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How much to disclose

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Antidote

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My so recently discussed how our discussions over the years (almost 14) have gone. Where it usually me (intoxicated) saying more than I want and then him pushing for more information
Lately I've noticed myself sharing more because of my child's age. Not what happened to me, just more of how people tended to deal with things
Anyways my SO is asking more questions and noticing more. How much is too much. I asked him and he says he wants to know as much as possible. How much is tOO MUCH
 
are we discussing a teenage son? on my books, that is an important detail. mother is a huge figure in any life. even absentee mothers are a HUGE topic in any adult child commiseration circle. a friend or lover you've known for 14 years is a different subject, entirely in my own thinking.
 
I am completely honest with everyone in our family. They saw the worst of me. I tell my wife and adult kids everything. None of them known about the details of my childhood. They said they knew there was something there but had no details. My wife knew more but not much. With the ptsd diagnosis I had to tell them. I think it gave them a better understanding and it felt very freeing to me.
 
I don’t think any of us can tell you how much to share but there are some techniques to help go in that direction. Basically tell in tiny bits or indirectly and watch closely both their reaction and your own.
 
Your partner?
I wrote some things down and showed that to my partner. I often can't remember what I have told her and what I haven't, as it just evaporates from my head. So I might be talking about something and she's never heard it before.

What do you want to share?
And what is stopping you from sharing?
Or does you partner want to know more than you're comfortable saying?


I think 'too much' for my partner is more about the intensity and frequency of what I say. For example, in the middle of trauma therapy when everything was 'too much' for me and it was all I could think and talk about, it was 'too much' for her. So we agreed that I would check with her that she was ok to have the conversation before I launched into things. As one minute she'd be doing something fun and the next minute I'm coming with trauma. So it was a process of understanding each other and negotiation. Bit of hurt on each side before understanding was achieved.
 
With your partner? Anything and everything.

My husband doesn't want to know all the gory details and I respect that. He always wants to be happy and not think too deeply about things especially if they're sad or negative. So I just tell him basic stuff and more importantly how it affects me and how he can support me.

There's people I go into more detail with because they're willing to engage with me on it. If my husband was one of those people, I'd tell him everything.

If you're talking and your partner is engaging with you and asking questions what's the issue? Is it more about being drunk so you say whatever and you'd prefer to be more in control? Then drink less?
 
Your partner?
I wrote some things down and showed that to my partner. I often can't remember what I have told her and what I haven't, as it just evaporates from my head. So I might be talking about something and she's never heard it before.

What do you want to share?
And what is stopping you from sharing?
Or does you partner want to know more than you're comfortable saying?


I think 'too much' for my partner is more about the intensity and frequency of what I say. For example, in the middle of trauma therapy when everything was 'too much' for me and it was all I could think and talk about, it was 'too much' for her. So we agreed that I would check with her that she was ok to have the conversation before I launched into things. As one minute she'd be doing something fun and the next minute I'm coming with trauma. So it was a process of understanding each other and negotiation. Bit of hurt on each side before understanding was achieved.

It's important to share within your comfort zone. While openness is valuable, overloading yourself or your partner with too much information at once can be overwhelming. It’s okay to set boundaries and take breaks when discussing sensitive topics. You can be honest about what you're ready to share and when, prioritizing your emotional well-being. During my time in college, I was looking for assistance to make writing assignments easier. In my search, I discovered UK Writing, an online platform that had received positive feedback from its users. I decided to give it a try Brilliant Essay Writing Service in the UK! 16%OFF UKWritings.com it turned out to be an excellent experience. UK Writing provides top-notch tutors who deliver high-quality content without relying on AI. They offer writing services for all academic levels and are available 24/7.
Can I ask something?
 
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