College student EMT
New Here
Hi
I've been working with my University's volunteer ambulance dept for 2 and a half years now and I already have seen the changes in my personality. The biggest change though was from volunteering with the Israeli ambulance dept. for two and half months, 70 hours a week straight. That got to me.
I've realized that I get angry much much easier now, it goes from 1 to 10 in a split second and all I feel is this anger rushing over me that I can't control, even over stupid things. In israel I had a lot of bad calls, calls that I shouldnt have experienced at the age of 19 and put in situations that I shouldnt have been.
For example, I was 6 inches from a member of the Russian mafia for a 20 minute transport with 13 murders on his name in the back of the ambulance (just me and him) because the police were too lazy to come with us. There were a lot of moments like that in Israel, whether it was bomb threats or dealing with the scums of the earth, to having 30 year olds die on you from injuries of fights or whatever.
So the questions I have, is how do you deal with the changes? I can't walk down a street and not envision what I would do if the guy in front of me had a cardiac arrest, or if a friend standing next to a window would be shot what would I do? I can't just be there, I'm always scanning a room making sure everythings OK.
It's a gift and a curse I feel, able to turn off my emotions into emotional detach EMS mode and be able to focus in extremely stressful moments, but it's hard to turn off.
I keep working though on the ambulance, because I can't get that adrenaline rush anywhere else.
Thanks for the help
I've been working with my University's volunteer ambulance dept for 2 and a half years now and I already have seen the changes in my personality. The biggest change though was from volunteering with the Israeli ambulance dept. for two and half months, 70 hours a week straight. That got to me.
I've realized that I get angry much much easier now, it goes from 1 to 10 in a split second and all I feel is this anger rushing over me that I can't control, even over stupid things. In israel I had a lot of bad calls, calls that I shouldnt have experienced at the age of 19 and put in situations that I shouldnt have been.
For example, I was 6 inches from a member of the Russian mafia for a 20 minute transport with 13 murders on his name in the back of the ambulance (just me and him) because the police were too lazy to come with us. There were a lot of moments like that in Israel, whether it was bomb threats or dealing with the scums of the earth, to having 30 year olds die on you from injuries of fights or whatever.
So the questions I have, is how do you deal with the changes? I can't walk down a street and not envision what I would do if the guy in front of me had a cardiac arrest, or if a friend standing next to a window would be shot what would I do? I can't just be there, I'm always scanning a room making sure everythings OK.
It's a gift and a curse I feel, able to turn off my emotions into emotional detach EMS mode and be able to focus in extremely stressful moments, but it's hard to turn off.
I keep working though on the ambulance, because I can't get that adrenaline rush anywhere else.
Thanks for the help
