How Do I Explain The Flashbacks?

[trapped]

The therapists in this residential program don't seem to understand the flashbacks, and that's making me feel really down and scared and invalidated.

Last night I had some of the worst flashbacks of my life... and I tried to talk to the therapist about it this morning as soon as he got in, but his response was "that's stupid- you KNOW you're in a safe place, so you have to work harder to think of that and not have the flashbacks"... He told me I needed to just control the flashbacks too... and to make the choice on if I want to make the rational thought of "this is just a movie" or if I wanted to have the flashbacks. At that point, I nearly stood up to suckerpunch him... who in their right ****ing mind would want to make the CHOICE and WANT to have a flashback?

So, how do I help him understand and learn more? How do I explain what the flashbacks are, how immediate and automatic they are? How do I get them to help me learn to cope with them, without them telling me to get over it? How do I explain all of that, the dissociation that typically follows or goes along with the flashbacks, etc?

 

[Manic11]

Hmm...I've been thinking about this since the conversation earlier. Its difficult.
The best thing I came up with is maybe next time you have a flashback, write out how you feel, what happened, etc. When you come out of it, maybe re-write it a bit and then give it to him.
Just an idea...
Either way, I'm here to support you!
I wish you good luck and I'm crossing my fingers for you.

Manic

 

[Deleted member 541]

Trapped,

From what you explain about this person.....I doubt that anything you say, or do could convince him otherwise. There are just some people in this world that are ignorant, and all the education in the world isn't going to help, nor change his opinion.......

Don't waste your time or energy on trying to do anything, other than helping yourself......

 

[sink or swim]

God, this really makes me angry. Here is a bro, in real trouble, not of his own choosing. I am now realising perhaps I am lucky when it comes to explaining so-called flashbacks. I would break it down into 3 types; perhaps you have one or all three.

But first I have my own name for it, going to the cinema. Watching a big movie unfold in front of your eyes, on not forgetting you're in it. The first was literally walking, going about whatever you're doing, and seeing bombs, bullets, explosions, people dying quicker than you could blink. Yes, some could sit right in front of you, as it all goes on around them, through them, out of them around them, but they just don't see it.

Then there's the clear picture films. Perhaps you're going somewhere, then bang! It's not see through this time, it's as clear as you being there...you may not realise it but it will stop you in your tracks, like a rabbit caught in headlights. It's still like a film, because it's moving.

The third is perhaps the closest to what civvys have understood, a bit like a colour photo snap, that can also occur just before you sleep, if you're getting much, as if your getting nightmares as well isn't something to look forward to. I suggest drinking till you're nearly obliterated. If so, it blacks out the nightmares. The last bit to worry about is that small time span of waking up...bang, you get it again.

I hope this helps you bro, but remember, I'm talking about me, and in doing so it may help you to explain one or maybe all three, if that's whats happening to you.

 

[NomadHeart]

I'm sorry to hear about your challenges with the therapists. I know what its like to not only experience one, but have someone think you're right over the moon when you explain it. That's the hardest part about having a psychological condition...if you can't see it, it must not be there. ....*eye roll*. I have also had experiences in the ER regarding my eating disorder and having to "teach" them about my illness and explain what needed to be done to help.

I would suggest trying to find another therapist. Where I am from, that's really hard to do where they are limited. But it may be possible.

If you can't do this. I'd try to educate the team you are working with a little more. I'm a nerd so I would go in with articles, stats, and descriptive accounts of my fb. When you have a fb how do you cope with it while it is occurring?

I have three types of fb, if that is possible.

I have the Polaroid pics before I go to sleep. And it;s like there is an invisible wall stopping them from flooding me, but I can see them clearly, and when I can't disassociate to block the fb, the come pouring into my mind.

Sensory FB, where i can see me and the surrounding characters, like a movie (just like sink or swim says). There is sound, and smell, and texture, and its really like im there.

And the last is a body flash back. These are the worst for me because my body is reacting the same way it did when the trauma occurred. There is pain, or shaking, and its just overwhelming.

If you can try to focus on the next one you have. reassure yourself you are safe, and allow yourself to step back and see whats going on. Try to write down as much as you can and bring this into the team. Maybe with some education and understanding of the fb itself they might be able to compromise with you and help.

All the best.

