How To Deal With Living Conditions Forced Upon You

[p-no]

Hi all,

I'll put the question up here, so you can skip the whole story, if you wish:

How do you cope with living in a setting that is forced upon you because you have no money for anything else (e.g. shared apartment, tiny room, in a poor area of town with a lot of crime, etc.)?

Reason I'm asking:

I'm scared. I have been on certified sick leave for about 2.5 months now. In my country, the employer has to continue to pay your salary for six weeks of sick leave, then the health insurance takes over and pays a certain percentage of that. It's a lot less, naturally.

In my case it's too little to keep living where I am. I consciously chose this apartment and am very happy here. Nature is beautiful and my apartment is big enough for me to feel I can breathe and be. It's also big enough to have someone over once in a while, and, contrary to my last one, I can actually walk straight for a couple of meters, which gives me the feeling it is "big" (in the sense that I don't feel as if I were locked into a small cage.
It's in a safe neighborhood and on the rim of the city. All is good.

So, now I got this letter from my health insurance and long story short, the amount of money I get is calculated per work day (public holidays, weekends, etc. not included) and it is way too little to stay here. Just for the record, my apartment is average size and rent, nothing special. When I compare to what others have who work my age, it's cheaper and smaller.

I have to come up with a solution soon, as I have been living on my bank's money for a while now (covering for the amount I've lost by the health insurance taking over) and the next step, once the bank will stop me using the drawing credit, I will not be able to pay my rent and they will be able to have me removed instantly and put out on the street with all my belongings. I have no savings (left) as I have dropped out of work often due to my PTSD and have always had to use savings up to survive.

I have now been looking for the best choice out of options I do not want. I get anxious and panicky with all choices, because most are not even real choices as in "doable" without at least some amount of money around 600 EUR at least (for a deposit for a new tiny apartment). So, what I'm really left with is a shared apartment and it scares sh*t out of me. I grew up that way (from 6 until I was about 13/14) and I have said for many, many years that I can't go back "there". Having someone around me 24/7 sends me into freeze mode, but I have no other choice. Usually there's only a very small deposit if at all. However, rooms are very small, too, and difficult to find. I'm not the most social person on the planet...

How do you do it? Live in a setting you don't want to live in (due to your PTSD, not because you "just don't like it") at all, but have to.

P. S. I put an ad up today looking for a room in a shared apartment... :(

 

[Bilby]

I'm sorry that this is happening, life can be so very cruel sometimes :(

I'm just trying to think of what you can do to ensure that you feel 'safe' in the new environment you will need to live in. I notice that you said that having someone around you 24/7 sends you into freeze mode - would putting a lock on your door in the shared apartment help you feel safer? Sorry if that's not helpful, I'm trying madly to think of what will help in this situation.

Do you have friends or family that you could bunk down with for a little while as opposed to the shared accommodation with people you don't know?

Are there things that you can do during the day (within reason) that would get you out of the shared environment a little bit?

 

[quaintpapercut]

Oh that's really tough. Especially since you like your current apartment so much. I don't have any advice other than take your time while you still have it so you don't feel like you have to take whatever comes up. Visit as many as you can so you can get a good feel for space, location and the person you would be living with. You never know you may find a really lovely place with a great room mate . I hope it works out for you.

 

[safenow]

Why can't you get someone where you are now? Interview as many people as you can. Make sure you get references. I mean, since you will have to be with others anyway, at least you would still have your home. Locks on your private space always help too.

Recently, I've had this same issue. But then I got angry and decided I am staying put. Hell or high water. No one is sending me to a nursing home where I will be treated with disrespect, just because I don't have money to get a good home. I've been getting rid of a lot of my personal belonging so now I feel like I have space to move around.

Anyway, sorry to put my crap in your thread. My thoughts and prayers are with you, prime-no. Bless your heart. I do so hope something good will come of this.

Safenow.

 

[Grace Hope]

I am sorry about your situation.

I was wondering if there was a support or charitable agency that could help you find what you need ?

I live in a situation where I need to leave because of horrid neighbours, damp mould and my disabilities which includes PTSD. Lack of funds and no support unless I am well enough to go out are some of my main issues. Funny thing is I have a " need to know and trust the person in my space " thing and that is often a scary place to be. I have been in this situation for quite a few years and would really love to meet the "sort you out a good place to live right now" fairy as it dose my head in.

Sometimes the wheels of change turn very slowly. We all need a stable environment to live in and our own space when we need it.

Good luck with your living arrangements.