How Many Of You Have Triggered By Robin Williams Death

[munkinmama]

I am still in shock and disbelief. Hearing of Robin Williams' death was hard but to hear the details has been a huge trigger for me. I have become obsessed on finding more details. I check for new details many times a day. I know the way he died has hit home for me harder then I thought it would but I soon realized his death for me symbolized what could have happened to me.I had a suicide attempt 10 years ago. I had a hard blow in court a judge said my abusive ex husband was to have full custody of the kids and i was to have supervised visits.This was after he told the courts lies about me having an affair and being abusive to animals. A couple days later i was in a dark place like Robin Williams I sought help and the people i called were not home. At the time there was no mobile crisis unit. I had called 8 family and friends but no one was home. My roommates were not home either so i was left alone to my thoughts. My meds were there I did take them and it was a months worth of my meds but soon realized it was a mistake. i called 911. I was rushed to hospital and soon fell into a coma. The Dr told my mom and brother if I had waited 10 more mins I would not be here. I was in a coma for 4 days .

To here that Robin Williams was trying to get help and could not find any in the moment he was struggling. Yes he was going to go back to treatment but that did not help him. His struggle showed me and I hope the world it does not matter who you are Mental Illness can target anyone and sometimes help is just not there. It is ironic when someone is not doing well mentally most will say go seek help but sometimes those services are not available. It make me mad when I hear people saying Robin Williams or anyone for that matter is a coward for attempting suicide. When you are in a dark place you are not rationally thinking. For me I was feeling humiliated, re victimized by the courts and my ex husband I just wanted the pain to stop and I felt defeated by the system.

I have a hard time with Halloween because that was the time of year I had my attempt. Anything to with death triggers me so bad. Somethings worse then others.

Has anyone else being effected like I was by the death of Robin Williams?

 

[J_trustno1]

OMG, I have been feeling the same for Robin Williams death. I was very upset on the day I heard the news. I was crying and could actually feel what he could've been through. I was upset for two days in a row about his death. I have been searching into more detail about how he died, what was his reason (i.e. past trauma? etc). The reason for me being obsessed over his death is because I was in the same spot as him last year. I used to visit the bridge near my university and wanted to jump off the bridge with cars flowing underneath leaving me no way out. That's how bad I was last year. And as soon as I heard about his death I felt very sad. It is true that name, fame, money, or family or being at the top of the world cannot make you happy or fulfill you emptiness. I was NOT happy with myself last year and still struggling to grasp so many concepts. But I pity the society for not really understanding what depression or any mental illness can do to a person. I have been suffering from depression since I was 16 (that's when i was first diagnosed) and it'll be 11 years this year. I really hope the world starts understanding what it is like to be sad, upset, miserable, having crying spells, anger or what all that mixed baggage of emotions is about. It's like you are being chained by your own past. I really HATE it when some morons tells you to " get over it" or you're "TOO SENSITIVE"!!

 

[littlelostchild]

I have also been effected. When I heard that he had taken his life by hanging himself, I was shocked because that was how I had planned to end my life two years ago, but I reached out for help. He has been a favourite actor and comedian of mine since I was young. I used to own his records of comedy sketches back in the day and thought he was amazing in Dead Poet's Society and Good Will Hunting.

I was saddened to hear a couple of celebrities comment either that he was a coward or selfish for taking his life. It really shows the level of ignorance about mental illness in the general public. When I have been at my darkest in my life and suicidal, it has not been cowardice or selfishness, but desperation and pain driving my thinking.

It is my hope that out of this incredibly sad situation deeper dialogue will occur. Not just the "oh too bad, anybody can have mental illness", but the "here's what it's really like when you are deeply depressed, here are the signs to look for in a loved one, here are some of the causes of depression and mental illness, etc.". I have noticed that some of this is happening and I hope it leads to less stigmatization and greater understanding.

 

[Go Hungry]

I've been avoiding the news of his death as much as possible. I really really wish the media would stop talking about it, that people would stop posting about it on facebook. I'm not sure why, as I really dig the guy and really care about mental health issues in general. I think that it's just too much for me to process at this time. I definitely agree that it would be nice if society started a proper dialogue about mental illness, and if some of the stigma would lift. I've always hated how people would say that it's cowardly to feel suicidal.

