Relationship How Successful Can Ptsd Treatment Be?

[Snowangel1225]

I am dating a man who has been treated for combat related PTSD but is not currently taking any medication or getting any therapy.

So far things have been going relatively good with mostly minor bumps along the way and one larger bump...but nothing that couldn't be worked through using communication. I have been fortunate enough not to experience any temper outbursts or isolation beyond a day. There is forgetfulness, disorganization, crazy dreams, days of him feeling down and depressed as well as periods of mania where he is just on the go with bursts of OCD but they are generally short-lived and don't last beyond a few hours to a day. I generally try and talk him through, give him his space or or just stay out of his way until he works it through his system depending on which situation he is in. It helps that I also have my own issues (currently controlled) with OCD, mania and depression so I "get it".

I'm wondering if I should expect something someday? Is it inevitable that there will be a melt-down? Could his PTSD treatment have been successful enough (along with him stopping drinking and exercising) that it is reasonably under control? Or am I just in the honeymoon phase and deluding myself?

 

[amethist]

I would sit back and enjoy the ride Snowangel. If it is as he says that he has it well under control apart from the minor blips, there is no reason to believe that there will be a melt down.

He may still have some issues, but if he did his therapy well, then he will have learnt what to do and when to do it, to get back on a level.

Could his PTSD treatment have been successful enough (along with him stopping drinking and exercising) that it is reasonably under control? Or am I just in the honeymoon phase and deluding myself?

The answer to all of this is yes the treatment may well have been that successful and he worked hard to get to where he is now. Him stopping drinking is a good step to take. We all go through the honeymoon period, but that does not mean the good times wont last, with or without PTSD.

Enjoy the man he is, it sounds like he has come a long way and fought many battles to be who he is today.

 

[kahlan]

Even well maintained ptsd sufferers have bad periods. continued therapy honestly can only help both of you.

Wish you the best and hope this forum helps you as much as it has me :)

(Strictly speaking from personal experience)

 

[BigBear]

Enjoy the man he is, it sounds like he has come a long way

Most importantly, learn who he can be. If something does go wrong, it's well worth remembering who they can be!

Bear

 

[Snowangel1225]

Enjoy the man he is, it sounds like he has come a long way and fought many battles to be who he is today.

Most importantly, learn who he can be. If something does go wrong, it's well worth remembering who they can be!

He is honestly one of the most amazing people I have ever met and I am SO PROUD of what he has done and what he has had to overcome. I know it has been very hard for him but he is doing it and I am here to support him 100%.

Knowing the person that he truly is helped me during the one bad spot we had where he shut himself off to me and pulled away. It was hurtful but I knew that wasn't really him. I had inadvertently done something that he mistook as something his ex used to do and he immediately went into defense mode and isolated himself from me. We were able to talk (actually text because it was easier for him to express his hurt in a less direct fashion) and work our way through it. I knew his response was an over-reaction, but I also knew there had to be a reason for it so I hung in there even though he was pushing me away. Once he realized that I didn't mean to hurt him, we were able to talk about it and it ended up bringing us closer together.

 

[kahlan]

Communication is definitely the key to any relationship and I'm. glad you guys have that :) Seems very similar to me and my N. and its great to see another positive relationship around. It gives others hope that this IS manageable and that even though its hard sometimes the rewards of working at it are amazing.

 

[ashdawn8287]

Just to give you hope. I have come along way. I am almost fully functioning. Be patient healing the soul takes time.

 

[Abstract]

Hi,

Just to give the most positive perspective, I know people who had severe, long term PTSD (two had personality disorders they overcame too) and are now totally symptom free (and for many years now). I don't think there are any givens when it comes to the long term affects and each person is unique. I also think further stressors or trauma are obviously always a concern.

Since he still has some symptoms I hope he continues to work on them.

Remember that PTSD is treatable.

Good for him that he has worked hard and healed so much.

 

[Hashi]

From what you've said here, I'd suggest you cross your bridges when you come to them... if you come to them. Sounds like he's done great, and hopefully if any issues do come up in future he'll be in a place to address them honestly and with good communication with you.

It sounds like both of you have worked hard and have good self-awareness of your issues. I'm not sure what else you could ask for. As long as you feel respected, and that he takes responsibility for himself (allowing for blips) I think it sounds like you have a very healthy relationship. Hopefully you both feel the same, and will continue to do so.

 

[Snowangel1225]

I want to thank all of you for your responses! When I found out about his diagnosis, I set out to learn as much as I could about it to give us the best possible chance of making a go at this relationship. Understandably, most of the posts I read are regarding problems and issues people are facing because, let's face it, that is what this site is really about. But I think it's equally important to see messages of hope. I'm not saying that this road is going to be an easy one, and I fully expect challenges to arise, but it brings me comfort to know that a melt down is not necessarily inevitable (but also not out of the question).

 

[Abstract]

Snowangal,

I have thought that we probably see a sightly skewed perception of the situation when it comes to relationships here and that is normal as the people that are struggling the most and suffering the most are the most likely to be looking for support. A lot of the them also seem to involve untreated PTSD.

It's refreshing to hear about a relationship that works and with someone who has been treated. Thank you for sharing. I hope he continues to go from strength to strength for both of you.

 

[twopenny]

He sounds a lot like my hub. To give some background, hub has probably had PTSD since the early 90s, although it was only diagnosed around 6 or 7 years ago. He has had treatments of various kinds, a few horrid experiences with it along the way, and finally found a therapist he trusted, and who helped him.

It's been a long road, and it was seriously unpleasant for a while, but he's worked unbelievably hard to control things, and he's more or less on top of it. We were worried he was in the middle of a resurgence, but he's talked it over with his doc, and they think it may be 'normal' stress that's causing him the problem. He's asked to be referred for some extra counselling, though, just in case.

We tend to do as you do - wait things out as necessary, and then talk about things that have gone on. Sometimes it takes a couple of days worth of talking to get through it, (in the past it's been known to take several weeks of talking...), but we always have. The key thing we try to do is not to take anything personally, or to hold onto things. It can be easier said than done sometimes, but it works, for us.

Now he's dealing with the fact that I've been diagnosed with PTSD (which I must have had all along, not secondary - from my stuff - and didn't realise). I'm unintentionally giving him an incredibly hard time at the moment (although I'm now on medication, so hopefully things will get a little calmer for a while). But he's taking it all in his stride, and being incredibly understanding and incredibly kind.

I think what you say about having your own 'issues' actually makes a lot of sense. Logically it should make things a lot harder, but in reality, my experience of it is that it makes it easier to not take things to heart - it makes it easier to see that there are reasons that certain things are done or said, and that they may have nothing to do with you. I also think it makes it easier to distinguish between the person and the illness.

Anyway, the short version of all that being, I agree with those who've said that there's no reason to assume that a major meltdown is coming. You deal with things as they turn up - some will be big some will be small - that's not PTSD, that's just life. don't waste the good times waiting for the worst to happen (although I do all the time).