How Long Does It Take??

[ladee]

How long does it take, to take a few minutes each day, to welcome the newcomer??? For me, that was a very important thing to help me feel comfortable joining a group of people who had known each other for years. Just askin'.

 

[Friday]

An eternity.

As in, never gonna happen ;)

 

[ladee]

Eighty five views and no comments..... such a simple question.

 

[EveHarrington]

To welcome? I try to say welcome in all the new intro posts. I know how it sucks to feel left out. (That's why I am afraid to venture into chat again. Everyone knows each other and doesn't want anything to do with the new person. I should be over it by now but it still hurts!) Hard to makes friends in the real world, just as hard online.

 

[anonymous]

such a simple question.

Feels like quite a loaded question to me.

Assuming that you mean here on the forum? Is it a literal question, as in you would like people to time how long it takes them to post a welcome response to new members, or is it not actually a question at all but more an expression of your displeasure that not enough people, in your opinion, are taking the time to welcome new members? If it's the second, why not just say so?

I am genuinely confused as to the point of the thread to be honest, especially given that there have already been other threads very recently where peoples views on welcoming practises have been discussed.

 

[EveHarrington]

Why is anon used so often when a reply may be non-fuzzy in the least? It seems to me to be an avoidance tactic. I think that if you have something to say but can't say it as yourself (i.e. When disagreeing with another) then it's not so good to hide as anon and maybe you should post as yourself to show that the whole world isn't going to hate you for not being 100% agreeable 24/7.

 

[digger]

Why is anon used so often

Hah! On this occasion it's because I have thumbs that are too big for the screen, or a screen that's too small for my thumbs, and end up checking the anonymous box far more regularly than I actually intend to because it too close to both my on-screen keyboard and the post reply box! :D

*happily not always fuzzy* ;)

 

[Friday]

Just to expand a bit on my original answer... I view online communities like this one very much like a chorus. There are the singers (both soloists & chorus); there is the orchestra; there is the conductor; there is the score; there is the crew working behind the scenes; & there is the audience. Each and every single part is valuable, necessary, & creates the experience itself.

We have both short & longtime members who rarely or never post, along with thousands reading, each and every single day. Audience. We have soloists, writing articles. We of the chorus, posting threads or responding to threads (some people rarely if ever post, but respond often; other people respond often but rarely if ever start threads). Et cetera. In a big way. There are roles suitable to each, and roles can be shifted around a great deal, by personal preference.

Knowing myself, I will never -ever- be part of the daily welcoming group. That's not something i can do even when not symptomatic, much less when I'm doing badly. I fit elsewhere, in the community.

That said, (I looked it up) I've posted over 400 times in the introduction forum (that's less than 10% of what I "do" here, aka it's a very small part of my role in the community). Some of those have taken a great deal of time and energy -often the shortest ones, when a bare nod is the absolute most I'm capable of the moment. Do I post to every introduction? Hell no. Do some people? Very nearly, yes. Others, meanwhile, only post to intros where the trauma is similar. Or if it's a supporter/sufferer/undiagnosed/etc. Or, or, or. Just like some people only post in certain forums, or only write in chat, or, or, or.

Different roles. We each choose our own. Each is valuable.

 

[ladee]

@anonymous, it was a simple question, no agenda, and I won't play a semantics game here. And there are many threads here about the same thing....
@Friday Jones, I agree with the 'production' idea... I know we all play our own roll here. But it is ok for me to hope that more people become involved.... There are so many of us here, and I understand your reasons... not a problem. I am transferring my own feelings of being welcomed and how it enabled me to become involved sooner... that's all this was about... but thank you for sharing you take on it.... appreciate it.

 

[RavenGirl]

I try to post as often as I can. Being I work full time, have a family, and cook EVERY meal completely from scratch, etc... it doesn't leave me a lot of free time and lord knows I also need some ME time. ;):)

 

[The Albatross]

While I respect that some feel called to welcome, I'm a bit like Friday. I participate how/when/as I am able... in the way that I am able. I already extend myself to peers in other ways and in my view, would be doing myself and them a disservice if I shifted the "finite amount of time/concentration" that it takes to something else.

There's been a whole spate of welcoming participation with members stepping up. Personally I would have been quite alarmed should I have had a number of responses when I first came here... I would have gut clenched, questioned sincerity or authenticity and probably clammed up. I'm not, authentically, a welcome wagon person. When people register and begin to post... if they hang in for a while and I have something to share I do. But that's the way I am in real life.

In real life when employees or managers changed... I don't even bother to remember their names til they've been there for about 6 months. I don't mire myself down with remembering things til then. Just the way I roll.

added in edit: If you are being authentic in your own character and would like to welcome newbies, great.

 

[The Albatross]

P.S. I didn't want to be "love/acceptance bombed" when I got here... I wanted/needed HELP. (And... I did get that... lots of help from people who don't and aren't ever likely to meet me directly... thank you for that.)