Poll How Are Your Relationships With Your Family As A Result Of Your Trauma?

[Kb3]

I put rocky. The only person who knows that I have been traumatised and have PTSD is my husband, and while he doesn't really understand the condition, he is supportive as he can be. Since I have had effective therapy things have improved dramatically for us and I'm very grateful that he stayed the course when things were bad.

My family doesn't know and because they are in denial, most likely wouldn't understand. Like another poster I have chosen to maintain outward peace and have taken a geographic cure by moving to another country. That has been the best solution I could come up with and it has worked.

 

[Helliepig]

I think it would still drive me crazy to spend any time with my family because the weird dynamics would still be there - I was habitually ignored, left out and scapegoated, or treated like everything I said was so terrible - and in subtle nauseating ways that would still go on. It would still be crazy because no-one but me would see it.

They have never valued me for who I am or wanted to be loving and generous and kind- even as much as being interested in what I say or just validating the fact I exist - so there is no point. But it hurts that I haven't got a family around me that give a s**t and that I never did.

Case in point, my birthday yesterday, all I got from any of the three of the was "happy birthday" on a text from my brother. Neither me nor my 8 year old son will hear a whisper from any of them for christmas.

Apparently he doens't exist or matter either

I would like to heal enough to find a new, kind family. Currently I am still too scared to make a choice or get to close, but I hope one day I can get there.

 

[Anna]

Rocky. My parents are the kind of don't ask, don't tell people. They don't want to talk about problems.
We love each other, but I can never ever talk to them about anything bad.

 

[VDWngr1355]

Well, my husband was the abuser and I left him. My Mother tries to be supportive but doesn't read up on PTSD. But overall she is understanding. My brother is very understanding of the situation. But I don't enjoy being around my family anymore. I was just thinking about this, this morning. Before, we would go out to do things together as a family. Now we or I should say, I don't, because I always find a reason to avoid going out with them. It just seems too stressful and not enjoyable.

 

[J'aime]

I cut off contact with all of my family, except my brother, long before I was diagnosed with ptsd. My family were partial contributors to my disorder(s), but that is not the reason I cut contact. They were just poisonous people, most of whom I haven't seen or hard from in over a decade. My dad died in 1999, so thst took care of itself...my mo and I have never had a good relationship to say the least. My two sisters and I do not speak. I haven't seen my big sister in over ten years, and my aunts/uncles/cousins, etc in even longer. Don't miss them. They're nuts. :) Just very blessed to have my brother in my life. His generosity, love, and support make up for a million families. xoxo

 

[BlueFighter]

I put Rocky because I have not shared any of my trauma with my family. My family has seen the effect it has had on me, but have no idea why I behave the way I do. My family often makes things worse when it comes to what has happened just because I have put them in a situation where they could not know any better. When I was younger they sent me to therapy(not knowing what to do with me), but at the time I was not ready to be open with anyone.

 

[Barberian]

I only have one surviving brother out of two. I've cut off contact with him. He seems to think if I just get out of the house more everything will be peachy and I'll be "all better". I had cut off contact with my mother because she has been an alcoholic most of my life. I hated calling her when she was drunk, which was any time I called her. She would ask me things about my PTSD, usually they were questions with no easy answer that would make me very uncomfortable. Neither one will ever understand the stress of having thier lives threatened from multiple sources for prolonged periods of time of being in a war zone. Trying to explain it is like trying to get a chipmunk to understand the theory of relitivity. Just not gona happen.

Just recentliy I've started contact with my mother again. She has been sober, and I have set strict guidlines about what I will and won't talk about. I also told her that I may abrubtly end the converstaion if I get too stressed out. Phones are an anxiety trigger for me, I HATE phones.

 

[Ricanoland]

I believe that Family is very important, and if you have a real one keep it. If you don't have one and want one... the goal I have for myself is to get myself, to be an amazing father whenever that maybe, to create my family.

 

[Crash]

I would say good for the most part but with a couple of rocky moments.
I have family members who talk about "how much I've changed". Its obviously not a positive change from the tone and context. It takes away any sense of accomplishment that I have about coping with everything (not just the accident) as well as I have.
Sure, I could have done better, but I didn't, I definitely could have done worse with my entire sense of identity being challenged and in some ways shattered. Otherwise they've been great.
My husband has been fantastic although I know there are moments when he just doesn't want to listen, but he can tell when I need to talk and he lets me, I can never quite explain how thankful I am for that. He helps me challenge some of my issues and talks me through when I need it. Definitely rocketing my vote into the Good category.....

 

[Gamereign555]

I didn't vote. Mostly it was because there hasn't been any change in the way they see me.

 

[Elisacullen21]

I voted horrible. My mother does not supports me and remains in denial. I do not even dare talk about my trauma with her because because I feel judged. I feel bad it gets :(

 

[timetorecover]

To My Husband and kids, I can be a complete BITCH! - I can see it, but when its too late. I Love them but get so irritated by them so quickly.

To My Parents, I have learnt to take pity on them.