How to not explode?

[Lalala]

If you remember me from my intro, I've talked this week a lot with my therapist about my symptoms and concluded I'm between hypoarousal and baseline (as in blocking stuff) most of the time. And I can snap into full blown, and I want to avoid that. Haven't had enough time to talk to her about that. If you have relapsed from okayish phases or went from hypo to hyper how is it like? what kind of shit triggers it? and most importantly how to avoid it?

 

[Ronin]

What do you mean by explode / how do you act when that happens?

Since could be a lot of things for a lot of people.

 

[Sideways]

most importantly how to avoid it?

DBT is essentially an entire therapy based around this exact experience. Doing a course of it, or working through some of the foundational stuff would potentially be incredibly helpful, and something you could work on in the background while continuing to work with your T.

DBT is chock full of skills to 1) see the explosion coming; 2) give you alternatives to exploding; 3) managing the explosion if it occurs; and 4) becoming ace at keeping yourself at baseline as a ‘new normal’.

 

[Lalala]

What do you mean by explode / how do you act when that happens?

Since could be a lot of things for a lot of people.

What I ment is that I have never been in chronic hyperarousal with chronic flashbacks and all that. But in the numb, repressing mode.

I feel dead, depressed, ashamed, or numb whenever related things come up or feel a blocage when trying to think about it, or when triggers come up. Punctured with some days or moments where it's more trad (flashbacks, intense emotional reactions, chronic unfading high tension, panic, loss of control, exc...). I can still live well, it's just when linked.

Now, what I mean by explode is dramatically shift to chronic debilitating hyperarousal (high levels of anxiety, baseline tension, insomnia, you know trad ptsd symptoms). Which is something that usually happens at some time or another for people like me since we are more in repression mode.

What I mean is what kind of trigger can make that shift happen and how to avoid it. I'm scared that's it's going to happen soon since my things are getting worse. My physical memories are since the last few days chronic, persistant and a lot more painful and I'm feeling a whole lot deader. I can't ask my th, she's away.

 

[Ronin]

What I mean is what kind of trigger can make that shift happen and how to avoid it

If I'm getting you right, I'm thinking full stress cup or new trauma would do that just fine, push you over the edge into full symptomatic instead of low key & manageable.

To avoid it, regular self care & bleeding off stress. Easier said than done I know.

The feeling too jittery & emotional swings would be well addressed, as @Sideways said, by DBT, the feeling dead could be depression so you could tackle that with CBT & healthy lifestyle, eventually process the trauma with a kind of exposure therapy to lessen its impact.

 

[grit]

What are the behaviours you may display when you are exploding? I ask that because sometimes it could be just ferling you have inside of you that may be feeling they are outside or you are going crazy but it is a feeling and a lot of times it is a trigger or an implicit memory of feeling dying that you shut off last time. But this time you could alone or with a therapist be compassion to your memory and accept it like you truly survived it then... And now it is a powerful memory you did not finish processing. Just sit relax and imagine what it looked like when you were there scared and stop every few Minto ground yourself. Do this only if you can and are in safe space.

 

[shatter eyes]

Triggers are different for everyone.
I get you being into flat state then BAM alarm bells and sometimes can be raging outbursts.

DBT really helped me along with CBT trauma counselling. DBT has a module on distress tolerance. Staying grounded and engaging your senses.
For me the cold water or ice on wrists and neck works quick to ground me.

Breathing belly 4 seconds in hold out works too!