General How to mentally heal?

[abandon455]

I’ll block her if she calls, but i doubt she will or ever try to see me again.

 

[EveHarrington]

Why are you only going to block her IF she calls?

Do you realize that you are allowing this chaos in your life?

At what point do you say enough is enough?

I don’t think you are ready to let go of her yet.

 

[abandon455]

I guess i have a issue with seeing the best in people hoping there still the good people i met or knew. Sometimes i’m afraid to close all doors in case maybe they learn or learn from there mistakes. I don’t hate her but i hate who she is now, i hate the i love and miss you and then i don’t know if we will ever be the same that changes hourly or dailly. It’s hard to pretend the person who was my best friend and talked to 24/7 for two years and two months ago was planing our wedding together, closing that door forever.

 

[Hojay]

When people show you who they are, believe them @abandon455. This isn’t who she is “right now,” this is who she is period. It takes time to really get to know a person and all their facets (which is why I, personally, think it’s bonkers to think about marriage within the first few years.)

There are people who treat those around them with dignity and respect regardless of their life circumstance, history, confusion, or pain. She’s not one of them. The sooner you accept that and let go of keeping this painful dynamic in your life, the more quickly you will heal. I say cut all contact now and heal from this. On your own. Without her input, opinion, or sanction. She doesn’t need to hear that you’re done for you to be done.

 

[abandon455]

Yea, i need to not reply to anything. She’s nice to everyone but me, she says i love you to them and is there for them just not me. She threatens to stop talking to me or to leave all the time almsot everyday. She calls me setting boundries as condescending or talking down to Her. She refuses to call and talk about whatever the issue is and she will only text and her excuse is she “can’t” call or see me and i don’t listen when i bring up doing so or that people don’t talk to or see people there not comfortable with and bases everything on texting even though we haveint seen each other, vocally spoken in 3 months. I just kinda assume most normal people would want to vocally speak to someone to work on something or see them. And being threatened when i set boundries. It’s just very bizarre.

 

[EveHarrington]

She's telling you exactly how things are going to be.....so it's up to you to listen.

Only texting for three months?

You're putting yourself through agony by holding on.

She is never coming back.

THIS is the real her. The person that has emerged after the honeymoon period.

 

[abandon455]

Yes, only texting for three months. She refuses to call or see me because she does not trust me and is not comfortable with that and says she can’t. Alot of the things she says are nonsenseical. She has PTSD and psychosis and she contradicts herself all the time. Like she saying things like, you have anger issues, you twist my words your projecting, but when i say maybe date someone or talk to someone else then, she will go i want to talk to you and stop telling me to see other people. Why can’t you be nice to me? i want to work on things but you won’t let me, i am talking normally and try to your the one who keeps arguing. Stop cussing and threatning me and bringing upthe past her: stop condescending me, why are you so rude can’t you be nice? If you don’t stop talking to me that way i’ll have to walk( never does). Bring up leaveing me or us being done even though she dumped me months ago. It’s all really weird and there’s rare times she talks rationally and normally and the rest is nonsense land.

 

[Pippi427]

I don't think I've ever heard @EveHarrington be more clear. I'm trying to listen to some advice myself right now that is hard to hear. That is where the learning is a lot of times.

 

[LuckiLee]

She sounds cruel . What can you possibly still see in her? She's treating you horribly and you're letting her. Time to move on and find some peace. Stop participating in the craziness and start taking care of yourself. Good luck.

 

[abandon455]

I’m ignoring her, she sends me texts that make me cry and fill me with anexity. She’s constantly threating to walk or leave Or guilt me with shes some evil bitch and maybe she should just leave if thats how i feel because i bring up how her cussing and threats and bringing up the past hurt me. And like i ignored her argument last night to wake up to a text paragraph telling me how were done for the 8th time. I see a text from her and i get fear and anexity because i’m aftaid of whats going to be in it. That’s why i stopped replying. They get me so anexity filled i’ll run back and forth in my house.

 

[grimalkin]

She’s constantly threating to walk or leave Or guilt me

She already HAS left you. She isn't threatening to leave, she HAS LEFT. She's just jerking you along.

Block her texts. Seriously. Almost every carrier has the ability to block texts and calls - you might have to log in to their website, but it can be done.

I know most phones have text preview, so you'll see part of the message, but still. Until you figure out how to block her, try not to even glance at the texts and delete them unread. Change your phone number if you have to.

She is gone. What she is doing to you is not her trying to negotiate, or figure out how to work things out, or figure out how to still have you in her life. She is being cruel, and whether she means to or not, it doesn't matter.

She has already made herself perfectly clear - you are not a valuable part of her life.

 

[abandon455]

i'm looking into how to block her. what she is doing is cruel. she's not in or out she's just emotionally being manipulative and awful. most people leave or stay they don't stay in center and want to keep you around but not really.