I've never felt that anyone would ever even consider it unless they feel completely trapped and powerless. I don't see it as cowardly at all, just an extremely maladaptive attempt to reassert some control over their lives. I'm thankful that I've always found some way of exerting that control, even if it meant taking extreme measures; like burning bridges and destroying unhealthy relationships. (Though I'm a lot more gentle now than I used to be.) Sometimes I regret some of the things I've done to escape suicide, but at least I'm still alive...

 

[Chosen]

I wouldn't say triggered, but I am deeply saddened by it. The whole thing. I love Robin Williams; he wasn't 'just an actor.' He reached so many people's hearts, and it breaks mine that he went through so much pain.

I also have to say that there are some incredibly stupid people out there with what they've posted in the wake of Williams' untimely death.

 

[Underdog]

I wasn't his biggest fan, but I truly appreciate him regardless. Was surely saddened to hear the news and angered when people were saying negative things and being generally ignorant of the true issue at hand. The Guardian posted an article stating that everyone needs to remember that suicide and depression are not selfish and are truly insulting to those suffering. Honestly, that article truly got me! It made me far more aware that mental health issues are generally invisible and that society can't accept what they can't see (such as someone being in a full-body cast). It truly brought home to me that I can't just tell anyone about my PTSD because I will be stigmatized more than likely. For me, it's one more thing I must hide about myself when I am already suffering and sometimes completely debilitated in silence...

 

[Recovery4Me]

For me, it's one more thing I must hide about myself when I am already suffering and sometimes completely debilitated in silence...

For me, this site ended my silence. It may not be the same for me as broadcasting who I am in public, however, I rarely do that with anything about myself as the world is a busy place with much heartache as well as joy. During this time shared, I found the freedom I ached for within this community which opened a door for deeper healing.

~~~~
When Robin passed our local news channel offered a list for the signs of depression and the National Suicide Hotline number with the on-line Http for the US. In that moment, I felt that his sad event being made public may have indirectly saved another from the same fate. His sad plight has given a shooting-star National Attention Moment to those whom do suffer in silence and did not know where to go. Perhaps he made a difference even in his passing. Rest in peace, dear Robin.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Yes I was triggered not by his duicide, but by his wrist cutting. I have known he suffered from depression and substance abuse. I am a recovering alcoholic with 23 years of sobriety. But I don't have a successful plan for depression. It just is. It has it's way with me. Substance anise makes depression ten times worse. When I read that he had cut I identified with him. He was in tremendous pain, tried to relieve it by cutting but it wasn't enough. It reminds me how careful I need to be. That my self harm is dangerous. His passing broke my heart because he has tried time and again to overcome his depression. It's a lifelong condition. ECT may have helped but losing your memory for him would be too big a risk to take. RIP Robin, your light shone so bright. My favorite movie of his was The Fisher King.

 

[anthony]

To here that Robin Williams was trying to get help and could not find any in the moment he was struggling.

I'm not honestly sold on that statement... he was a man of means and he could have had any help he wanted. He just had to pickup the phone / tell his assistant to get it done.

it does not matter who you are Mental Illness can target anyone and sometimes help is just not there.

This is very true. Mental illness does not discriminate. Rich, poor, ethnicity, it doesn't matter... mental illness is a silent, hidden and deadly killer.

 

[Notsowild]

It has bothered me a lot. I have been getting alot of suicidal thoughts lately. Then when I heard about his suicide it made it worse. If someone like him with his money could not get the help he needed than I felt helpless too. That it was just easier to end it all too.

 

[The Albatross]

No triggering, no particular shock or sadness. It is reality, a grim reality and I considered it a warning.

 

[greenleaf]

He apparently had recently been diagnosed with Parkinson's as well as the long-term depression and anxiety (and who knows what else.) That's a lot of neurotransmitter trouble going on for one person. Very sad, not what he deserved.