Sufferer Hopeless

[ConcreteAngel]

Hi. I was just recently diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety. I believe I have had PTSD since I was 5 years old, showing symptoms but not knowing what it was. I've been through 4 very traumatic events in my life, and have yet to deal with a single one. I cannot get myself to talk to a therapist yet. I have tried but freeze up and curl into a ball. I panic, I run. Literally out there door. I feel hopeless as I need help but I can't get it. I feel like I'm reaching out but my mind and body react in ways I cannot control. I don't know how to deal with this or talk to people about it :(

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Welcome to the forums!

I cannot get myself to talk to a therapist yet. I have tried but freeze up and curl into a ball. I panic, I run. Literally out there door. I feel hopeless as I need help but I can't get it. I feel like I'm reaching out but my mind and body react in ways I cannot control. I don't know how to deal with this or talk to people about it :(

You are not hopeless! It took me going to my therapist every single week for a year to tell him why i was really there and needed the help of a famous tv Dr just to do that! So totally not hopeless!

After 7 yrs i go automatically numb still in therapy and i think thats where the site comes in SO very handy. Its here when my defenses are down to write stuff and then when im in therapy i read it to him and it gets the much needed therapy work moving.

You can do this! I believe in you! :hug:

 

[Heather]

I can relate to what you are saying. Growing up I knew there was something "wrong" with me but didn't know why I felt the way I did about myself.

It took years to begin to address what happened to me as a child. I feel for what you are going through. Be patient with yourself and go at your own pace. You will get there. It takes courage to face the past and I believe you have what it takes to do it.

Coming here is a great step. You will find a wealth of support, love and encouragement. Post as you feel comfortable with and am sure you will see what I am talking about.

Take care.

Heather

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Be patient with yourself and go at your own pace.

I like that a millon times over! Thats the only way to get through it all in my opinion!

 

[hodge]

You are on your way, ConcreteAngel. It often takes time for us to get to the point where we can start to deal with things. You've come on here, which is a big step. You are on your way. It took me four years from when I started having symptoms to getting my butt to therapy, which was when I was diagnosed with PTSD. I wish I had gotten there sooner, but I guess I was in denial. In any case, I got there, and you will, too. I've been through 10 traumatic things in my life. Be patient with yourself, but do get to therapy. :hug:s

 

[Friday]

Talking is something I suck at.

So I practice.

I still suck at it, but I'm learning.

Welcome to the forums. :)

 

[MCCS]

Perhaps it would help you if you write down on paper what you want to express with a therapist and hand them the piece of paper? It might be possible to request on the piece of paper for them to write back to you as well until you are able to cope with listening to them. Eventually you will be able to verbally communicate what you need to with them, in time though. Most of us have used coping strategies like you have described and everyone on here is at different points varying from not being diagnosed with PTSD to decades of healing under their belt. Welcome to the forums, you are not alone.

 

[Anarchy]

Welcome to the Forum!

 

[shimmerz]

Love your name. Great song. Welcome....

 

[Chava]

Sometimes I write or send an e-mail telling my therapist about something I want to talk about. But I'm doing Somatic Experiencing (body, not talk-focused). Just talking about your trauma isn't really healing anyway. A huge piece is the regulation. So if you can't talk, are you working on what you can do to feel more grounded, and maybe like you could talk a little? It helps me to sit on the floor in therapy. Sometimes I bring something to hold onto also, like a stuffed animal. Do you feel pressure to talk coming from your therapist, or is it coming from yourself? There should be no rush, but hopefully your therapist is helping you slowly work on grounding and other resources that will help you work through the trauma as you are ready.

If feeling mute or dissociated almost all the time, bring a note asking if your therapist can help you with that. There are ways to re-ground and as you feel safer, talking a little more will also be a little easier.

Welcome!

 

[intothelight]

@ConcreteAngel Welcome! :)

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Welcome to the forums!

Sharing about stuff is hard, I haven't told my theraphist about some serious matters yet, and I've been with him for 3 years...

I hope this place helps you, you aren't hopeless :)

Hugs :hug: