How Can Some People Cause So Much Damage And Get Away With It?

[Fadeaway]

My ex has hurt so many people, ruined so many lives and yet he still gets life handed to him on a silver platter, everything in life goes his way. It makes me so angry. How can someone constantly break the law, abusing people, kidnap children, deal drugs and drive around drunk all the time and never get more than a slap on the wrist.

I just found out today about somethings that are the result of long term damage that my ex caused in the relationship he was in prior to mine. More peoples lives in shambles because of his actions. My heart is breaking for her and her family right now.

The worst thing is that the woman he was in a relationship with prior to me, tried to warn me. He had me convinced she was crazy, so I didn't take her seriously.

 

[Alfred.Greene]

I'm sorry.

I know your pain. I wish I could help.

 

[silkleaves]

Can only let you know... I read this and just thew up an entire post, in my head, that I can't even actually write or else I will just fall apart here.

Its almost like all you have to do is cheat, lie, manipulate, take advantage of and then throw away someone who cares and loves you while laughing at how easy that was and how naive they were for trusting you, and you too can have the amazing life of your dreams, a successful career and the most amazing person to share it all with!!! This is something that I can spin around in my head for weeks and I just can't even right now.

In short, I don't know. It just doesn't seem fair, or right on any level. I don't know.

 

[shimmerz]

The only way that I can get my head around this is to try to picture the devastation I would cause if I was like this. Although it seems people like this get what they want in life, I honest to god could NOT do this. If I had my choice to be like me and have nothing (and I have been tested on this three times), or to be like myself and care about others, I would NEVER change my mind and be one of 'those'. I hope you can find peace with this...it is one of those things that when I was able to come to terms with it it a ton of things fell into line for me. Keep believing in you.

 

[Alfred.Greene]

He has nothing worth having. Sure he has money, but is the soul not worth something? Is your morals, ethics, values, your spirit not worth anything? He will end up alone.

 

[shimmerz]

I remember having what i called my 'science experiments' in which I hooked up with men just to see whether I could discern the good from the bad. I learned a ton in this time. Money many times leads to a sense of entitlement. So sad. Anyways, I remember asking one of the guys I saw while we were out for a drink 'what do you do that feeds your soul'. He looked at me stunned and said 'really? I have NO idea what you are talking about'. I may have accepted that answer at one time but that was a huge sign for me not to see this guy again. No attachment to ones own soul? How can one possibly be attached to other's if they have no relationship with their own soul?

 

[Fadeaway]

@silkleaves That is exactly it.

@Alfred.Greene I wish it was just money, he has everything he wants including my kids, but that is another story. He is a sociopath who feeds off the destruction he creates in other peoples lives.

 

[shimmerz]

Yup, had two of those as well. Sociopaths have a way of finding me. I get the pattern now and see what they saw in me. If it makes you feel any better, you can't hurt a sociopath's feelings because they have none. Nothing is their fault so don't get caught in the trap of 'feeling for them' I have a saying. Never cry over something or someone that can not cry over you. Sociopaths don't cry over anyone. They look like this with our eyes wide open :alien::clown::devilish::dead::chicken::shifty::smug::sour::troll::wacky::lurking::mask: and if you look at the names of each of these icons they try to make US feel like they act.

 

[Changing4Best]

My grandfather on my father's side was like this. Let me tell you about his death:

He had cancer and it lasted and lasted and he lived to be 102 years of age, suffering through the final years in agony. Maybe this can help. I'd say he was given every chance to reverse his ways before he suffered his finals days in this way. So don't worry, before they die, they finally get what's coming to them.

His wife, who he beat every day of their lives, what happened to her? She died young and as far as I know, not in pain.

You know what we put on the old man's gravestone? "THE GOOD DIE YOUNG" and the dates of his birth and death. Really, he lived to be 102 years old!

Time will tell in your ex's case too. Let it befall him when it will, for it will!

 

[Headtrama99]

This where was twisted in sick. Few people will be able to fix it in the future because of how people act nowadays. People have made it so if you do the opposite of what you are supposed to do, you get whatever you want and then the people who try to do the opposite get nothing. I am not trying to say people should expect good things for doing the right thing, it is just sad how bad people get everything handed to them.:facepalm:

 

[silkleaves]

That is what scares me @shimmerz ... there is something about me that attracts me to this type of guy, and in turn attracts these types of guys to me. So now, I don't trust my judgement. And even so, either way...they all end up leaving anyway. So I just really feel like Im much better off staying single. But that scares me more than being involved with someone like that. So convoluted.

Anyway, it really does not make me feel any better, the concept of karma, or that they will end up alone or they will get theirs... because so far, all three of my ex's are married, live in beautiful houses, have fantastic careers, happy and have a beautiful life. And Im here in my crummy apartment, barely holding onto whatever work I can get, struggling, alone and have to make the conscious decision every day not to hate everything about myself.

Sometimes people do not get what they deserve, and that goes both ways..for us and for them. It just happens that way sometimes. All I know is I cant be one of those people. I just dont have it in me.

 

[mamachick]

I too have been with sociopaths. Your husband sounds like a sociopath. They are very clever and do have a way of getting away with things that I would not want to. I have been the victim as you have, and witnessed that evil person seem to come out on top. I know that nobody said that life would be fair-and it is not. But even though I have been injured and abused, I have managed to recoup my values, morals, and integrity.

I was married at 17 to a 19 yr old abusive man. He was addicted, bi-polar and mean. I was beaten and raped. After 6 yrs I finally got away from him and he stalked me until a family member threatened him. He never paid child support but had fancy cars and such and gave her expensive gifts that I could not afford. For years I both feared and hated him. Our daughter, now 37, suffers trauma-much she only has pieces of memory of, but she never got close with her father. Her childhood impacted her life as an adult negatively. Her children have been impacted by the trauma she has from witnessing the abuse.

Away from him about 10 years, I realized that I no longer feared or hated him. By then, I had realized his mental illness unmanaged and such. A couple of years ago, he told my daughter that he has pulmonary fibrosis. He is dying. He needs a lung transplant. He is not been accepted anywhere. He had to retire early and go on disability. He blew his pension. I think he is pretty broke financially right now. Only after becoming sick did he attempt any real relationship with my daughter-who desperately wants his approval still. I guess Im really stupid-if I could help him somehow, I would. He has started going to church, stays in a clean room and is on oxygen 24/7. He is 57 yrs old now. He is scared of dying. I still pray for him. I would rather be stupid and humane than have such regrets at the end of life. I feel guilt for things I have had no control over-such as my daughter witnessing abuse. I trust that things have a way of working out-even though I dont know how.