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Poll How Are Your Relationships With Your Family As A Result Of Your Trauma?

How are your relationships with your family as a result of your trauma?

  • Good. My family is supportive of me through these hard times.

    Votes: 13 6.6%
  • Rocky. We have our struggles through this hard time, but we love each other.

    Votes: 74 37.6%
  • Horrible. I have cut off contact with my family or am considering it.

    Votes: 110 55.8%

  • Total voters
    197
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I selected option 3, however, the no contact policy established was and continues to be empowering for me. Not horrible.
What was horrible was the decades of self abuse trying to navigate the dangerous waters. I wish I had done this at age 20 instead of 50. My life is starting to heal and thrive. Slowly.
 
My family doesnt know I have PTSD. If they did, they would just make me feel worse. Like it's a crutch for me, and free pass to be a f up. And laugh. Just like my aunt did in an email when I told her tonight. She told me to grow up and take responsibility for my actions. Letting go of those who aren't supportive or even believe you, people that are supposed to be family... I'm trying to learn how to put myself first. It's more important that I get healthy for my kids' and SO's sake. They're the ones still here, rooting me on. They're the ones who are gonna push me when the strength isn't there.

I don't deserve abuse. I will not take it. I don't deserve it from anyone, not even my own family.
 
It's kind of tough by is meant by family. My wife and two boys are doing pretty good a little rocky at times but over all I would say pretty good. The rest of my family I tend to not talk about it with them. Still kind of a shame type thing and not wanting them to treat me differently.
 
I said "good" although I could have just as easily checked rocky or horrible depending on whom you're talking about.
 
I voted horrible no contact. I am not in contact with my brothers at all. They were both one of many abusers within the family. There are a couple of extended family members that I'm friends with on fb but that's the extent of the contact. The other family members do not like me and I do not like them. As far as I'm concerned the only family I have are my kids.
 
I chose "good", because I've always had a good relationship with my family. However, I have noticed that I am displaying signs of insecure attachment. Since my trauma I've been very afraid of something happening to my loved ones or losing them for some other reason. So I worry about them a lot, I try to be perfect around them and take as much stress away from them as I can, and I make sure to often tell them that I love them.
 
For me, it is rocky at best. None of them accept the abuse by the babysitter, therefore are not considered as supporters as I deal with this trauma. They do not know I am back in therapy. My dad and a couple siblings have been diagnosed as bi-polar. My dad thinks my depression can be treated like their bi-polar. His bi-polar is the problem, my depression is only a symptom of my problem. I have often thought about breaking contact with them and have for short periods of time, less than a year, here and there.
 
Only my partner knows. I live some distance from my now elderly parents and brothers, they have no idea and I don't want them to know, especially because my parents unknowingly contributed to my problems. My partner is always supportive. She has suffered enormously because of me and yet still sticks with me, she is more than I deserve.

My problems caused the loss of nearly all my close friends. They were my extended family and I loved them. I miss them so much, everyday.
 
My relationship with my family is much better than it has been in past years, but I still have a long way to go. My parents played a huge role in a lot of my trauma, especially on an emotional and psychological level. It has taken me many years to seek healing and works towards forgiveness. I am much less bitter than in the past, but I am still angry about a lot of things. I love my family very much..it's just taken me a very long time to learn how to be close to them..
 
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