

Sorry for the boat analogy. I'm a squid...mind, body and soul.

Peace

Wagon
 
Hey Malignant

Welcome to the forums. Glad you've found us and glad you made it back.

The VA is a tough fight always, but they have the programs to help us. It's not a help to say that I feel as you do about them, but every vets that has to deal with them does. Stay the course. You've come to a good and safe place, Welcome aboard.

JarHed
 
Hello mate. Read your stuff about the shit you've had off 'comrades'.
Don't despair. There are decent people around, especially on this site as you have already seen. Glad your girl is sticking with you, mine did with me and it is very important, I'm sure you've said thankyou to her.
The feelings you have are standard issue. And they can be brought under control. Stick around and read and talk.
Ned.
 
Welcome to the padded room. As you will see, I am very combative when dealing with the government...

It is imperative that you FIGHT THE VA THE BEST YOU CAN. The nation OWES you the care you earned by your service and sacrifice. There are some good people at the VA, but there are also some disreputable, bureaucratic slime-balls who think that gaining budgetary savings by way of scrimping on veterans' benefits is a good way to advance their careers.

Check the web and your phone book for your US Representative and Senators. Start your dealings with the VA. Keep a VA services notebook containing: what happened, with whom it happened and where/when it happened. If you are unhappy with the VA's dealings with you, complain via e-mail to your Senators and US Representative. Give them the specifics you recorded in your notebook. They will light a fire under your local VA's corporate ass and you will get the treatment and benefits the nation owes you.

It is a fight, it isn't easy, but it is the rest of your life that is at stake.

You won't like this next phrase but I speak from experience (a situation almost identical your description, and yes, I was an ARMY lifer):

Even if this gets you enraged -- In your dealings with the VA, HARDEN THE f*ck UP and fight just as hard as did in combat. Use your rage as a tool -- once more into the breech, buddy!

Don't give up on yourself and don't ever let those paper-pushing VA management bastards separate you from your benefits and medical treatment. Never take the VA's standard "NO" as an answer to your request for help.

It is a very difficult fight, but this hard won victory will FEEL GREAT. You will have slain another corporate dragon.

You can do it.
You are a combat survivor.
You only need to win this one last battle.
You are SPECIAL.
 
Don't give up on yourself and don't ever let those paper-pushing VA management bastards separate you from your benefits and medical treatment. Never take the VA's standard "NO" as an answer to your request for help.

Tim thanks.. I needed to hear that in those exact words...

Malignant,

I have been AFK here for a bit getting my head straight but some words of advice... contact a service organization.. VFW/DAV/American Legion etc... they will help you and no you dont have to join them... Tim's advice was spot on.. keep a record.... list appointments.. what happened.. list how long it took you to get seen..

Speaking from just my experience I spiralled about 1991... the Navy docs said I was depressed... no help..

Got out and omg.. 2 DWI's and a UCW later the VA had a group, went to the shrinks and that's when they started to treating me for what I needed.. PTSD.. somehow I felt a little better so just dropped off the radar a bit.. next thing you know I got the red and blue lights in my rear view mirror.

Been goin over a yr now... sometimes it helps.. sometimes it does nothing but its keeping me outta those same self destructive behaviors for the most part..

Vet Service centers are a good bet... for combat vets only..

you can see if you have one near you here...

Link Removed

Good luck man... one thing you will learn is you arent alone here...
 
I am enraged, and rightly so. Many of the young people formerly under my command have combat PTSD and are homeless. Under the auspices of budget-cutting and deficit savings, many managers at the VA are now following the practice of "benefits rationing". We were asked to write a "blank check" for our country, and when it comes time for the country to pay us back, some VA managers (not the care-givers) are egregiously restricting the services available to combat veterans.

So fellow vets - HARDEN THE f*ck UP, PUT ON YOUR BATTLE FACE and fight the VA skinflints with all the determination and courage you exhibited on the battlefield. Make the VA's management bum-f*cks feel some political pain... Get your U.S. Representative and Senators to make their lives a "walking hell"....
 
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