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- #13
Snowangel1225
Silver Member
Now he's dealing with the fact that I've been diagnosed with PTSD (which I must have had all along, not secondary - from my stuff - and didn't realise).... But he's taking it all in his stride, and being incredibly understanding and incredibly kind.
You know, I have long suspected something wasn't quite right with myself but just chalked it up to anxiety and depression (both of which were treated in the past with medication and therapy), but now that I am learning more about PTSD, I wonder if that might have played a role in my life also? There is a history of growing up in a domestic violent household, childhood sexual abuse and violence and poor relationships with abusive, controlling men. I had a couple of incidents of flash backs but didn't understand what they were at the time...I only knew that one little thing set me off in a complete panic. I always just thought I was moody and felt like an outsider and out of touch with myself. It's only been the past couple of years that I have become more and more self aware and forgiving of myself and the mistakes I made.
It helps that I can talk with my L and he understands and supports me. He was also sexually abused as a child so it's something he can relate to. It feels a lot like we are two broken people, but when we are together, we are whole. I have never experienced this kind of love and acceptance before, nor has he.
Thank you for sharing your story, twopenny! It sounds like you and your husband have worked really hard to get where you are and are a great support system for each other. You have another story that gives me hope that L and I can really forge out a future together. :)