How To Tell Your Therapist?

[Elphaba]

After much back and forth, I did go to my therapy session today.

And it's not that I actively lie, is that I forget stuff. When asked about my week, I don't mention increased panic attacks, self harm, a lack of ability or will to get my arse out of bed in the morning. I am The Mistress of Shrugging and "Don't knows".

And so it is not addressed. Instead we look at really practical things. Like what can we do to decrease every-day stress. That doesn't feel like a top priority for the at the moment. But I don't talk. I don't talk, I don't talk.

The panic attacks of the week?
I remember them after the session. Only after. T never knows, or at least I never tell.

 

[intothelight]

Hi E,

I have done the same thing, as I am afraid to open up and share some of the darker issues. One thing that I found helped, was keeping a journal or even using my diary here, as a means to remind myself to bring things up in a session.

Its tough, but they really cannot do their jobs unless we let them.

 

[Jawn]

I agree that keeping a log is a good idea. Would it be possible for you to email your "notes" to your T during the week, so they can read them before your next session?

Just a thought,

Jawn

 

[Elphaba]

Thanks both. The idea of e-mailing would be good, but with public health care I don't have a way to make direct contact to the T. All I have a is a "central number" that takes messages if I cancel, and that reschedules. I am a bit pissed of the system, to be honest, as it prevents me from basic things like speaking to T on the phone or by e-mailing the bits I found too hard to say.

In the session today, I couldn't even remember that I had been having panic attacked and used self harm several time to "ground" myself. I just remembered that the last week had been pretty rough. Had no concrete details.

I'll try to keep a log.

And I also asked my husband to remind me just before the next session that my condition has deteriorated and to give me few examples that I can bring with me. I feel I have the memory of a mosquito sometimes!

 

[seedling]

I have been keeping a very general, short diary of each day's symptoms. I find that if I put off writing it down until the next day I don't remember. I remember the day before as being "fine." Very strange.

I'm considering making a few notes to take to therapy with me too. My trouble is that I don't feel there is enough time to bring up all the most important things in one session, so mostly I let whatever comes up first be what we work on. Think I'm ready to take charge a little more though, we'll see....;)

 

[kers]

I keep a journal to help me keep track of things between sessions. I jot notes of whatever I can remember immediately following each session. The night before my next session, I review what happened in the last session and write down two or three things that are important for me to bring up the next day. I review these several times throughout the day so that when I go into session they are at the forefront of my mind. I have also jotted the notes on a scarp of paper and kept it in my hand--that way, I am not likely to forget to discuss them!

 

[Iam]

Seedling, the same happens to me. That or I chicken out.

Great idea Kers. It usually takes me a couple of days to process the session and if I have questions I write those down. I also write down things that happen throughout the week that I want to discuss at next session. Surprisingly we are able to go thru most of them pretty quickly. I read the list off and we prioritize so if we do run out or time we have at least addressed the most important ones. I don't bring a list with me every week, but it does help when there are specific things I want to discuss. It also helps me to muster up the courage to broach the topics I really don't want to talk about.

 

[tch75]

Hei E!
The journal thing is a good idea! I always keep one with me just to write down whatever comes up at any time! Tried to use the recording thingy on my mobile for a while, but I could not stand my own voice in that period, so I use the notebook.

Been dealing with the same public health care as you for many years and I know the frustration about not being able to get in touch whit your T when you need to, between sessions! I recently switched, or I'm doing both private and public, but I have to say, the private T, I have never had a T who actually and honestly care about me as he does, and he is actually prepared for each session with me, able to just pick up the track from last session and ask the right questions. Hurts in my wallet, but it's worth it! It wasn't my intention to start ranting about the public healtcare system where I am, but I know how it feels for you. When I first came to this forum, and peolpe were talking about getting in contact with their T between sessions and actually get a response!? Wow.

Take care

Tch75

 

[Iam]

Hi tch75

I recently switched, or I'm doing both private and public, but I have to say, the private T, I have never had a T who actually and honestly care about me as he does, and he is actually prepared for each session with me, able to just pick up the track from last session and ask the right questions.

I am glad that you have found a T who you feel cares and is prepared. I know that there is no way to contact Ts between session in the public health care system here either. I would not like that. Even in private care though there is a vast difference between Ts.

I have 2 Ts also. Both are private. My first one is not a trauma specialist and while I feel he cares, he is not prepared, frequently seems to have forgotten what we discussed the prior week and rarely asks about homework he's given me. He has told me that he is more intuitive and by the seat of his pants type of counselor. Preferring to let things take their own course. In fact I was running thru my mind this morning how I was going to bring this topic up and what I need from him.

My other T is a trauma specialist. I've only had 6 sessions with her but she is ALWAYS prepared, follows up with the assignments she gives me and is so intuitive in the questions she asks. I can tell that she has actually thought about our sessions in between them and what she needs to do to help me. Both will respond between sessions if I need them, though I don't do that very often, well never have with the trauma specialist yet. Being able to email thoughts between sessions has been most helpful at times when I just don't feel comfortable verbalizing whatever it is. Kind of bridges the way for discussing the issues next session.

Sorry for rambling. I guess the point I was trying to make is that even in private counseling every T is different and you are very lucky to have found a good one. Yeah....it is worth the money because you are worth it ;)

 

[Deleted member 5760]

I think it's always best to be honest with your T - after all, they can't help you with what they don't know.

I know my T does 'work' between sessions with me because she keep notes, remembers things from the last sessions, answers questions I've had from sessions before, etc. She's also very receptive to any suggestions I have and never judges what I say. I know it's hard to be honest in therapy when you feel you might get a funny look, or maybe be misunderstood or unheard or any number of things. I still think it is best to be as honest with your T as you can for your own good. How can they help you heal if they don't know the extent of what is happening.

 

[Iam]

So true Jen. It's funny, because I have been honest with what I am truly thinking and feeling, I now feel totally exposed and see how much help I actually do need. Being that vulnerable is so very hard, but it is the only way to work on the core issues.

 

[Ga5bby]

I have the same issue. These replies are very helpful to me. Things I don't really think about. Thanks everybody.