Poll How Do You Cry?

[rockymountain]

i let the tears flow when it has to flow and I don't hold on to it, though only when I am alone.

 

[kerrence]

alone and noone in earshot I tend to cry quite loudly. It helps for some reason. I dont tend to cry much even if I want to. I used to self harm and that made it easier to cry. Maybe because I had a physical reason to. Ive been SH free for 2 years now. So back to lack of tears.

 

[Tinyflame]

I've never realized til now (this thread) crying could be anything but silent? -I am silent, even when alone.

 

[TEL]

alone and noone in earshot I tend to cry quite loudly. It helps for some reason. I dont tend to cry much even if I want to. I used to self harm and that made it easier to cry. Maybe because I had a physical reason to. Ive been SH free for 2 years now. So back to lack of tears.

Dear Kerrence; Sometimes I find release for crying in particular movies watched. Or a song. Or reading a Psalm in the bible, Psalm 23 helps for me. In fact, just this morning I cried reading..."You restoreth my soul".
Congratulations on being SH free for 2 years. :)

 

[TEL]

Okay, even though I fell backwards 2 days ago and it hurts to sit for long, I need to enter what happened last night re: crying....
Couldn't sleep. Got up and spent too much time sitting in a chair. Hurt really bad, so I slowly limped back to my bed. Hubby sleeping mostly...the thought suddenly dawns on me, "Now I'm REALLY a pain in the a--!" (since that's what hurt from my fall).
And suddenly that thought becomes hysterically funny to me and I start laughing uncontrollably. Hysterical, really. My laughter wakes the hubby up, asks me what's going on, and I tell him my thought (already wrote above). Only he's not laughing, just me. I'm laughing even more and thinking any minute he'll start laughing too. Instead, he says, "if you're a pain in the a--, then why doesn't mine hurt?"...so I start laughing hard, hard.
But then, my laughter starts to morph into crying!? I try to hold it on, try to not scream, pushing the blanket over my mouth. Torn between just letting it all out crying-wise, but feeling ridiculous about hysterically laughing and now suddenly crying.
Hubby asks, "are you still laughing or are you crying?"....somewhat embarrassed, I say "I'm crying. I'm having a meltdown"....and then my cries turn into sounds like an injured animal.
He holds me and I cry. Then I'm able to go back to sleep.
Like many others, I wasn't permitted to cry in my family of origin while growing up. "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" was the usual warning. My mother NEVER held me, only told me she loved me when she was drunk. Not feeling sorry for myself here, just stating the facts. I was a pest, called that by my sisters, an unwelcome burden on my mother, who was fed up with having kids (I was the youngest of four).
I am grateful that God sent me a hubby who consistently cares even when I feel like I'm a pain in the a--....

 

[Reclusive]

I'm so glad you've found such a good and supportive hubby. I've done that laughing to crying thing before too and it really distressed me. I still don't understand it and am just kinda chalking it up to one of 'those things'... but it's good to get those feelings out.

 

[TEL]

The laughing/crying thing....a best friend's dad passed away (this was decades ago) and at his funeral reception, she just could not stop laughing. Her mom was furious with her. It was just something she couldn't help....

Then my own daughter, at her friend's mother's funeral, did the same thing. She felt awful for doing it, but it was really hard for her to stop it.

I once asked a T and geez, now I can't remember the explanation! Its late here...

 

[enjoyfailure]

Mostly silently - and tears just seem to flow effortlessly. Sometimes it feels really strange.

 

[Heather]

The laughing/crying thing....a best friend's dad passed away (this was decades ago) and at his funeral reception, she just could not stop laughing..

My cousin died when I was 13 y/o and we were in the limousine going from the church to the cemetary and I was sitting next to my other cousin and SHE couldn't stop laughing either. So, I guess it's not as uncommon as you might think. I guess everyone deals with grief in their own way.

 

[shell]

Lately it seems that's all I do, I feel all these horrible emotions inside and then when I'm alone driving or late at night when I'm alone, the tears roll down my face. Its always silently and alone, after getting bashed so many times for looking upset or having tears in my eyes, and being told "I'll give you something to cry about if you don't get that sulky look off your face" there's no chance anyone would ever see me cry.

 

[LawPhotos]

It is incredibly rare for me to cry. Even if I am completely alone, if I feel like I might cry I will do everything and anything to stop it. It just seems extremely imperative for me not to do it. In thinking about it I guess it stems from my way of avoiding my mother's wrath. I hid every chance I could and my sole goal was to go unnoticed. If I could fly under the radar, I might escape some of the abuse. My whole life has been about keeping every happy so nothing bad will happen and trying to blend into the background.
I am almost always successful at holding it in until it passes. My T has gotten me to well up good only once or twice in the past couple of years but recently she caught me by surprise and would not give me a chance to pull back so I'd have to say that I actually cried for awhile. I did not find it cathartic or pleasant in anyway and still feel awful about it whenever I think about it.

 

[leanne1321]

I can't cry unless I am in a lot of phsyical pain or I'm very angry. If I'm sad, I push it away and ignore it. I'm sad all the time lately. My T is trying to get me to cry and my husband is, it's like a war and I know I'll have to lose at some point, and more importantly, I want to lose.