How to Develop a Feeling of Safety?

[Friday]

Wow @Friday sounds daunting!

Helps to think of it as art, art of living well/weller/ wellest ; rather than work.

I strongly prefer achieving it by way of games, fun, & other sneaky methods.

 

[Tinyflame]

Love all of your post @Friday. Never thought of such a thing(!) Thank you so much!

In all seriousness, may be part of the problem (for me), since my self esteem and confidence is lower than a duck's bottom at high tide!

Crazy thing is, I've always noticed a larger reaction to small threats or upheavals, but the inability to speak up or even react for larger ones. I also find emotional blows knock me out longer than physical ones.

I wish I had better words, but wow. Make it full, fun, meaningful, authentic; change the mindset in the process is what I 'hear' from that. And might be surprised at the results.

Thank you again.

 

[Tinyflame]

I am sorry to add something else, wanting to add as much for myself to see as anything else. But I would like to capitalize onward on the moments I do just feel totally 'ok', get on a trend or a roll as it were.

I do think the pandemic hasn't been helpful with that. Or restrictions and limitations and uncertainty I experience even without it. It was hard right before the pandemic but been barely holding on with fingertips for a long while now.

It would be very nice to be able to get some footing again, and not feel so hopeless, and because that leads to throwing a lot away, too, or giving up.

 

[Rose White]

why a dog there feels like that. You know they are as they seem, are there for you and them, etc, there is physical protection, but it comes first from knowing the emotional connection is solid.

I feel this. I had a big dog by my side all my life until the divorce. I loved their size, I loved that they barked at strangers. I never realized the connection with protection (which was unavailable to me as a child). I lived without a dog for three years, to prove to myself that I could protect myself and depend on others. Now I have a little dog. He still feels protective, must be the dog energy.

not being able to go to bed (reverse procrastination) is helped by moments of self-care

Wow! I never saw the connection before but it makes a ton of sense! Thank his is helpful for me.

Appreciate the thread

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes @OliveJewel . Except our's didn't bark much, or bark back at dogs. i think the opposite- they reacted (in silence) when they gauged a threat (a stranger wouldn't be included unless they walked in uninvited, or once a Shepherd got bad vibes (rightfully so) and 'shoveled' a guy out the door from behind), but they didn't react (only consoled me) if I felt scared and they didn't gauge it as necessary. Mine was my protection in childhood, total confidence in her. She even tried to take on bears twice, to save us. Their hearts and temperaments are beautiful.

 

[Tinyflame]

I was reminded again today of @Friday 's suggestions, thank you so much!!

I meant to come back to this, I suppose good thing I didn't because there was an extra part:

1. First I think safety is a large part my choice (provided it actually is safe). That is, giving trust is active, not passive. Up to me to gauge/ remember if it's warranted. And actually GIVE IT. Like, -for real.

2. My thoughts will tell me I'm not. Or my body, whichever comes 1st. That is, that will influence it. (#1 and in general). #1 is sane and relevant, #2 not necessarily).

That I think I've learned. (Though I say it humbly, for sure.)