How Can You Tell Intuition From Paranoia In Dating Relationships?

[iwannadeletethis]

I am kind of triggery too! not offense taken. I knew better then to try to represent men in a ladies...

Hahaha @ground crew than we probably SHOULD NOT talk about this stuff. My first husband used to push endless personal buttons just to torment me. We fought day and night.

 

[iwannadeletethis]

Hahaha @ground crew than we probably SHOULD NOT talk about this stuff. My first husb...

I am kind of triggery too! not offense taken. I knew better then to try to represent men in a ladies...

@ground crew

.. So now I go blind and fight and don't even know what I'm doing. I am sorry about all that.

 

[ground crew]

@ground crew yes, yes, yes, we're all driven by nature to create new little humans an...

You statistically cant meet 20 people like me per day without having to meet 20000 people. Got that Mensa thing going, no, that does not make women hot and bothered. Which may explain why I was willing to give up so much to get so little.

However, doing a train/bike trip this weekend now that I am skinny-ish, scantly clad as bikers tend to be, I got ogled by a woman, an attractive woman younger than me. I am getting a six pack (abs) and I tapper from the shoulders to the waist, now I am a sex object? I was in such uncharted territory I fled like a scalded dog.

 

[iwannadeletethis]

You statistically cant meet 20 people like me per day without having to meet 20000 people. Got that...

Lol. Oh GEEZ. Haha. I've come home in tears a few times before because cat callers ware on me so bad. It gets more than old. And people get aggressive. I've had to beat down 2 grown men and pull my knife on a few others. I'm not a fan of the "ogling". I've had guys get in my face and scream at me because I just want to go about my day. The way you were talking, I pictured these men I just described. Which could have been extreme. I'm sure you're perfectly nice and hopefully wouldn't threaten me. Lol. @ground crew

 

[ground crew]

Lots of practice with rejection. I take it well. This new attraction thing.... not sure about that. Plus, in addition to my normally nice non threatening persona, I now can laugh and converse in public. I had some break troughs in my last breakdown.Charming witty and getting svelt! Heartbreak is sure to follow!

Lol. Oh GEEZ. Haha. I've come home in tears a few times before because cat callers ware on me so bad....

I am pretty sure I will never have that much of an issue from ladies. again, I apologize for men in general. do they think this will impress a lady in a good way? really? And no touching-try that with a man, you get hit, why would a lady be different? I am really on the side of equality. gender, race, what have you.

 

[SnowJo]

i can't tell if I'm just fully paranoid.. Or if my intuition is going off. My boyfriend leaves his iPad...

I am no relationship expert that's for sure. But one day I hope to date someone with whom I feel calm and confident in myself.

The "crazy passionate " stuff does not mix well with my history. So I would prefer nothing until I have peace and I meet someone when I am ready, that compliments my serenity and causes calm joy.

I have enough highs and lows and don't need stimulus to be triggering ptsd all over the show ;)

 

[Anarchy]

High iq's are self eliminating in the gene pool. See Big Bang theory.

at the present time, in our culture, that is probably true, but it is far from universally true.

High functioning and successful individuals in a society are highly attractive mate material. I don't know if you remember "Mrs Merton" interviewing [IMO] ugly, little, middle aged, magician Paul Daniel's blonde bombshell of a young wife?

So Tell me, what first attracted you to bald, multi millionaire Paul Daniels?

It is also important to remember that high functioning in a society and measured IQ are not completely correlated, I don't mean this to offend academics, who are pretty clearly going to score very highly on an IQ test, but arguably, they are no where near as high functioning in society as entrepreneurs.
If the characteristics which lead to high functioning were not heritable, and were not selected for, then they would not have evolved. Hans-Herman Hoppe (philosopher and economist), gives a very good discussion of this in his "history and society" lectures which are available as free MP3 downloads. Hoppe, actually believes that the start of the industrial revolution required a reaching a threshold of a sufficeint proportion of the population above a certain IQ, so that they could adapt and emulate the work of the really intelligent polymaths.That happened around the end of the 18th century, as chance would have it, in western Europe, but could equally have begun in Northern Asia (China, Japan, Korea etc).

 

[Anarchy]

lol female orgasms exist? whaaaa

that's the difficulty I'm trying to convey. If my brain is is at all typical of male brains in general, then there's some pretty specialised pattern recognition going on, that filters out masses of background information, and locks on to physically fit women.

But how to find a woman who can confirm that, if women don't experience that same degree of specialisation? And arguably women don't, you appear to be far more able to spot social connections in a crowd, and take in a wider field of view, rather than locking onto and zooming in on particular individuals for a closer checking out.

In just that same way, we're never going to get a male who can directly confirm that females do experience what they claim to, and that it isn't just a mean way of sending genuine guys off on a guilt and performance anxiety trip.

Jfi, I do believe in female O s.

 

[iwannadeletethis]

Lots of practice with rejection. I take it well. This new attraction thing.... not sure about that....

My boyfriend made a point too.. That most guys would die for all of the attention they give to girls. But they don't fully realize HOW much attention that girl gets. Word of advice since it sounds like you're getting into the dating scene.. If you like a girl that you think gets a lot of attention.. Don't come on strong. Strategy to get to talk to her is fine.. But talk to her like a person. Cheesy pick up lines, starting off by telling her how beautiful she is.. Bad idea. Because she hears that from everyone. You'll just blend in like all the other guys. @ground crew

 

[iwannadeletethis]

I am no relationship expert that's for sure. But one day I hope to date someone with whom I feel calm and...

I wish I worked like that!! I'll wait a while to date.. Maybe think I'm ready to try something slowly.. Then once I'm in the relationship triggers go off right and left. My traumas are lifelong and go too deep to avoid. I have to go in face first to work through them or I won't even know certain ones are still there. @SnowJo

 

[iwannadeletethis]

at the present time, in our culture, that is probably true, but it is far from universally true.

High f...

Very informative @Anarchy . I love it!! Thank you for taking the time for all that :). I liked your point on how entrepenuers function better in society than people with a larger IQ. It makes sense that people who are socially intelligent will go farther relationally. Very excited to look some of this material up :)

 

[Anarchy]

A couple of years back, I went along with a good looking friend to pick up a soft top Bentley continental (220mph super car).

Chance would have it, the cops had the road blocked. Friend is gay, and absolutely not interested in females from a sexual point of view, so he was absolutely not checking out or responding in anything other than a polite way to the female cops.

If you'll excuse the crude description, they were virtually leaving slug trails around the car. His lack of response seemed to prompt them to keep getting less and less subtle.

When the road was re opened and we were away. Friend burst out laughing. We'd been surrounded by cops for half an hour and none of them had spotted that the car tax was out of date.

Yep, nonchalant seems to work.