How do you work on shame?


I think shame grows when perspective and support are lost, or the ability to accept support or care. And also a harsh Inner Critic or self-rejection. I also think it decreases more quickly or at all with outside support than inside efforts.


I know the definitions. I was looking for your perspective *because* it differed from my own. But somehow you continue to be very passive aggressive when I speak to you so I'm gonna put you on ignore instead and yknow f*ck it. Embrace my ban 👍 because maybe one day you'll look at how you treat people and realise you're not always the victim
@ Chris-duck You know, the crazy people in my life used that phrase "you're not always the victim" or "don't play the victim" when in fact, I wasn't-they used it when they were abusing me and I was having an emotional reaction to their abuse. When I talked to my therapist about being trashed with that phrase.....she said it was a phrase that helped to continue to abuse cycle....and to put the attention on the abuser as being sane, and discrediting everything the "victim" had to say.
According to Brenè Brown there’s no such thing as helpful shame. Guilt yes, not shame. And apparently the distinction does matter idk! I’m not a massive fan of all her stuff but I feel like she knows what’s she’s about with shame. Well I mean she has been studying it for years.

I read some of her books she’s always trying to get you to get the next one but a lot of it is repeating it self. Although there’s new stuff in each. I honestly can’t remember the one I liked the best to recommend. I read power of vulnerability, gifts of imperfection, and daring greatly. It is a little more geared towards people who are just a wee bit struggly not people incapacitated by bad time brains.

She had that ted talk that went viral. I liked the books had a couple of near breakdowns while listening to it on my commute (before my bad time brain incapacitated me… again!
Hurts real good if you know what I mean.
Brene Brown has either a Netflix or Prime show that was really great. I think one video is much better than reading a book.....and I've read a couple.


@TruthSeeker As much as I understand your view from solely this interaction as me being abrasive, and I understand that the phrase triggers you. And as I acknowledged, I was angry and out of line. But saying that.. "you're acting like a victim" could be an abusive statement, but also, throwing the first punch then acting hurt when someone hits back is also an abusive behaviour. I did not claim my own sanity (hah), or discredit anything anybody said in this thread. I do find your comment both offensive and ill informed. But that's really not a thing that I care about, in the grand scheme of things. So yeah, you do you, I'll do me.