 

[NarcSis]

I think what you're therapist was trying to say in such an ineloquent manner was that flashbacks make us feel helpless and that we need to work on removing that power from the flashback. We may not be able to stop them but if we work on removing the 'power' they have over us, they are less frightening to go through. Grounding, safe places, distraction, these are all techniques to help us remove the power the flashback has over us.

It may be just my background, but it really helped me to think of them as a feedback loop - just my brain going through its feedback loop trying to 'digest' a memory. It helps me to know that I WILL have them and that most times I will be able to ground, feel safe and come back down on my own - other times they will be overwhelming and I will need help coming down. Not a problem, just a normal part of PTSD as any good trauma counsellor would know. ;)

 

[shiraz]

Hi Trapped,

I have been doing a bit of reading and I can't seem to find if you have had a diagnosis yet? PTSD or CPTSD? Either way, the following really helped me figure out flashbacks. It is written by a Psychologist who has CPTSD and it is the most useful and helpful explanation I have found anywhere.


The East Bay Therapist, Sept/Oct 2005 (publication)
Pete Walker

"A significant percentage of adults who suffered ongoing abuse or neglect in childhood suffer from Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. One of the most difficult features of this type of PTSD is extreme susceptibility to painful emotional flashbacks. Emotional flashbacks are sudden and often prolonged regressions ('amygdala hijackings') to the frightening circumstances of childhood. They are typically experienced as intense and confusing episodes of fear and/or despair - or as sorrowful and/or enraged reactions to this fear and despair. Emotional flashbacks are especially painful because the inner critic typically overlays them with toxic shame, inhibiting the individual from seeking comfort and support, isolating him in an overwhelming and humiliating sense of defectiveness.

Because most emotional flashbacks do not have a visual or memory component to them, the triggered individual rarely realizes that she is re-experiencing a traumatic time from childhood. Psychoeducation is therefore a fundamental first step in the process of helping clients understand and manage their flashbacks. Most of my clients experience noticeable relief when I explain PTSD to them. The diagnosis seems to reverberate deeply with their intuitive understanding of their suffering. When they understand that their sense of overwhelm initially arose as an instinctual response to truly traumatic circumstances, they begin to shed the awful belief that they are crazy, hopelessly oversensitive, and/or incurably defective.

Flashbacks strand clients in the feelings of danger, helplessness and hopelessness of their original abandonment, when there was no safe parental figure to go to for comfort and support. Hence, Complex PTSD is now accurately being identified by many as an attachment disorder. Flashback management therefore needs to be taught in the context of a safe relationship. Clients need to feel safe enough with the therapist to describe their humiliating experiences of a flashback, so that the therapist can help them respond more constructively to their overwhelm in the moment.

Without help in the moment, the client typically remains lost in the flashback and has no recourse but to once again fruitlessly reenact his own particular array of primitive, self-injuring defenses to what feel like unmanageable feelings. I find that most clients can be guided to see the harmfulness of these previously necessary, but now outmoded, defenses as misfirings of their fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses....... "

​

If you find this helpful, I have posted some more of his stuff on my profile ... the flashback management has been HUGELY helpful to me and I am beginning to understand the process of flashbacks a bit better because of it.

He also has a lot of useful articles on his site ... google him.

I hope this helps ... flashbacks are scary and overwhelming and can't be trivialized into 'movies' that you can choose to avoid. Read some more and decide if you really want any more input from your T ... PTSD is difficult enough to deal with without getting the wrong type of guidance.

hugs
Shiraz

 

[trapped]

Thanks for the great advice everyone.... unfortunately I can't get a new therapist while I'm here. That's the bad news. The good news is I've got less than a week before I leave here and then I can go back to seeing my normal T who I think understands the flashbacks and trauma a bit more... one of the T's here understands it a lot, and talking to him made me feel a bit better, but unfortunately I only got to talk to him a couple times a week, and last night was the last time since he's leaving on vacation. I'm just trying to make it thru the rest of my time here now without stressing out too badly and just trying to survive really... if I can do that much, I'll be okay... that'll be an accomplishment really, since I've been so depressed it's hard to function right now and it's scary cuz I've never felt like this before and when I told the therapist this week, he didn't do anything or take me seriously, which was really invalidating and frustrating.

 

[Deleted member 4109]

I would hope as a therapist he would know what it is like for someone when they have a flashback!! Has he talked to you about grounding techniques? It is very hard at the start.. best method I found was to put a stone in my pocket. If I feel like I am going to have a flashback I am to hold and examine the stone. It does work!!