How Many Therapist Absences Before It's Too Much?

[theshadowoftheliving]

Just wondering. I know that therapists have conflicts and schedules, but I haven't been able to see mine regularly since before Thanksgiving and the inconsistency is starting to get really hard. I felt like I understood through the holidays, but it's not holidays anymore and she's out of the office for a few weeks again.

How much absence is normal? Where would you draw the line on too much?

 

[Panda Bear]

I think it depends on the type of practice and where they practice. Is it a private T, who works alone? Is it s T in a group practice setting who is able to have other practitioners 'cover' for them. That type of thing.

Do you usually see your T weekly and consistently or are is there often a few weeks between visits, so now it's colliding with your usual weeks?

Personal, I have a private practice therapists, so it's just him. When he takes time off, it's never been more than one week. If it's holidays, he takes a few days in the week of the holiday, BUT, he extends his hours on the few days that he is working, so as to try and get everybody seen that week.

A few months ago, he attend a conference two days of his week, those patients usually scheduled for the days he took off....he had longer hours to fit them if possible.

In the 4yrs I've seen him? He's never cancelled due to sickness or weather. He never goes more than a week off either....I couldn't handle absence, not more than a two week period. So, for me, it's a me go. I'm sorry you haven't been able to get in regularly. Can you bring it up?

 

[digger]

How much absence is normal? Where would you draw the line on too much?

I don't know about normal for different T's - my T does take regular one and two week breaks through the year, but always makes sure I'm aware of them well in advance.

From some of your other posts recently, it sounds like you need more consistent support than that at the moment?

I think you need to raise this with her asap. I don't think the inconsistency will be helping your current situation.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

@Panda Bear I started seeing her twice a week before Thanksgiving, at her insistence (I wanted to just do once a week). Then the holidays happened. She was out for a week in November and two in December. But when she was there - I've only seen her once a week most times. And these appointments have required me changing my schedule to fit hers, as she's only been around one or two days a week. Now she's gone for almost three weeks again. I'm not even sure why - I think I might be more comfortable to know she was at a conference or something instead of just feeling abandoned.

Her practice is large enough that there are other therapists that could theoretically cover for her, but this had not been the case.

@digger I agree, but I can't raise the issue with her because I don't see her for a few more weeks.

I guess I'm feeling avandoned and angry, and I just am not sure if that is me projecting or her being irresponsible and not around.

 

[Kailani]

It sounds very inconsistent if this is back to Thanksgiving. I would ask about the schedule and see if it works for you and if it doesn't after, keep her until you find another one. Best wishes!!!

 

[Chava]

That seems like a lot of inconsistency for you to try to put up with. Does she explain any part of it...like give you heads up, tell you what you can do or how you can contact her (or someone else) if needed, or let you know if she'll be more consistent down the road? I had a hard time with my therapist being out for medical reasons and then for a conference in another country. She let me know where she was at...I didn't need details, but I think basic respect could allow for a very general explanation. Also, she gave me at least a month's warning and also allowed me to e-mail. And now it's been more consistent.

When you see her next I wonder if there is a way to ask if she plans to be gone again in the next few months. Or can you schedule ahead for a few weeks? It's hard to move forward when it feels so inconsistent. And meeting only once a month is not really worth it (in my opinion but also what my therapist suggested when I was afraid my new insurance wouldn't cover my therapy...very seldom contact is not really productive). So I'd suggest finding some kind of way to ask if she knows more about her coming weeks/months and if you can schedule ahead some. It would also be fair to tell her you feel confused and it's hard to know what to expect.

 

[Suzetig]

That does sound quite sketchy to be honest, a lot of time off over a few months. In two years I can count on one hand the number of times mine has had to cancel a session unexpectedly and while she does take 2 week breaks, they're scheduled well in advance and not close together, she also works hard to fit be in if I need to see her more frequently - especially now I'm seeing her ever 2/3 weeks rather than weekly.

Your pattern would drive me nuts and is need to talk to her about it!

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

What's maybe the thing that is making me the maddest is that I've been looking at partial hospital programs and I actually found one that I want to do. I need her to write me a referral to get into the program, as they won't let patients self-refer. When I told her about it when I saw her last she told me that she couldn't do the referall until she returned - meaning, not only would she be gone, but my ability to seek more treatment outside of her is also stalled for three more weeks. I was hoping to move forward with more Intensive care, especially given that she wouldn't be around. But now I can't and I feel even more stuck than before.

 

[Lucycat]

I think you should get clarification from the practice if you can't speak to her directly. Of course she could be unwell, or suffering some personal disaster that is accounting for her absence. However if you need help then you need to know the score. If she is likely to be off for more or longer periods then you need to be able to make contingency plans.

I have not seen my T since the middle of December - but that is my choice.

 

[digger]

Is it worth checking if someone else from the practice could do the referral in her place?

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

@digger I'm not sure. No one else really knows me. It's not something we spoke about.

 

[HappyJock]

That definitely seems like a lot of inconsistency to me. Before Thanksgiving? Wow. Hmmm... Well I think it's important to bring this up with her if it's important to you and you think you work really well with your therapist. I see mine twice a week, every week and she's never been out. Other than for literal breaks where the clinics are closed.