General How to mentally heal?

[abandon455]

Correct and not early more like mid.

 

[abandon455]

I don't really get why she contacts me because i don't want to be friends and have said it 100 times and unless it's getting back together which i don't see how dating her would work. when i met her she was going to drop out and didn't really care. she just wanted to be with me and to finish just to say she did. she was nice and cared more about us then anything. but she later on made her career and school more important and stopped being around. she went from fine with stay at home mom to summer long internships being gone the whole summer and telling me if i have kids with her, there going to private school and going to day care soon as the leave time is over. started insulting my major and talking to me like I'm stupid and like her being a scientist allowed her to say complicated or prissy words that basically called me stupid like calling me a buffoon.

i just don't see how it would work unless she decides career isint more important (which i doubt), ontop of how she left and how i was treated the the whole way through. i don't wish bad upon her but she acted like she had no idea why a ex that you ended your soon to be marriage to , you didn't see all summer, told you'd get rid of if it came between career or you and insulted and left after screwing with and blocking on every platform no longer replies and claiming it was a two week break and haveint called or seen or even gotten a i love your how are you doing? in 3 months. would stop texting you after hearing for the 80th time that she doesint want to see, or call you (suprise). She made how she felt very clear and what my place would be or was if i dated her or stayed and i don't like it.

 

[EveHarrington]

You're never going to know why she does anything.

I totally get that your heart is broken.

The best thing that you can do is let go and cut all contact. Staying in contact with her is prolonging your pain and preventing you from moving forward.

I think it's time to accept that she doesn't want to be with you anymore and this is just one big game to her.

 

[abandon455]

yea, i agree i started talking to her after 5 days thinking maybe she learned something from no contact but went right back to threatening to walk or leave and that she just wants to be friends even though the day prior she said she loved and missed me. said if we can't be friend's then we need to go our seperate ways even though i said to contact me when she does actually wants to be apart of my life, which i thought was fair. but now that i'm back to ignoring she's back to why are you not replying to me? i don't really get it, she dumped me blocked me, tells me she doesint want to see or speak to me and hasint been apart of my in 3 months and says i have anger issues and i'm rude and condescending and does not trust me but yet gets upset when i stop replying and if i do she goes right back to fighting, arguing and throwing the past in my face. and only seems to care when i stop replying.

 

[Ronin]

Not sure there is much of a relationship, if youa are just jerking each other around.

That is not even communication, much less trying for building bridges of any sort.

Seriously, leave, stop replying, stop engaging her, walk away from it all.

 

[EveHarrington]

Ok, so here's the deal.

Being friends after a relationship?

I tried this. I told everyone was trying to be friends with my ex. They ALL laughed and said "that never works!"

And really, it doesn't.

You live, you learn.

I had to try it myself before realizing I never want to be friends with an ex.

You may think that you can make it work with her, but as long as one of you even has a single solitary speck of something more than "just friends" while the other just wants to be friends, it will not work. One of you will end up pining away miserably for the other with the hope that you can get back together.

Don't waste your time.

 

[abandon455]

yea, i told her i can't be friends. i can't go from planing a wedding and kids to friends. ontop of the fact she is not nice to me at all, she left me put me through hell and only cares if i don't reply. and i've asked her why she does int date someone else or talk to someone that she actually likes. she goes i want you, i'm just not ready to be with you right now and goes back to mauling me. and the things she says to me makes me cry and she goes so what if i don't want to see or talk to you? i can't and don't trust you and i can't date someone i don't trust. i'm just like how can i earn trust if you won't call or see me? she won't go away but she won't move forward.

 

[EveHarrington]

She "goes away" when you block her EVERYWHERE and ignore her in public.

 

[abandon455]

i've blocked her on social media, i just only have the phone line open. every time i talk to her even just via text i just end up crying and her not caring.

 

[EveHarrington]

Why aren't you blocking her in your phone?

Blocking her on social media was useless if she can still call/text you.

 

[abandon455]

I blocked her it doesint stop calls though. But she refuses to call or vocally speak to me. So i’m not to worried she will call me, she hasint called or vocally talked since june.

 

[EveHarrington]

...you should get an iPhone.