Sexual Assault How Can I Deal?

[The Albatross]

Glad to be assistive... read up on alcoholic/addicts. Knowledge is power... I had to hone up on behaviors so I could recognize them. If it's available there is also a book called "Safe People (How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't" by Dr's Henry Cloud and John Townsend.... the book is not secular, it has Christian material, but it is exceedingly assistive and instructive to learn about safe relationships. It is one I've gone back through multiple times.

One of the hardest things coming from a trauma/abuse background was gauging safety and the caliber of relationships. May be helpful?

 

[Bella22]

To Seedling and Ghotiff I find your self soothing techniques very helpful. I do like sitting in weird darker places by myself so I can think. The wardrobe would be a good place I think. I will put my plush toys on my bed. Including the 5 ft teddy. Thank you both so much I find it more helpful to get soothing techniques from people who have shared the same experience.

Seedling: thank you for the advice about other's feeling and also I didn't mean to rape me though my mum especially fears that, that may become a reality. I am being cautious to avoid that at all cost and if it comes to it to fight my way out of the situation. Thank you

Ghotiff: I appreciate you so much and all the wonderful advice you have been able to give me about everything especially the recent ones of soothing and my self esteem. Thank you. You are a extremely good person. Especially helping people here

 

[Bella22]

To the Albatross I will definitely try and find that book and others similar. It is extremely helpful and I could not thank you enough

 

[The Albatross]

I also found ACOA... Adult Child of Alcoholics material helpful... I did that as a one year goal challenge once a few years ago and it helped me a lot too with the dysfunctional family stuff as well.

 

[The Albatross]

I tend to take a really studious approach to the familial dysfunctions... it helped me be able to assess situations more appropriately than the measuring stick I was hard wired and/or conditioned to have. Particularly with a sense of low self worth or esteem... rather than stay in a fugue state I decided to learn about it. Along the way that's how/where my coping skills and tools came from... even though I couldn't afford to stay in therapy.

 

[Bella22]

To the Albatross I simply cannot thank you enough. I will try and find the recommend books and similar ones to read while I'm on school holidays. You are absolutely right Knowledge is power. Thank you for everything you have done in this forum and others. Your advice will be put to great use. Thank you for using your experience to help myself and others. I do also believe that facts make emotional complicated situations easier

 

[The Albatross]

Aw... kind to say, but really hon' I'm just another peer. One who hit my traumatic background young like you did... only I continued to take the hits into womanhood. Now I'm an old birdie... been dealing with this stuff a very long time. Peer support and education are key to navigating this swamp. You're fortunately able to ask for opinions/assistance where not much was available to me (I remember the first video game being Pong and Commodore 64's). You are not doomed to repeat the traumatic situations nor the dysfunctions of your bio family... I really think you're going to get a handle on this.

 

[seedling]

Ah, to wrap my arms around a five foot teddy :)

You are doing so well, finding the resources you need to overcome your challenges in life. :hug: hugs if you like those

 

[ghotiff]

Aw... kind to say, but really hon' I'm just another peer. One who hit my traumatic background young like you did... only I continued to take the hits into womanhood. Now I'm an old birdie... been dealing with this stuff a very long time. Peer support and education are key to navigating this swamp

So well said.

 

[ghotiff]

Keeping yourself physically safe while seeing your father is important, but also consider keeping yourself emotionally safe.

Consider your boundaries and how you will respond if they are crossed. Eg, if he is rude/mean will you walk away/defend yourself/ignore it?

Consider self care after you see him. Many members have a self care plan after doing something difficult. Everyone is different. I've read people who eat their favorite treat food, or visit a calming venue. Have a plan for what you might do after you see him.