How Do I Come Across to Others?

[cragger65]

OK, I'm a little nervous about even asking this question. I'll prefix by saying that yes, I am paranoid at times, and yes, I have a tendency to think the worst.

Onward. I've taken a break recently for a number of reasons, the main one being that I found reading the board everyday was getting me more down. Since coming back on, I'm trying to participate again, like it used to be, but I find I get much less feedback and responses from others. Have I just fallen outside the groove, or is what I write too unconstructive to merit response?

I feel afraid that I am opening myself to be shredded, but it's been on my mind for a couple of weeks now and I know of no other way than to investigate that feeling through seeking feed-back. Maybe I need to revisit my attitude and approach as well.

thanks in advance,
Dave

 

[Nicolette]

First of all Dave the forum carries a lot of negativity due to the nature of the beast so it is not uncommon for it to wear down on you. I myself have times when I either take things too personally or other's troubles wear me down as it all seems so miserable.

Taking a break is good and I know from watching Anthony that while the forum helps it also has its down side and he is much better when he does not spend days and hours on here.

My opinion of you is a decent man who has a lot of good to share. You are positive towards others and are constructive with your comments. I think you are thoughtful too.

I don't think you are alone with your current feelings as sometimes I feel I put so much into here writing to people and don't get very much back. It sometimes actually makes me feel like I have wasted my time.

From where I sit, as stupid as it sounds, I would try not to take it personally and please don't feel guilty for taking a break and thinking that is a reason for a lapse in response. :Hug_emoticon:

 

[anthony]

Dave,

You come across just fine to me mate... no issues with your writing from what I read.

 

[Jagged Angel]

Hi cragger65, from what I have seen of your postings, you come across as caring, willing to share and give constructive advise.

I also find if I am on here every day, I get down, as Nicolette says - it is the nature of the beast for a forum like this to be draining and negative-producing.

I cannot speak for why anyone else may not respond to others, but I know that often I am lurking about just reading what people say but not responding simply because I am incapable at that moment to connect with anyone or anything.

I do not believe that you have any reason to be paranoid.

 

[BethRSA]

Cragger65,

I know you've encouraged me and made me laugh (in a good way) by suggesting that I let the guys outside my apartment block see me cleaning a gun through the window.

I also don't always respond. Sometimes, I just read. Then, I know I'm not alone.

We do appreciate your imput.

 

[Mommy to 2]

Hello Dave,

I am new here and I check the board daily, numerous times, at that. I've found the feedback from others to be enlightening and helpful to my issues at this point.

From my point of view, I'd say you're putting too much importance on what others think. It's an erroneous zone that many people have. If you want to read up on that specific way of thinking, try Wayne Dyer's Erroneous Zones.

It was very eye-opening for me...but then again, I think I've taken it to the extreme. I often don't care at all what others think of me, or how I dress, or my hair, etc. I am certainly not beyond approval seeking and enjoy giving and receiving kuddos, but I tend to please myself first...often to my detriment, in a work environment, for example.

In any case, from what I've seen you appear to have integrity and are genuine.

Thank You
~Mommy to 2

 

[Claire]

Hello Dave, I like you too :smile:

The forum's always changing with different people joining and maybe that's why you haven't had as many replies. It also depends on people time too.

Dont get down on yourself. I value your comments and by the look of it I'm not the only one.

 

[Tessa]

Hi Cragger65,
I really appreciated you answeing my vent. I am new here and have felt that no one was responding either.
You sound like a caring person who is trying to participate.
We tend to easily get down with PTSD.
Hang in there
Cheers
Tessa :smile:

 

[Deleted member 541]

Dave,

I think that sometimes, we think too much!!!!! Gets us into shit sometimes. There are times that I read things on here and think, that was good, but I fail to respond to it. Sometimes I just skim over some post, not really reading them thoroughly, and sometimes I just avoid them all together. Depends on my mood, what my day has been like, and how I feel, if I am to respond or not.

Try not to take things to personal...I think it's good that you are checking yourself, to see if the problem may be you, that shows me that you are truly trying, that you are a caring person, and willing to change, if need be.....

It isn't you........

 

[her_indoors43]

:occasion:Davo, I think you're top bloke mate.......:Hug_emoticon::smile:

 

[TLight]

Dave;
YOu are special and valuable to me and others on here. Sometimes I read through things and want to respond, but just don't have the energy.

I know that a few people's diary's that I've read have resonanated with me, your's being one of them, and I attempt to respond periodically just to show I care and support that person...........as I know others have done with my diary.

There is a lot of downer stuff here, a lot of venting, and a lot of support...........I'm glad your back on. Seems to me you are trying to get some needs met, and that in itself shows great progress.

You are appreciated greatly here...........

 

[girlblueye]

Cragger
I feel the same as you, and I agree with what Nicolette says. I was recently reading Fin's diary and as I was reading your posts to her. I thought what a wonderful person you sound, I still think the same. I know it was very hard to ask us and you were brave to ask what people thought of you. Putting yourself out there I think had the courage of a lion. How do you feel now that you know what we think? I hope you feel very proud of yourself. Congratulations.