How to feel rage in a controlled way?

[ILoveLife]

Cool suggestions guys :D
I went with my T's suggestion - art work. Collage, drawing, photography...
I still get irritated but I'm able to control it.

Been setting boundaries around myself too, I think that helps others not cross innapropriate lines with me and me not feeling so justified in my anger.
I understand it's a valid emotion, but I still struggle with expressing it the right way.

 

[ladee]

And every now and then, we just have to forgive our selves for not doing it the RIGHT way... and move on.

 

[EveHarrington]

I always think of rage as the dictionary defines it, violent and uncontrollable anger.

Do you mean an intense form of anger, but not violent? Because I don’t think that is really “rage” if you kwim.

That is, controlled anger isn’t really “rage” as they contradict each other.

 

[ILoveLife]

You're right Eve, it's not violent. Probably just A LOT of anger.

 

[Deleted member 44579]

Do whatever you need to, to let it out. Punch bag, screaming, running, cycling.. Smashing plates... I personally really like that one... I think rage needs to be ex sponged... Stress and anger are very negative on your body....

 

[Abstract]

Well done Sietz, That is amazing.

Dictionary Def: feel or express violent uncontrollable anger.

If I am understanding you are expressing or processing your feelings of rage in a way that doesn't escalate them and rather deescalates them. Bringing them away from repeated rage. And you are therefore aren't staying in that state in the same way and are going into it less. ? And maybe are expressing your anger more healthily?

If you were expressing your anger inappropriately and are now using assertiveness, acknowledgement, boundaries and self soothing then I can see why it is changing for you. Yay.

We can also feel rage without acting it out .

 

[ILoveLife]

Hi @Abstract :)

I've been having dreams of exploding rage on people that wronged me, more like a dream-like vendetta that I trully hate because I'm not a vengeful person at all, so they're more like nightmares...
I don't wish anyone's harm and it's really bothering me actually.

But, I have been having some irritability mostly due to the new stage that I'm entering in my life and feeling like I'll fail at it and go back to square one. I've put all this pressure on myself to succeed, I just need to relax a bit.

And you are therefore aren't staying in that state in the same way and are going into it less. ? And maybe are expressing your anger more healthily?

Have you heard about the Hula-hoop tool? I highly recommend you research it, it's really good and it's been helping me a lot by deciding what I allow or not allow on my hula hoop.

Thanks :) You're always wonderful.

 

[Abstract]

Hi @Sietz :)
Ah, that sounds totally justified. Vendetta daymares. : ( From what you describe it sounds very unlikely that your rage will descend on those you around you in the way you fear!

Sounds more like you are still struggling accepting anger. Can you really accept the validity of what you are feeling? Anger is about protection and boundaries. One of the reasons assertiveness and boundaries work so well I think. Its great you are finding relief in the creative stuff and these.

It sounds like the obsessive thoughts are in conflict with the way you usually do and see things. In my experience when there is inner conflict from something I either need to change my expectations of myself or change some of my behaviour. Often both a bit.

So your t suggested going into your rage and feeling it rather than letting it seep out indirectly? Is that right?

Using @Swift's word, its contained. Problem is, too much. :alien:

Can you let it out more directly but in portions so that you feel less afraid of being overwhelmed

 

[ILoveLife]

Sounds more like you are still struggling accepting anger.

Yes, this is right. On one hand, I know I'm entitled to feel angry, on the other I'm so afraid of the consequences of that anger that I'm blocking it.

Can you really accept the validity of what you are feeling?

I can - I think ... :P
I figure one of the things I need to do is just sit with it, not run away from those valid emotions. Rationally I know they're valid, but when they arrive I become reactive.

when there is inner conflict from something I either need to change my expectations of myself or change some of my behaviour. Often both a bit.

I get that... I think in my situation I need to let go of the thought that I'm destructive, because it's not true. It's an irrational belief, totally. I'm really not a destructive person, and like we agreed above, my anger is very much valid.

So your t suggested going into your rage and feeling it rather than letting it seep out indirectly? Is that right?

I think she said I need to allow myself to feel feelings other than pain.
She suggested the creative outlet, but I haven't had the time to keep doing that. Need to get back on it.

 

[Abstract]

Totally understand that anger instead of pain thing @Sietz ! Just sounds like you need to trust yourself more, trust in who you are and not be so afraid of your anger! You obviously have no need to be.

I need to let go of the thought that I'm destructive, because it's not true. It's an irrational belief, totally. I'm really not a destructive person, and like we agreed above, my anger is very much valid.

Yay! ??? Normal healthy emotions for you.

 

[ILoveLife]

Just sounds like you need to trust yourself more

Yikes, @Abstract! Do you have an easier assignment for me? :P

Normal healthy emotions for you.

Thanks, I guess they're normal and healthy yeah -- hard to think of things that way for me, but I suppose that's true.

Thank you :hug:

 

[Abstract]

Do you have an easier assignment for me? :p

Good grief @Sietz if only they had a pill for this! I would be right up there thats for sure. ?

You are on track. ??