How long until you ask for help?

[Esterio]

Doing history I went through several 90 minute sessions preparing for EMDR. The last 10 or 15 minutes were spent putting everything away so that I could recover to leave and get home. The first days after each session were hard everything was at the surface waiting to come out. It was hard to live with but I did by coming here for support.

 

[Stephernovas]

My therapist has commented that I am really good at making it look like I have my sh*t together. It's funny because I even confuse myself a lot of the time of whether I am actually not doing well, or if this is something I can handle on my own. I've always been invalidated and taught to diminish my distress or concerns so it usually takes a chaotic meltdown before someone notices I need help. *Note that I still won't ask for help, even though I'm crashing? In the past, when I tried to reach out for help, the vulnerability were another spot for the abuse to hit me much more sharply. You think you're doing well by inviting someone in and extending an olive branch, but SURPRISE! more trauma! In fact, I'm so confused over everything right now, I'm trying to understand what 'being okay' would feel like. Have I experienced that yet? Who knows. This is pretty hypocritical of me, but I'd probably try to use a skill or two first to calm down. If it truthfully doesn't work, you can msg your therapist outlining what's going on, what you've tried and that it's not working. If he offered to get you in, that means he expects it to be too much. That's where you are in your recovery, and that's okay.

 

[MrMoonlight]

My therapist at the end of every emdr or tough session has me meditate for the last ten minutes. This works well for me as I have done work on a safe place visualization with her. It always helps but more often than not I sin in my car after these sessions for up to 45 min calming my system before driving my car. Usually I go to my safe place with the full car air conditioning going giving me coolness and white noise.

After returning home it takes me another full day of bed and netflix to get things going again.

 

[piratelady]

I've always been invalidated and taught to diminish my distress or concerns so it usually takes a chaotic meltdown before someone notices I need help. *Note that I still won't ask for help, even though I'm crashing?

It's been the same way for me. Many years ago I tried to commit suicide. We talked about that in my appointment too (among the many other bad things). I remember telling him no one knew I was even depressed. I never asked for help or anything. Part of me wishes I was still that good at hiding everything and appearing to be ok. I'm not doing that bad now, and my therapist reminded me yesterday that I've grown a lot. I think that's true. I won't let it get that bad again without taking the risk of asking for help from someone.

but I'd probably try to use a skill or two first to calm down.

I did the best I could for the night and then gave up. I'm going back in on Monday. I am a lot more calm than I was on Thursday night. But I think it's more lack of energy due to insomnia. But, I'll take it.

 

[Stephernovas]

I’m angry that I had to pretend for so long, and that some people now are trying to encourage me to “let it go” because it’s “in the past”. It’s exceptionally harder when the person saying it is genuinely trying to be a good support for you. It’s not my choice to keep myself in distress. It is so freaking hard to manage even the littlest of sanity. So when they ask “why is it so hard for you to ask for help?” Well....let me count the ways..

 

[katz]

I just had therapy. He was trying to get a more comprehensive social history before we dive into pro...

Has he taught you any grounding techniques? When you see him next time, maybe the first thing to do is to learn some things that you can do to help yourself the next time you're alone or between appointments.

Sometimes a walk helps me, or just go outside and sit. Take a deep breathe and look around you. Notice the sounds and smells. Sometimes this helps me to relax because it takes my attention away from my racing thoughts.

 

[piratelady]

Has he taught you any grounding techniques?

I saw him a few years ago but quit before we dived into the trauma. Now, at the end of each session he normally gives me some coping techniques to remember for afterwards. This time we ran out of time though.

I saw him again on Monday and told him we just covered too much too fast. And in the future I need him to remember to stop me because I'll seem find and won't stop myself. Well, I didn't say it that clearly, but I emailed it to him the next day much more clearly. The appointment on Monday was more typical. We still moved forward covering my ex, but at the end he gave me my usual reminders.

Sometimes a walk helps me, or just go outside and sit. Take a deep breathe and look around you.

I love being outside and find it so relaxing. Our backyard here is amazing and opens up to beautiful scenery. I'll have to remember this next time and be sure to do this. Thank you :)

I am doing a lot better now. We talked through a little bit of my trauma. Although I wasn't receptive to his feedback in the moment, I was after I thought about it for a day or two. I guess I'm just a person who has to mull stuff over.

 

[katz]

I saw him a few years ago but quit before we dived into the trauma. Now, at the end of each session...

I have to do that too. I often have dreams that have to do with remembering my past. It usually takes me a few days to figure out what everything in the dream stands for. I've gone back on previous journal entries and made some sense of things that I wrote before.