How do you change "plan brain"?

[lostforgottensoul]

So, is it possible that something else could act as a physical barrier when you don’t have Chopper with you? Could you, for instance, hold a bag or laptop case or something (even if empty) between you and the other person? Could that have a similar effect?

No. That doesn't work. I would maybe do a search on service dogs and how they help folks with PTSD. There are several threads on here about that. I only wanted to explain that when Chopper cannot be with me it is just like before I had a service dog and that directly effects my ability at work vs my ability in a store or my therapist's waiting room etc when he is with me. A clerk in a store is very different then a co-worker because of having and not having my service dog (in training).

 

[barefoot]

I would maybe do a search on service dogs and how they help folks with PTSD. There are several threads on here about that.

I don’t really have the time, energy or inclination to thoroughly research everything about having a service dog right now. I just read that bit about Chopper helping by being a barrier and thought I’d toss out the question of whether something else could help you by effectively acting as a barrier.

Would it be worth starting a new thread - or posting in one of the SD threads - asking other SD owners what helps them with this challenge when they don’t have their dog with them?

A clerk in a store is very different then a co-worker because of having and not having my service

Yes, I get that.

But your last post still kind of highlights the point I was making previously. Which is that you seem so attached to
what you can’t do/what isn’t possible.

This:

No. That doesn't work.

may well be true - I’m sure you must know whether this is something that might work or whether you know for a fact that it doesn’t. But by just saying about so many things, that won’t work, that isn’t possible, I can’t do that etc, I think that really narrows the possibilities available to you.

If you can only feel able to smile/ say hello to someone when Chopper is there to act as a barrier and there is nothing else that can help you with that in his absence, that sounds pretty final in keeping you stuck in being very isolated. And I’m sure there is room for growth with you for this. Hope so anyway - good luck! :-)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

A laptop case (or any non-living being) cannot alert me to an on coming panic attack, help ground me to calm and stop one, do deep pressure therapy to help calm one and stop me from disossiating if I do end up having one or help keep me from moving if I do dissociate. I am only explaining the difference in when one has their service dog and when they don't but they still badly need one. Most handlers aren't without their service dogs or are rarely without them. Chopper is still in training. Now, this thread isnt about service dogs. I only brought it up to explain the difference between being at a store and being at work.

 

[barefoot]

I know it isn’t a thread about service dogs - I was using that as an example too since it had already been brought up.

My main point in posting in this thread is: to me it seems that, here and in some other threads recently, you seem very stuck in the mindset of what you can’t do, what’s not possible and worst case scenarios. And that seems to be feeding your anxiety so that it escalates. And that relates to the panic that seems to be coming up in your over-planning.

So, what I am suggesting is that that mindset isn’t helping you right now. So I was encouraging you to try to find some ways of identifying things (maybe even very small things) that you *can* do so that you can build some confidence and find some power in those things to try to counter the negative thinking, catastrophising and overactive anxiety-fuelled planning/panicking that don’t seem to be serving you very well at the moment. The question around whether something else could replace the barrier Chopper is for you in those circumstances was just that - a question in response to something that had already been posted to see if something else could help instead. You said it doesn’t work like that. That’s fine. I’m not doubting you. Nor do I need to go and educate myself about all things service dog because I threw out that question.

All I am trying to do is try to encourage you to look at what might be possible or what you might be able to do instead of gathering all your evidence for something not working and telling us in detail about all the reasons why you can’t do something.

For all the things you know you can’t do, find something that you can. Not just about things related to Chopper.

Because finding things you can do or can try is more of a growth mindset that might lead to some forward progress. Whereas getting stuck in all the thoughts around things that you can’t do or that aren’t possible just keeps you stuck there.

That’s all.

You’re obviously not finding my contributions here helpful and that’s fine and I will bow out of this thread. I hope you get some other responses that help you.

 

[Changing4Best]

There is a book by Max Lucado called "ANXIOUS FOR NOTHING Finding Calm in a Chaotic World." It might help.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Thank you @SpiritSong! I'll look into getting that!

I've distanced myself on purpose to try to soak in some stuff. So far I've googled service dog meetups without any real success. There is one that meets yearly in SeaWorld but I'm not real intrested in paying to go into the attractions or to meetup and the group is rather large. But, it is an option. Its not until Aug. I haven't found smaller groups of maybe around 10 which is what intrests me more, to meet for free, closer in date. So, its penciled down for now. A service dog training program, Trained And Maintained, is local. She goes into the attractions a lot to train. Im not sure if she does meet ups. Am looking for ways to contact her. Her and I got out on a very bad start so not sure she'll be intrested in a meet up or even her clients meeting up but we'll see. Thinking of just posting a video about wanting to have a meet up of a handful of people, date and time open, and see where that goes. Very small channel which is why I haven't done that but hey, it could go somewhere so maybe.

Just stopping has helped some. I haven't been able to completely stop but I have been able to slow it to a point where I feel a bit less panicked and a bit more focused. Not a ton and not fully focused but a bit. It's helped me to be a bit more useful as well. Distance I think is what helped there and "just stopping" isn't reality. Not for me anyway. But its slowed.

Again, not stopped "plain brain" or "panic brain" but slowed which automaticlly turns into more focus. Will continue to work on it.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

My therapist calls this "plain brain" being resourceful. He says that I am more resourceful then most of his clients that he sees. He said that he thinks I was born with this resourceful ability and that it pre-dates any abuse. He says that once we add PTSD hyper arrousal, anxiety, and other symptoms...that's when we get panic. But he says it's an attribute in me that he very much admires. So, I guess my brain always trying to find a plan and a way around something isn't a bad thing? He says it's a great thing. I don't know. I'm not very good at seeing attributes or good things about myself. I'm supposed to research resourcefulness and then journal about how I've been resourceful even as far back as my trauma. That's this week's homework. I plain to do that in my diary here.

Unfortantly we didn't get to do EMDR on the church thing because we were talking and picking apart my regression lately. We came to the conclusion that I'm scared and when I'm scared I hide in the dark to feel safer which is what I did back then.

Anyway, I wrote this here instead of my diary as it was about the "plan brain" thing. Just wanted to update ya'll on what my therapist said. I haven't been able to call any of the churches or talk to co-workers or even plan a service dog meet up. Been hiding in the dark unable to function. It all boils down to being scared.

 

[shimmerz]

Your T sounds great! So glad you have local one on one help.

 

[scout86]

So, I guess my brain always trying to find a plan and a way around something isn't a bad thing?

I don't think it's a bad thing. When it gets to be a problem is when you're NOT finding solutions, you're just spinning your wheels and driving yourself nuts. (Or into a dark corner.)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

When it gets to be a problem is when you're NOT finding solutions, you're just spinning your wheels and driving yourself nuts.

Yeah, he says that's when PTSD meets resourcefulness and turns into irrational panic and an over the top reaction. I suppose the homework he gave me will help stop this brain grinding/spinning when I'm not able to peice together a rough draft plan or find a solution around a problem. That def is when the problem starts to occur.

Your T sounds great!

Yeah, he def is. He's been a perfect therapy fit for me for sure!