How many have/had a mentally ill parent growing up?

[ninja]

Yes, mental illness throughout my family particularly my mother's side. Mostly it is severe Major depression, anxiety, OCD, addiction, probably PTSD in my mom's dad and her mom dealt with some kind of issue.

 

[Fadeaway]

I have reason to believe my mom had PTSD. I don't know if she was ever diagnosed. She also had substance abuse issues and major drug induced hallucinations. She did a lot of LSD, heroin and then meth.

My grandmother didn't have an official diagnosis, but I have had several professionals tell me she is narcissistic. She met with one of my T several times in the past to try and convince him she was right about me being the problem and he told me it was her not me.

My grandfather had R.A.D. OCD and G.A.

 

[ladee]

The sperm donor was a Narcissistic, pedophile, and emotionally unavailable for anyone. My mom, I will always believe she had PTSD, I know more about my moms childhood than his...she was depressed, anxious, quick to anger, and very dependent on him... tho he always , always let her down... I was the 'marriage counselor' as long as I can remember...

 

[foreveralone2099]

Mum was bipolar
Dad was academic aspergers

Is this a pattern? Number three chiming in.

 

[Still Standing]

My Dad was very difficult and imbalanced, to be around. I have a feeling people pushed themselves to t...

Well said, Blueseas. Actually all of you shared things that fit into the picture of living as a child with a mentally ill parent. Very tough. And it seems resilience is a key factor in how the residuals of childhood affect our adulthood. Some go on to coping quite well through life and others not so much. I thought that I was one who faired well in living above the abuses...at least I knew I could hide things and act normal. It was a shock to have things boomerang on me in my latter years. However, having been in therapy for about 6 months now, is sure explaining a lot to me as to why I think, react, and live my life. I knew that many things deeply affected me, but I thought I hid them very well; My delusion. As with many of you, my parents were both abused in childhood with my mother being abused worst. And on my mom's side of the family, some were also mentally ill. So, growing up, it was common place to know of family members being "nuts". It's just how things were. No big deal...so what, if someone was 'nuts'. You just lived around them. It's sorta with a sense of dark humor, that I can look back and laugh over how my mom, her sisters, and her mother used to accuse each other of being mentally ill. And when that wore out, I got mom's accusations for the same. In the end, it was only mom and her mom who were mentally challenged. But separating out the sane from the insane, in my family, could get comical. And I do agree that there was an understanding the you simply bucked up and put on a good face. My parents were the generation that went through the Depression and were WWII participants and their generation was very much into giving the appearance that all was well on the home front. We were raised with the "put up or shut up" attitude. Public weakness was not to be seen. I suppose, I can be thankful that there is help today, whereas with my folks, not so much. There was such a heavy stigma to seeing a psychiatrist, post war, that it was a deterrent to those who really needed help. It has not been many years that that stigma is no longer an issue, I think. So in a way, we are blessed to not have to carry that extra load of being socially ostracized as the older generations would have been. It is difficult enough, as it is. Thank you for being brave enough to share. It is not easy to always be forthcoming. And we can all hope for a better future, as we work at becoming more healthy inspite of our bruised minds. You all deserve a high-five for the gigantic effort put forth in healing up some of the wounds you carry.

 

[katiem]

My mother was bipolar and my father had an anxiety disorder which he self medicated with illegal drugs.. My older brother was mentally ill but undiagnosed. Growing up with parents and a brother who were unpredictable, neglectful and sometimes violent has caused me to always be waiting for something bad to happen, never trusting people, never trusting my own instincts about people, feeling numb, or angry, or hurt for "no reason" and difficulty feeling positive about myself or the future. I feel like I have ptsd hard wired into my brain. It isn't about blaming them, it is about understanding why I think and feel the way I do and then learning (trying) to make healthier choices.

 

[freebird]

My mother dearest refuses to be wrong, and gets power and satisfaction from hurting everyone. She must have NPD. Because of course she isn't mentally ill. She's always right.

 

[Deleted member 41765]

My father, a Vietnam vet, had ptsd. Oh, but my mother NPD, did ALL of the damage.

 

[Mee]

I am beginning to wonder if any one is normal :).

It’s just how it is. My therapist is pointing out that while my parents had stuff and hard lives it meant some things I faced were not addressed or underaddressed including by me because by comparison they were not that bad. I still quite strongly feel this but its also good to have some space to talk about the stuff that shaped me. :)

 

[lostnconfused]

Gosh, yes. I don't exactly know which personality disorder my parents have, because they've never gone to the hospital for it, but reading therapists' articles that explain what it's like for children to live with parents who have Narcissistic Personality Disorder--it sounded as though they were describing what my childhood was like. So, I feel that's at least one of their symptoms.

But I feel there might be another symptom: because my father's behavior, sometimes, wasn't as worse as my mother's, where she always seemed to be more moody or to lose control than him.

Does anyone know whether past nail marks received on their shoulder, where it was bruised and discolored for weeks, due to their abuser, are commonly seen as imprints when waking up from sleep? I'm kind of surprised and worried to see them every time I wake from sleep because I used to receive marks like that throughout my childhood, but the marks always healed and never showed up, afterward. Although the imprinted marks always disappear once I'm awake and standing up, going about my day, every morning, I look, and there suddenly, there, again, a constant reminder of being abused there.

Ugh. I can't believe I misspelled a word. I'm sorry about that.

It should read, "...every morning I look, and they're suddenly there, again..."

 

[DogwoodTree]

Mom was dx'd with multiple personality disorder back in the 90's after I left for college. She supposedly recovered from that while seeing a therapist who got his degree through a mail-order college degree program (bachelor's, master's, and phd all from the same mail-order school...this was before the internet). He kept almost zero boundaries with her, though, even letting her move into the house next door to him, and just the two of them going on trips overseas even though he was married. Over the past couple of years, my Ts have suggested that my mom continues to show both borderline and narcissistic traits, possibly even still DID traits.

If my dad was ever dx'd, I don't know about it. I do know he was frequently suicidal while I was growing up. He mentioned it to me a few times when I was a kid to try to get me to feel sorry for him. He could never hold a job for very long because, as a high school teacher, he was regularly accused of molesting students. I suspect he has asperger's, and my sisters and I all thought at one time or another that he's a sociopath.

His wife (my step-mom) showed clear signs of histrionic disorder. She would fall apart over the littlest stressors.

My step-dad was likely a psychopath. He led a cult-like church group when my parents first met him. I watched him exhibit bizarre behavior so many times during the 5 years he lived with us. He seemed to have absolute zero empathy for people and enjoyed torturing people. He had absolutely no sense of guilt or shame, ever, for anything, and was highly manipulative, controlling, and unpredictable.

Dad was academic aspergers

What's "academic aspergers"? I know what asperger's is, but never heard of an "academic" variety.

 

[Teasel]

There isn' an academic variety. He was aspergers and he was academic. I was merely copting the phrasing of the post before mine.