How to address your trauma in therapy?

[Chitoshi]

Hi everyone,

I've realized that I've taken a back seat on addressing my trauma in therapy again, and I've shut down my T on talking about things from the past because of how stressed I am about present topics.

My T lets me lead my sessions more and doesn't seem to shape them to coming back around to talking about my trauma.

We tend to talk about whatever I want to talk about, but I think that maybe that I'm using that to avoid talking about it again.

He mentioned the other day that when I said something about a nightmare with a topic unrelated to my trauma that it was instead a "night terror" brought on by my past trauma because I had an unnatural reaction to my nightmare (woke up hysterical and took 10 minutes to calm down with help). I'm kind of unhappy with his analysis of it, so maybe I'm just being resistant and he's letting me avoid it until I get over it, but I'm just not sure. He doesn't agree with me on the nightmare thing, I know for sure.

Has anyone stopped addressing their trauma in therapy to focus on 'in-the-now' stressors, and how do you transition back into working on what put you there in the first place?

Does your T bring it back around and guide the conversation back to it, or let it go?

How do you address this?

 

[joeylittle]

Has anyone stopped addressing their trauma in therapy to focus on 'in-the-now' stressors, and how do you transition back into working on what put you there in the first place?

Yes - I've gone through this transition a few times.

How do you address this?

It's truly an OK way to spend some therapy time. Taking a break from working on the past to shore up how you are doing in the present, that can be really useful and important. It's not only time for you to get support for the here and now (skills, cognitive strategies, etc.) but its a way to continue to build your communication skills with your T.

If/when you start to feel ready to go back to the trauma work, I'd say, just bring it up. Sometimes if I'm worried I'll not bring something up in session I will send it in an email, to ask him to put it on the agenda (so to speak) for our next session.

As much as we wish they were, our therapists will never be mind readers. They can't know what we are thinking unless we find a way to tell them.

I'm kind of unhappy with his analysis of it, so maybe I'm just being resistant and he's letting me avoid it until I get over it, but I'm just not sure. He doesn't agree with me on the nightmare thing, I know for sure.

How would you feel about bringing this up in therapy? Do you think you can challenge yourself to do that?

 

[Freida]

Yep - everything @joeylittle said!

 

[MyWillow]

Yes - I was not coping well with delving into the past. It’s difficult because I don’t have memory of trauma but dissociate at the mere mention of childhood and the most banal things can trigger a flashback. Yuck.

So now we are just dealing with the current stressors in my life....some of which probably relate to the past in terms of disturbing dreams and waves of panic but also dealing with family, setting boundaries with others (I take on too much) and focusing on self care. I think therapy is way more than processing. Without stability processing is just retraumatising.