How Do You Get People To Stop Triggering You?

[Deleted member 12723]

Pm me if you feel safe to talk to me and have conversations about everything. Here for you.:hug:

 

[sun seeker]

Thank you @gizmo.

 

[Ava Jarvis]

If it helps any -- look for folks who are part of the chronic illness community (covering both physical and mental chronic illness, and it's sadly often that they occur together). Become part of it (which basically means: online community). I'm on tumblr which is where a lot of us are at. Without this community I would never have found my friends who understand.

I particularly like tumblr because we can "reblog" (share) other people's tumblr posts. That way every person's blog becomes full of what they believe in, even if they can't generate a lot of content themselves. After a while you'll find people whose reblogs and posts and shares resonate with your own. You'll even learn a lot of stuff. And you'll learn a lot about individual people, too.

In that way, friendship-making and retaining becomes less of a minefield.

I am elemeeple on Tumblr -- feel free to follow if you join, although be warned I am an extremely liberal person. I am very, very left. Like sooooo soooo left. Way left. More left. More. Also superheroes.

Anyways. ^_^

 

[sun seeker]

Thanks for the tip, I'll look that up. :-)

 

[shimmerz]

Keeping in mind that many people have attachment disorders themselves and don't really understand that people can be deep friends in some ways and have to distance in others. It isn't just us that have problems with that. I believe I know the friend you are speaking about and if that is correct, she is a lovely person who would WANT to help in whatever way possible as far as I recall. She most likely doesn't know how to distance herself from this part of you that she may feel is overwhelming to her.

 

[Ava Jarvis]

I've had a lot of former friends show up under the "Lovely person who WANTS to help" category in other people's minds.

Reality doesn't always match up.

ETA: Sometimes it does match up, of course. But not always.

 

[sun seeker]

It seems like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Asking for help is wrong, not asking for help is wrong; sharing too much is wrong, sharing too little is wrong...

I think really, it's being too hurt that is wrong. People think they can handle that. Then reality hits.

I'd stay away from myself too, if I had the chance. But I don't.