Hoping To Feel Connected. Hi.

[Pakadlangitok]

Feeling quite sad today. I have had PTSD a long time from many things. Today I just feel so sad and empty and alone. I have stopped faking. I am publically aching because I cannot NOT do it anymore.
I just hope to feel connected to someone out there. You guys know how it feels, like your soul is dropping out of your stomach. I often get that, like something is falling out of me. When it happens, it is like a sea of water.
It is not all bad, it is letting go of who I was or who I am . Who are we anyway? Studies show we only think we are a fixed entity. Those of us with PTSD know we are not. So I craft a new me and a fake me.....then it all rushes out.
And now, in public even i can't hold it back. No one cares, I know. But I am on the edge again.
Just reaching out.

 

[Riot]

:hug: if you accept 'em.

 

[hodge]

We care, Pakadlangitok. I know exactly what you're talking about as I've done it, too. This is the place for us to be ourselves. Welcome :hug:s

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Today I just feel so sad and empty and alone.

Just before I came onto the forum to do a quick check before I rush off to get ready for the day, this overwhelming feeling of loneliness washed over me. I felt so utterly alone and that made me so sad.

Then, I came on the forum and yours was the first post I saw. And I read your line and I thought- there's the connection. I needed to know I wasn't the only one feeling that way and perhaps you did, too. There was a connection just by reading your words. Thank you for posting today.

Over the last couple of years, I have had to drop some very important things from my life because I just CANNOT fake it in these situations any more. I have to be free to the broken me when I need to be and the rising up from the ashes me when I can. I am not a fixed entity and I see myself many ways. But the hardest thing to figure out is how am I supposed to maneuver my way through this world.

"No one" might not care, but I care. So know that eve if "no one" out there cares, someone right here does care.

 

[Changing4Best]

I too have felt a lot of distantness this morning. I have been through a really emotional week, one in which I have faced partial rejection, one in which I have had to ask for support, one in which I sometimes have felt very unsure of myself and whether I should go ahead and face the rejection and fight it, or whether I should give up and just let it be, without trying to fight it.

I did not sleep well last night. I awoke at 2AM, getting maybe 6 hours of sleep, but probably less, and not good sleep at that. I feel like my head is half empty and how can I go on facing my day in this condition. Should I call off my day and just languish at home in self pity, or should I try to make a go of it out there in my half me condition? I honestly don't know, but I am going to have another cup of coffee and give it a try. That is all I can do!

As for you, know that you are not alone. We care. Enjoy your stay with us here on this Forum. Someone will always be here for you. Either on the Forums or in chat. Take advantage of the kindred spirits here and heal.

And welcome, by the way!

 

[Pakadlangitok]

Wow! I am amazed that, in just a few hours, so many people feel like I do right now. It is sad, but made me feel like I was able to pick up some fragments to press back into my frame. They are new fragments. I hope we all make it through today and tomorrow and tomorrow........stay strong, my new friends.

 

[Changing4Best]

Yes, having a hopeful outlook can make all the difference!