How Long Does It Take??

[jaccat]

I debated posting here, but here goes.

I think it's great that so many members have become involved in the welcoming. The reason I am not one of them is because it is something that makes me uncomfortable. I have major trust issues. I struggle to even read posts made by new starters when they first post on the forum. It normally takes me a couple of weeks to become comfortable with a 'new face' on here.

I have welcomed people in the past, but not often, and it took a lot for me to get up the nerve to even post just a few words on those threads. Those posts were normally me challenging myself.

The issue is mine, and mine to deal with. However, I think you need to be careful not to just 'assume' that those that choose not to post welcomes don't have a reason.

 

[Changing4Best]

I welcome one once in awhile and usually when they are highlighted up top of the Forum page, but rarely when I might go to the INTRO section and do so. I don't feel that it is my best kind of response, like I don 't really know what to say. I am better at answering questions and that kind of thing than welcoming folks. I feel awkward doing welcoming. I feel like I am all thumbs at it.

 

[ladee]

@jaccat, I never 'assumed' anything, I simply asked a question. Just as everyone here does, to get a feel for something that I don't always understand. I needed to read what people have shared. My question was answered.

 

[Ronin]

I'm fine with welcoming, because to me it reads as a casual 'hi', I can do casual hi's in a limited amount even on bad days.

Though relating to other people' trust and spoons and not-my-chai reasons, respectively. Personally bit wary of anything being a codified action, in informal settings. I don't like crowds acting in synchronicity. Much better with people using their reason and acting by that reason, safer that way.

 

[mary1979]

I think most sufferers go through periods of withdrawal, where they can only think of themselves and their needs, and periods of distraction, where the last thing they w

 

[mary1979]

And again. That's it, I'm paying for membership ahaha

So as I was saying, periods where they will focus on others or anything to avoid themselves.

Its in the distraction phase that they will be more likely to welcome others and think of their needs.


When.i arrived I didn't expect a parade or show of solidarity, but the responses i received where just like that, and i appreciated it.

I also see some getting offended when posts are ignored or dont get attention they require.
People would do well to remember that everyone has their own stuff going on, and its best not to over personalise.

We all do what we can x

 

[Recovery4Me]

I really enjoyed reading the responses. I love the personalities that float within each post and often smile as my familiarity grows with each member. (((hugs)))

It is really, not always about time allocation when we elect to give. I have opted out of many 'causes' as they did not float my boat nor speak to me in the moment. I didn't do PTA stuff for example. I chose instead to spend direct time with the kids in activities. However, I did get a lot of flack from those invested Moms for not baking cookies or such. My thing was to buy the cookies and give them to the poorer children (much to their delight). pssst...I did it in college for my students too during bake sales! lol

So, perhaps it is good to remember that some people march to a different drummer and those perhaps with PTSD at times might shy away from the loud noise. Tolerance, community and freedom fosters beautiful things to emerge. Sometimes if fortunate...innovations, ideas and compassion in different styles can take place during those times.

Thanks for reading...

 

[joeylittle]

But it is ok for me to hope that more people become involved....

Of course - it's OK to hope anything. I hope that more people will decide to become regular small-gift donors. But the fact is: some people can't. And I'm totally OK with that. Some people can't write welcomes. Some people can't post. I think the only requirement on a mental healt forum is to do your best to meet people where they are.

It's always OK to ask. And people are allowed to say no. It doesn't make them wrong, or bad, or even 'having a hard time', necessarily. I think the welcoming is great. I'm not sure what you are seeing that is lacking. I'm thrilled that responses in the introduction section are also doing well, and that more new members are posting in there to begin with.

I am transferring my own feelings of being welcomed and how it enabled me to become involved sooner... that's all this was about

And that's cool. I think it's great that you are paying it forward. I could be really nuts, but it doesn't look broken to me right now, it looks pretty nice (and I'm still grateful to @Ms Spock for getting the profile page welcomes organized to begin with)

Not trying to shut this conversation down - just offering my two cents.

 

[seedling]

a group of people who had known each other for years

I felt this way when I joined but I see it much differently now.
Maybe it's because I've been here "for years" now and still feel some of the same insecurity I did when I joined!
So, I see this as a cognitive distortion - how we see the group from the outside when we are new. A fear to be overcome when joining.

I was away for about two years and then became active again. When I returned things were different, new people all over again.
Now some of the people from my first and second acquaintances are gone and some are still here. Some I see every now and then.
The mix is always changing.
It's up to me to be involved at my comfort level with whoever is on and whatever topic I seem drawn to or happen to see in the time I have.

I do welcome new people when I see their post in the new post list. Sometimes I think that's safer for me than starting my own posts or getting involved in deeper issue posts!

Welcome to all who come here for help. It's been a life saver for me!

 

[ladee]

I absolutely appreciate each person that posted... I am one that will ask when I don't understand... now I do... I hope it didn't come across as shaming. That was certainly never my intention.... but thanks again for all the posts... I appreciate that each of you took the time to help me understand.... :hug:

 

[Recovery4Me]

@ladee (((hugs))) You had a feeling and a need to know. I am proud of you that you took time to express yourself. You made a strong move in asking what was on your mind. Some members can not ask a question without concerns on the outside. So it is good to have a voice among an compassionate community. Thank you for speaking out which indirectly may offer permission on one level for others to do the same.

 

[EmmaOwl]

take a few minutes each day, to welcome

Hi Ladee! :)
I know my account says I've been a member for a long time but I've only recently started actively posting.
That being said... There are times when I disappear for weeks and don't necessarily have the opportunity to tell people this. So I don't want people to count on my being there, you know? And I think that makes me hesitate more in the "chattier" threads. I worry about being maybe TOO friendly - I might post an awful lot...as I have been the past couple of days...but then sometimes I randomly disappear without warning, and I don't want to hurt anyone in that way.

*Also I used to write for a living and I cringe when I edit my own words poorly! As I have done right here - said the same thing twice. Sorry :(