How Worried Should I Be?

[hodge]

Shadow, please call the crisis hotline! If it was me sticking my head in the oven, what would you say?

 

[stillstanding2]

but I think I'm okay.

Shadow, can you tell us you're alright now? You are taking an unwarranted risk by not getting local help. We are worried for the best of reasons. Please do get help.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

I'm here, I'm here. Still alive. Struggling, but still alive.

 

[hodge]

I'm so relieved, Shadow. I hope you find some help today.

 

[stillstanding2]

I'm so relieved, Shadow. I hope you find some help today.

Just checking on you Shadow. Have you found some help yet? Are you OK?

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

@stillstanding2 Thanks for checking in. I'm okay I think, as far as okay goes. Haven't gotten any help, but nothing too scary has happened either. Looking into partial hospital programs ..... part of me just wants to check myself into an emergency room. Fighting that urge.

I'm just so exhausted and I just don't know how long I can keep up with this. But, accessing benefits is really tough on my insurance and I'm so exhausted that navigating that seems impossible right now. I feel so stuck.

 

[stillstanding2]

part of me just wants to check myself into an emergency room. Fighting that urge.

I have fought that urge before, Shadow. But finally, checking in at emergency was the right thing to do. And more than once, since I was passed needing immediate help.

I understand your hesitancy, but if you are exhausted with trying to get into the partial hospital program and other kinds of help, You need to carefully measure your stamina, and not wait too long. If you don't have a friend to help you cut through the bureaucracies to your chosen treatment, I urge you to go to emergency.

I'll ask a favor. If you don't go to emergency, will you please find someone to be with you this weekend? You said you don't fall into danger while you are at work during the week. Last week's incident occurred at the weekend. Tomorrow is Friday, so you may be particularly vulnerable for a couple of days.

Please don't take any chances. And if you have to call 9-1-1, remember to stay on the line with them until help arrives. Another thing you can do for yourself and us is to let us know how you are as many times as you have time for. Let's keep talking and keep you safe.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

@stillstanding2 Thank you for being concerned. The weekends are tough, but there isn't really anyone that could stay with me. I'll just be okay. I have to be. My options are limited and I can't find any programs, and I can't afford to go inpatient and take time off from work, so I'm just going to have to make this work somehow ....

 

[stillstanding2]

@stillstanding2 Thank you for being concerned. The weekends are tough, b...

OK for now, but you know what to do if you can sense dissociation. And please know that we are VERY concerned.