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How Do "likes" And Points/virtual Money Affect Your Functioning On The Forum?

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Abstract

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It occurred to me that many of us here may find these things stir up issues we have in real life. That maybe those that have vulnerabilities about being liked may find the "likes" affecting them. That there may be times where issues about feeling unloved or finding oneself needing to push others away and not be "liked" may pop up. Also that it may influence people in what they write or don't write and where. And that those who have issues about money (troubles spending too much or troubles spending or troubles just having or not having) may find this brings up feelings or behaviours too. Especially if they start trading/betting.

I was thinking that it could be an interesting way of exposing those underlying tendencies. I suspect that if it was 3 years ago or more then these would have popped up here for me in some ways.

I don't participate in Facebook and this is a very small/tiny part of why I don't. Others may of course barely notice these things at all!:) I thought it may be an interesting venture into increased self awareness!
 
Once I found out the likes were just a show of support for the writer, I was okay with giving and recieving. Still a little awkward at times. But, I get it. Had a hard time with fb "likes" too.

Don't mind the trophies because they are not really publicized to everyone. I don't make it my goal to get them. They just happen and I'm okay with it. If everyone knew every time you got one, whether it was me or anyone else, I would not like it. But, then again, I don't like games where there is a loser and a winner.

As far as the money...hmmm...not big on that. Found it a little disturbing in the beginning and now I just try not to pay attention to it. I get what it is for though. I'm just not into it. Other's may be and that is fine with me.

Does any of it effect the way I am on here? No, I don't think so. I would hate if it did, not just for me, but for anyone.
 
I agree with you Sailorgal and Britt.f7. For me the likes are a way to show the writer that I can hear them, and relate to what they are saying. I always hope that they are received in a positive way, and that sometimes they can help someone feel a little better.

When I receive likes I feel validated. And, I appreciate that some one has bothered to read what I have written, and can understand / empathize with me. It's like getting a tiny pat on the back for me, and it helps me to feel that it is worth my while trying to interact with the world, as I get positive and caring responses here (which I rarely get in the 'real world').

I use the trophies and $ as a reminder that I have been persisting with this endeavor, and I have done so because being here is so good for me. The virtual $ were a bit of a worry at first as I have very limited finances and I kept wishing they were real dollars that I could spend! So I have stopped looking at that bit of the screen, which has removed the stressor for me.

Hope you all have a peaceful Christmas.
 
HI everyone!:)

I think you all sound well balanced! Makes me realise how unbalanced I used to be. :rolleyes: Just to be clear I wasn't meaning this as a criticism of these things or an opinion that they should be different and rather just about observing our tendencies.

I think it's possible that years ago (no way of knowing for sure of course) I would have got a bit paranoid if I didn't get likes. Probably the same with points. Or would have maybe compared mine to others likes! Possibly no amount of likes would have made me feel it was OK. Or would have become focused on saying things that got likes rather than what I wanted to say because I would have become afraid that I had offended someone or hurt their feelings.

Getting trophies is great isn't it! I used to have backlash whenever I got awards for things in real life. It was like I waited for impending doom. I now realise that subtly at home doing anything good and getting credit for it resulted in more criticism and undermining than anything else. But really I would be filled with shame and fear.


I have always been very rational on the outside but inside was not a healthy bunny! Makes me a little sad for me actually.
 
I have no idea what any of it means, so it's a nice surprise when one shows up in the 'Alerts' thing. I'm Scottish by heritage, anything which racks up into high numbers with apparently no effort on my part is just FINE with me. :)

The 'likes' can mean soooo many different things, can't they? Support, like. "YEA, that's RIGHT, Sistah!", to 'OMG, that's hyterical, just spilled the coffee!' to " Ohhh, look at the puppy! " and of course " We hear you ". Validation- gosh- so incredibly helpful with this whole healing thing.

It's a nice thread, thank you.
 
I hope this won't cause offence or be misunderstood, but I find the likes thing quite difficult. Given that it's there, I appreciate it very much if someone shows me support by using it. I'd prefer it overall, though, if there wasn't any option to like and people could simply choose whether or not to show support/agreement with a word or two in a reply.

A large part of that is that I often forget to like someone else's post when it would be appropriate, then feel bad later. A small part of it is that I'd rather feel that all posts are equal. But I'm probably a bit of an online dinosaur so it feels slightly unnatural, when it could be usual for most other people.

I liked the trophies when I first joined. I felt encouraged by them, and liked the fact that basically it was just for participating - sort of, yay, good for me for making my first post! I'd be quite happy if they continued to be nothing but that, eg six month anniversaries etc. I don't take any notice of the points, and I've completely lost track of what's going on since the new system was introduced anyway.

The virtual money isn't something I take much notice of.
 
Abstract said:
I think it's possible that years ago (no way of knowing for sure of course) I would have got a bit paranoid if I didn't get likes.
Click to expand...

I think it is merely a way of demonstrating support for someone writing something useful and/or honest (it is difficult to say, but I suspect there is dishonesty most places). I enjoy the likes as it demonstrates to me that people have actually read and/or understood what I have written, or have at least considered it. As for the money, I'm an MBA student, it allows me to try and understand what I'm learning in terms of finance.

That said, I'm not here (or anywhere else for that matter) for the purpose of being liked. I'm here first and foremost in order to help me manage an illness that affects my family and myself, likes and virtual money are very, very secondary to that.
 
Since I've thought about it more, the likes have turned to "just an online feature" to use or not to use. Sometimes I hit "like" because to me then, it's a fast way to show "I hear you". I think people hit it for several reasons, sometimes because they really like the content, sometimes basically to say "I hear you" or "I support you", and I'm sure there are more reasons I'm not aware of. Since I don't know what the intention of the person is to "like" my posts, the likes don't mean too much to me anymore; all goes down to "hey, I've read your post".

I agree with Hashi and am trying to do this myself: why not express why you're hitting "like" in a small post? Just saying.
 
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