Little_Big
New Here
Hello
I am new here, only discovered 4 months ago that things I'd normalised and suppressed for probably 18 years were actually symptoms of complex PTSD. Life changing. I've done alot of work with myself and with somatic therapy. But right now I am miserable and want to reach out to people but I don't know how.
That old part of my brain is telling me that people are dangerous and I should stay away and avoid getting triggered. The new healing part of me getting ready to emerge wants to be close and feel supported by those around me. I'm in such a vulnerable state that if I were to feel safe with someone and let them close I'd just flop down and cry and cry and cry. I suppose that's what you can do if you're able to have healthy partnership, feel that closeness and be able to relax for a moment and let someone else support you. I want to. And I don't know who or how to ask for what I need. I've got a skype with my therapist lined up for next week and have already sourced a potential local somatic experiencing therapist but right now I feel so low and can't stop crying.
I just left London and a home environment that was incredibly activating for my symptoms. Where I am now is in the country and much quieter, but there are still people around. My nervous system is hugely activated and I'm working really hard to relax. When I'm not with the people who are here socially I feel excluded (my own making) and isolated. When I am I don't know how to be because it doesn't feel safe to be honest and collapse.
Wanted to share with you all, as this is the first time I've found people with a shared language of experience like me.
I am new here, only discovered 4 months ago that things I'd normalised and suppressed for probably 18 years were actually symptoms of complex PTSD. Life changing. I've done alot of work with myself and with somatic therapy. But right now I am miserable and want to reach out to people but I don't know how.
That old part of my brain is telling me that people are dangerous and I should stay away and avoid getting triggered. The new healing part of me getting ready to emerge wants to be close and feel supported by those around me. I'm in such a vulnerable state that if I were to feel safe with someone and let them close I'd just flop down and cry and cry and cry. I suppose that's what you can do if you're able to have healthy partnership, feel that closeness and be able to relax for a moment and let someone else support you. I want to. And I don't know who or how to ask for what I need. I've got a skype with my therapist lined up for next week and have already sourced a potential local somatic experiencing therapist but right now I feel so low and can't stop crying.
I just left London and a home environment that was incredibly activating for my symptoms. Where I am now is in the country and much quieter, but there are still people around. My nervous system is hugely activated and I'm working really hard to relax. When I'm not with the people who are here socially I feel excluded (my own making) and isolated. When I am I don't know how to be because it doesn't feel safe to be honest and collapse.
Wanted to share with you all, as this is the first time I've found people with a shared language of experience like me.
