I do not do well spending a lot of time with one person, especially when I don't have a car to get breaks. That being said, I just spent the weekend with my mother while dog sitting at my brother's house. All weekend I heard her talk about him and how great he is and everything he does well. Any time I had anything to say about myself, she cut me off and started talking about something unrelated to what I was saying therefore not interested in me. This is nothing new but I've always had the ability to leave when I wanted to. I mentioned kayaking and she made excuses why not to. So we simply sat around. My weekends are precious and time for me to decompress from working all week. As she gloated about him, all I could think about is wondering if she ever talks highly of me to her friends. She was obsessed about the race he was in and how he was doing. It was exhausting and I'm the kind of person who needs alone time. So now the weekend comes to a close I get home and my husband now demands my attention and I have nothing to give. Instead he tells me I should've spoken up which I tried doing but she'd blow me off and go back to my brother. I'm not in a good mood and just want to be left alone and he takes it personally all while knowing this is who I am. So it's created arguments with him and I'm pissed off. I feel guilty for feeling this way but I've always been like this so instead of letting me decompress, he's made it worse. Does anyone else feel this shitty yet guilty at the same time? Moving forward I will continue to not make plans with anyone unless I have my own car allowing me to have the freedom to take breaks to recharge. I'm judging myself for many things and wish I was different and that clearly doesn't help either. I just feel like I lost my weekend and really just piss everyone off. I just want to know if other people feel this way since I also don't have any friends.
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How it feels to spend an entire weekend with someone who doesn't listen to me
- Post starter Punky143
- Start date
Friday
Sponsor
Very much!
WinnieThePoohChris
Silver Member
Yes! Almost the same this weekend for me! 
If people know, they know, dont think that's you or that you should feel guilty.
If people know, they know, dont think that's you or that you should feel guilty.
- Post starter
- #4
I agreeYes! Almost the same this weekend for me!
If people know, they know, dont think that's you or that you should feel guilty.
Yes! Almost the same this weekend for me!
If people know, they know, dont think that's you or that you should feel guilty.
If people know, they know, dont think that's you or that you should feel guilty.- well said because unless you experience it, I don't think anyone would understand. I'm drained, have no patience and no desire to try because I have nothing to give. That is everyone besides my daughter. Thank you for your kind words
Lost in the Woods
Diamond Member
Yes and take it easy on yourself.
Movingforward10
VIP Member
Oh 
!
Which is why I barely see my mother anymore.
It is draining being around someone who takes space , whether they are given it or not, and has zero ability to read the room or any care about the other person. You don't matter. Putting up with that takes energy, head space, heart ache etc etc etc.
Of course you are exhausted.
But also, of course your husband wants your attention when you get home. No doubt he has missed you, has things he wants to share. But you're exhausted. So understandable that is then a challenge for you both. A resolveable one though.
I no longer spend more than 1-2 hours in my mother's company and that's about 1-3 times a year. That is much better. Less draining.
I also put in boundaries. I tell her "unless you're able to treat me differently, this is the level of relationship I will have with you". She doesn't get it. And she will never change. But it helps me to express myself. When she talks about everyone else, and cuts me up from saying something, I now say "this is an example of what I have spoken about".
Can you find ways to express what you need to her? Not with the hope that she will change but with the feelings that come with expressing your truth?
!Which is why I barely see my mother anymore.
It is draining being around someone who takes space , whether they are given it or not, and has zero ability to read the room or any care about the other person. You don't matter. Putting up with that takes energy, head space, heart ache etc etc etc.
Of course you are exhausted.
But also, of course your husband wants your attention when you get home. No doubt he has missed you, has things he wants to share. But you're exhausted. So understandable that is then a challenge for you both. A resolveable one though.
I no longer spend more than 1-2 hours in my mother's company and that's about 1-3 times a year. That is much better. Less draining.
I also put in boundaries. I tell her "unless you're able to treat me differently, this is the level of relationship I will have with you". She doesn't get it. And she will never change. But it helps me to express myself. When she talks about everyone else, and cuts me up from saying something, I now say "this is an example of what I have spoken about".
Can you find ways to express what you need to her? Not with the hope that she will change but with the feelings that come with expressing your truth?
HomelessJoe
Bronze Member
I don't talk to my family for similar reasons. It's depressing to be a afterthought or not one at all. Last Easter I felt like a unwelcome intruder. My family talked about people like me being unacceptable all weekend. Heard my whole family just sit around a agree that homeless people don't deserve to sleep... It doesn't help me sleep lol. I say f*ck those people. Live your life and if that isn't good enough. Then don't involve them in your life. I refused to ride in the car with my family. My father wanted to carpool together. So I understand that trapped feeling. I'm sorry you understand it too. Family is supposed to love you unconditionally. When they spend all their time praising others it makes you feel shunned. I hope you find some comfort in knowing your not alone. Alot of us have been there. A lot of us are there right now. Your special to us. Kayaking sounds great to me. Sounds like a opportunity for mother to have a story about you. I'm sorry she didn't take that opportunity.
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