DMtnBohemian
New Here
Hello ya'll. In perusing PTSD online resources, found this site. ...
I have been semi-recluse since 3/06, after extricating myself from insane household. It was like living a Stephen King-like nightmare.... I sought therapy immediately & was blessed w/a number of sessions free of charge - thank you God. It was then that 2 therapists concurred, I have PTSD due trauma endured in both relationships in which I let myself rebound into.
Part of me allows myself to be human, realizing the dynamics within which then lead me to knowingly rebound, not once, but twice - right into abuse.....
Another part of me refers to myself as "An Intelligent Idiot"! Lol....I have been clean & sober since 9/1/82 - have learned, evolved, and changed much over the yrs....Have gobs of mtgs., (12-step), bks., therapy etc., under my belt and yet? Allowed myself to enter into abusive, controlling relationships when my heart was broke & I was spent....I blatantly ignored all red flags....
In the present, I suffer major depression, complete lack of drive & energy as well as being isolated here in these beautiful mtns.. I was able to procure work recently & can muster up the energy required to do the menial job....Other than that, I live like recluse, any close friends are very far away w/only acquaintances here. I share my home w/my blessed canines whom I adore.....
With the exception of work, I can garnish no energy to do all the other things that need doing - in my house, outside the house, in life, in general....My house is a mess & I have never lived like this EVER. All I want to do is cry, sleep or watch a movie, read a book - i.e. escape......I feel tired all the time, anxious, get angry w/lightening speed, etc - classic PTSD symptoms which seem to be getting worse, not better....
I did stop smoking on "Lucky" Friday the 13th (4/13/12) and this I feel very happy & grateful about. I am on last leg of the nicotine patch program & I have an electronic smoke which helps. I do know however, that in quitting, I removed another feeling-stopper, hence my heightened depression......
Once the awesome benefits kick in via my job - I will then seek therapy bec. I desperately need do a "piece of work" re the time period where my long-term relationship ended in 2003, leading me to then rebound to the abuse I mentioned, culminating into PTSD.
I feel stuck & unable to move forward....And this is why I am here in this site w/open, yet skeptical mind. Thanks for being here...I think....LOL. Time will tell what I think/feel about this site.
I must go now and get ready for work - will prob. check in here daily as I check my email & instant messages every day.....
Hugs to all who suffer and hugs also to all who have a good heart & kind spirit. I look forward to hopefully meeting kindred spirits.
Thanks. :)
I have been semi-recluse since 3/06, after extricating myself from insane household. It was like living a Stephen King-like nightmare.... I sought therapy immediately & was blessed w/a number of sessions free of charge - thank you God. It was then that 2 therapists concurred, I have PTSD due trauma endured in both relationships in which I let myself rebound into.
Part of me allows myself to be human, realizing the dynamics within which then lead me to knowingly rebound, not once, but twice - right into abuse.....
Another part of me refers to myself as "An Intelligent Idiot"! Lol....I have been clean & sober since 9/1/82 - have learned, evolved, and changed much over the yrs....Have gobs of mtgs., (12-step), bks., therapy etc., under my belt and yet? Allowed myself to enter into abusive, controlling relationships when my heart was broke & I was spent....I blatantly ignored all red flags....
In the present, I suffer major depression, complete lack of drive & energy as well as being isolated here in these beautiful mtns.. I was able to procure work recently & can muster up the energy required to do the menial job....Other than that, I live like recluse, any close friends are very far away w/only acquaintances here. I share my home w/my blessed canines whom I adore.....
With the exception of work, I can garnish no energy to do all the other things that need doing - in my house, outside the house, in life, in general....My house is a mess & I have never lived like this EVER. All I want to do is cry, sleep or watch a movie, read a book - i.e. escape......I feel tired all the time, anxious, get angry w/lightening speed, etc - classic PTSD symptoms which seem to be getting worse, not better....
I did stop smoking on "Lucky" Friday the 13th (4/13/12) and this I feel very happy & grateful about. I am on last leg of the nicotine patch program & I have an electronic smoke which helps. I do know however, that in quitting, I removed another feeling-stopper, hence my heightened depression......
Once the awesome benefits kick in via my job - I will then seek therapy bec. I desperately need do a "piece of work" re the time period where my long-term relationship ended in 2003, leading me to then rebound to the abuse I mentioned, culminating into PTSD.
I feel stuck & unable to move forward....And this is why I am here in this site w/open, yet skeptical mind. Thanks for being here...I think....LOL. Time will tell what I think/feel about this site.
I must go now and get ready for work - will prob. check in here daily as I check my email & instant messages every day.....
Hugs to all who suffer and hugs also to all who have a good heart & kind spirit. I look forward to hopefully meeting kindred spirits.
Thanks. :)
