Holding Out Until Therapy Starts

[Mallaky]

Hello

I wanted to ask the experienced sufferer (lol) for some insight concerning surviving until therapy starts. I have severe PTSD from 20 years of abuse and neglect, deaths and bullying. Since I realized I had PTSD I am not coping so well, (not that I have done much better before) I feel so dimished and hurt by it and have a hard time with accepting it. I live much more in my head and in the past because I cant get it out of my head. I have suicidal thoughts from time to time, but would never do it, as my brother did it before me and I witnessed the senselessness of the act first hand.

For stupid reasons, to boring and long to go into here, it will take a long time for me until therapy starts. Probably months or more.

What do you think would be healthy things to focus on? One month ago I started doing excercise and focus my energy on that. I do not have alot of energy and live in isolation. The excercise I do at home, 3 times a week. It was fun to learn about it and put it into action. I already feel like I am making much progress and feel better about myself and in mysself. It is fun and fulfilling, things that are in short supply for me.
Before I started I was either sitting or sleeping for months and months at a time.
I have a boyfriend who helps me alot, so I am isolated but not alone.

I also force myself to learn about PTSD, which is hard for me and makes me very sad, and take part in social things online, like this forum and multiplayer games. Feels like a good first step in "resocialising". I also try to live healthy and stopped smoking, and reduced my alcohol intake alot.

I have an appointment with a social worker in a few weeks.

Do you think I am going about this smartly? Thanks for reading and any input much appreciated.
I do not feel like living right now, just surviving. Help is on its way, I think, just a little bit longer...

 

[Deleted member 28942]

@Mallaky you seem to be doing very well considering your situation. Exercise is definitely useful and lower alcohol and smoking too. Another thing that can help you is to focus on healthy food if you are not already into it. You can start little by little. For example, drinking plenty of water each day is a good start. Starting your day with a healthy breakfast is another. If you feel overwhelmed reading about PTSD you can lay off the reading for a while. I read a lot too and sometimes I make matters worse because I worry too much. As an alternative, you can watch TV shows, or inspirational movies or documentaries, or inspirational people like Oprah Winfrey, Maya Angelou, etc.

 

[City Slicker]

You are doing really well and it sounds like you are going about your preparation in a very supportive manner. Help is not just on the way, it's there now, right there with you in all the changes you are making, in the things you are doing to keep a good outlook. More help is on the way. Best wishes.

 

[camabelu]

@Mallaky You are really impressive and doing a great job at centering yourself from the sound of it. I hope you give yourself credit for that. If you don't, do.

There is something called "Binaural Beats". If you go to YouTube you'll find plenty to choose from to help with just about anything you're feeling that you want relief from - anxiety is one good example. I won't go into a lot of detail about how it works except to tell you that it's brainwave entrainment, it's not a placebo but has peer-reviewed science and brain scans to support its validity, and it's safe. You do need headphones or earbuds.

As silly as this may sound, the other thing I'd say is that when bad thoughts feel like they're ganging up on you, force yourself (if you have to) to just sit down and breathe. Slowly, in through the nose and out through the mouth. Place your attention on your breathing and, when your thoughts wander (as they will), don't beat up on yourself for it; just place your attention back on your breath. I know it sounds almost too simple to be helpful but it does work. We can only focus on one thing at a time. It usually takes a few minutes before you begin to feel relief but stick with it. And remind yourself that everything passes. Every mood - even the worst ones - pass.
I'm sending you all my very best wishes.

 

[Mallaky]

Thank you all so much!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I think that you are doing exeptionaly weell in your preparation. It has become more of a journey for me and each day is so different than the other. I am very proud of you for having the bravery and courage to post what you are doing. i wish you the very best in your healing and recovery journey.

 

[Chava]

I'm not very social at all, but feeling connected to the rest of the world in some way is so important. I went many years without therapy. It really helped me that I had an AA group (I was a really crazy horrid alcoholic). Are there any support groups in your area that fit for you? Or clubs or other meet-ups?

Exercise is really great. Music and artwork and other hobbies are helpful to me too....having "distractions" that also feel really fulfilling and interesting.