How A Person Emotional Blackmails People

[ms spock]

ThinkFeelBe,

That is one of the things about these forums that I love. Not only is there a room for a diversity of opinions and ideas, you also get to read other people's experiences and struggles and identify things and aspects of things that you need to be aware of in order to remedy, change or think up a new strategy about dealing with.

 

[Abrasky]

I watched a documentary once

My dad was a psycopath(psychologist said). Pretty sure he had a third instinct about who is vulnerable and makes a soft target too.But not all women who were abused and are victims of domestic violence are 'soft'. My dad was scared of me at 9 years old. We know how to scare the hell out of them too.;)

 

[Srain]

We know how to scare the hell out of them too.;)

Not only is this true it can be an issue. Due to my symptoms I can go on the "attack". I look back and see where I've stepped up and physically challenged this sort in public. One I've actually attacked. Did he back down, yes. He knew I knew. It feels like a drug in my system to go after them so I have to be extremely careful, I think it's rage I feel.

 

[Abrasky]

Not only is this true it can be an issue.

not really. You make sure your safe. I learned in the firebrigade Safe yourself, before safe others.
It is the pleasant words and ignoring and trying to covert them to good and having 'balls' and bravery are the things that scare them (the ones that abuse women and children). I use a magic combination and bam so far have helped two women escape violent men. One was my mum and one who was extremely brainwashed, and one was my neighbor.He was a wonderful fellow, who beat his wife every week and had the police and ambulance called once a fortnight.
I used a combination of ignoring, feeling anger, and when he physically assaulted his stepson by hitting him into my fence, I used balls and bravery (and anger which can be very protective) and said pleasant words to him over the fence, before quickly running inside and locking my door. I was safe because of the door. He was so scared of me, he moved out the following week (after beating up the neigbour across the road in front of his child) The wife was pleased and thanked me for intervening, she and her children have a better life now.
If you are raised with one, they teach you their weaknesses pretty quickly. And then it all goes down like Kung Fu Panda.

 

[ms spock]

Well some of us do the fight, flight or freeze.

It reads to me that you have all got the fight down pat.

Unfortunately I have the flight or freeze as my main way of dealing with these situations.
ms spock

 

[soulofLC]

Me too, Ms Spock. No fun. I would rather be strong, but right now, my fighting self is lost to me. I think I had it at one time, but got it metaphorically beaten out of me.

 

[ms spock]

So Maze and Srain how do you do this? Have the confidence to stand up?

 

[soulofLC]

I would be interested to know as well. When I am really angry, I go into overdrive and often just have to walk away or trouble lurks. Other times, I am caught with my jaw in my hands. Speechless, shocked. I don't know why; I think at one time I had a quick defense response system in my head that worked. It seems it is either walk away or just be blown away.

 

[Abrasky]

I'm not sure I have the confidence, I think a few things contribute to it, not any one thing. When I got a certain amount of councelling, the energy started turning into protective anger, I guess I have a good instinct for seeing 'the vulnerable points' in a domestic violence relationship as interventions don't seem to work unless these moments come up. They are antibrainwashing moments. I wasn't brave, I curled up in a ball in my house and hyperventilated while the man next door punched my walls and his wife screamed at my windows. So not brave no. Don't people just do things because they are in a moment where they are safe and it is the right thing to do? I couldn't let him just beat the kid while the police came and then have to go to court to be a witness. I wanted shock value. It is the quiet ones and the ones that take ages and bide their time that you have to watch.
A man continuously hit his kid lightly in the head supermarket while whining at him to stop moving the other day, but I had a feeling if I intervened it would have increased the trauma for the kid by having me get hit, so I didn't do anything. I wouldn't have been safe, and I learned that to intervene in a fire, you need to be safe bfeore making others safe. There was no door to keep me safe, and he was unstable. How do you deal with that? Sometimes fires can't be put out.

 

[soulofLC]

So you are saying it is more of a spontaneous reaction from the counseling you received? That is a good therapist! Or you are a good subject! A combination I suspect... It is so hard to see children treated badly in public.

 

[Glaucus]

In the theatre community of southern England, this will be called the Black Arts, Blackhawking (the helicopter), and various other names. In his simple form it is just bullying. There are lots more ways your enemies can deceive you. It is known that enemies can try and induce another person to commit suicide by continual harassment. It is known in military circles. Sometimes, you may think somebody just being their normal obnoxious self, but some criminals do it with a deliberate plan. So do some mental health clients and even people suffering from PDST may behave in this way. It is a sort of contagious form of terror by sadists.

Explanatory links removed by the spam preventer.

 

[soulofLC]

Creepy, Glaucus. Pure evil is hard to accept; but it is out there. "Man's inhumanity to man" (read woman or man) has always been with us. We are fortunate to live in a time where help is available to those who have faced the worst.