My job has it's usual stress, working in a large, overcrowded high school. The heat or A/C is always breaking down, and there are bugs everywhere.
But my issue is that we have had three straight days of lockdown, fire, and other drills, and then a lockdown/release with a gun brought into the school today. Nothing happened, technically.
My child attends where I work, so I had to work, and also worry about her, and get ready to go and take her home when the announcement for where she was to go was released.
Her phone was dead, so I didn't know if she was fine or not.
I was able to contact my husband/supporter to stay calm, we texted. I was alone for 2.5 hours in a locked, dark portable with no information about my child or myself.
I was doing fine coping until I heard popping/banging sounds (3) and a male voice yell "Help!" very fast outside, far off.
I froze, and I wondered if I was hearing the gun being used or something else. It sounded like banging and not gunfire.
I just called 911 and let them know what I heard and that I couldn't be sure what I was hearing for certain.
They sent in our school sheriff officer to me. I told him what I heard, and pointed to where it seemed to come from. There was a storage area that likely there were maintenance workers in, who were loading up to leave. It was probably just them being careless jerks, not thinking that their banging and yelling might upset a school on lockdown.
I never got word what it was. I'll never know. I was really scared that my daughter could be harmed, and myself. I calmed after a bit, but I still feel upset.
What are people with PTSD supposed to do after stressors to prevent them from making us have relapses?
So far, no flashbacks or triggering, just high alert, heart racing and overall tension in my body. I can't stop thinking about it. :(
At meetings, I was told 2 years ago the drill was way too realistic; they had a girl screaming and banging on the door "He's got a gun! Let me in!" and the staff member locked inside who wasn't allowed to let her in had a nervous breakdown and quit that night. I don't think she sued the school. And the school hasn't changed their policy of having "realistic" drama drills, which can cause staff to cry and think that the event is really happening.
This today wasn't a drill; it was a real report of a gun. But the constant attention to drills mixed into real emergencies at random keep my stress pretty high up there.
I'm not sure how to protect myself from my job causing further damage to my PTSD.
This is way more than I bargained for when I started. I had drills and emergency evacuations at my last job, including bombs being placed on campus, but my child wasn't on campus. That makes it way more scary for me as a mom.
But my issue is that we have had three straight days of lockdown, fire, and other drills, and then a lockdown/release with a gun brought into the school today. Nothing happened, technically.
My child attends where I work, so I had to work, and also worry about her, and get ready to go and take her home when the announcement for where she was to go was released.
Her phone was dead, so I didn't know if she was fine or not.
I was able to contact my husband/supporter to stay calm, we texted. I was alone for 2.5 hours in a locked, dark portable with no information about my child or myself.
I was doing fine coping until I heard popping/banging sounds (3) and a male voice yell "Help!" very fast outside, far off.
I froze, and I wondered if I was hearing the gun being used or something else. It sounded like banging and not gunfire.
I just called 911 and let them know what I heard and that I couldn't be sure what I was hearing for certain.
They sent in our school sheriff officer to me. I told him what I heard, and pointed to where it seemed to come from. There was a storage area that likely there were maintenance workers in, who were loading up to leave. It was probably just them being careless jerks, not thinking that their banging and yelling might upset a school on lockdown.
I never got word what it was. I'll never know. I was really scared that my daughter could be harmed, and myself. I calmed after a bit, but I still feel upset.
What are people with PTSD supposed to do after stressors to prevent them from making us have relapses?
So far, no flashbacks or triggering, just high alert, heart racing and overall tension in my body. I can't stop thinking about it. :(
At meetings, I was told 2 years ago the drill was way too realistic; they had a girl screaming and banging on the door "He's got a gun! Let me in!" and the staff member locked inside who wasn't allowed to let her in had a nervous breakdown and quit that night. I don't think she sued the school. And the school hasn't changed their policy of having "realistic" drama drills, which can cause staff to cry and think that the event is really happening.
This today wasn't a drill; it was a real report of a gun. But the constant attention to drills mixed into real emergencies at random keep my stress pretty high up there.
I'm not sure how to protect myself from my job causing further damage to my PTSD.
This is way more than I bargained for when I started. I had drills and emergency evacuations at my last job, including bombs being placed on campus, but my child wasn't on campus. That makes it way more scary for me as a mom.
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