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How's Your Day Been? Each Day is Different, So Make Your Mark Daily

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Painful mentally and physically due to the death of yet another one of my brothers. Anger, rage, revengeful, hatred, disgust, and complete uncaring.
Was online here creating a thread when the phone rang and that's it.....end, of thread. A bit frustrating as it is one of many, many attempts to post here within the forum. This time it was a thread.............countless other times it was responses to others posts. Can't tell you how many incomplete attempts to respond to others and hope to offer some support. In fact, can't seem to find much time to read much or post anything here for that matter. Much simply never get posted.

I feel once again disappointed and somewhat frustrated today, but attitude is everything and I will do my best to accept, Yes, accidents happen and sometimes people lock themselves outside there cars and do need help. We've all done probably, at least once, huh. (lol)
I have energy because I slept so that is positive! :smile:

Confused - I am always in a state of confusion so that is okay, not a new experience. Perhaps, I will start a thread on it? Confused over how I feel. I always seem unable to come to a reasonable outcome concernig this. I feel something, but I can't rationalize it. Am I overreacting, is this about me, I am justified? What do I really think? I just want to live and experince life and this state of confusion hinders that!

I will mediatate on it!

Spirit x
I'm feeling good today. Content. Wow.....like I'm starting to finally get somewhere with this crap. Letting go maybe?
Honestly, my hands are trembling. Considering I have to work tonight, this could be a problem to any potential patient I come at with a needle! I am hoping it will subside. I have been dealing with what I can only call an exacerbation of symptoms for the last week- problems sleeping again, bad dreams, and mild anxiety, sometimes combined with mild sadness. It makes for quite a ride, let me tell ya. So far it has been very managable. Definitely noticable but not bothersome. I am hoping for the best. From what I have read here, it's to be expected. Knowing this, helps me deal with it a little better.

Overall, it's all good. Or, at least, as good as I make it.
Hope you do well at work tonight tude and the trembling subsides. Somehow, I have faith you'll do well. Do appreciate your balance and focus on the positive here, as well as, in other threads; It's always a gift shared and encouraging too. Sleeping difficulties seem to leave and then return again and leave again, throughout this process for me as well. Hang in tude and likely you'll be back to getting much improved sleep again, soon.

today has been a weird day for me. i feel like i've been walking around in a fog. kind of like one of those horror movies that you see where the main character is walking through "london fog" searching for someone or something. the good news is that i haven't had any serious issues today. have a great day everyone. respectfully, SM
:think: Physically tired.....but spiritually uplifted.....I spent 4 hours at my parents with some siblings..their spouses or girlfriends.....and a 10 month baby who's my older brother's stepdaughter's.....I'm not having flashbacks presently from being in the house where I was abused in....I went to a charismatic prayer meeting...4th Sunday evening in a row....which is why my spirit is uplifted!!! Got $60 from my father...told him 2 days ago that I didn't have enough to get through to the end of the month....People may ask how I can have anything to do with him.....Well....I'm surviving....This way I'm able to get some money out of him....though never enough for all the years I ended up in poverty due to his abuse of me for 17-18 years....LIVING THE PEACE
I'm ok. Feel like I'm coping, just know that this tranquility isn't going to last. Survived the easter break ok, sspent minimul time with family, just didn't think I could cope.

Been enjoying the few shifts I've been getting. While not a lot I can at least get through them without freaking out.
Difficulty sleeping today. It's most problematic between nightshifts- it causes me to have zero tolerance for co-workers. I've got to go to work now and hopefully save myself from my Self.
I slept in which I needed so that started the day off well. Then I got some things done which also felt good.

Right now I am vaguely amused. I can see the highway across a field out my office window and I see the southwest lanes all jammed up and constipated while the northeast traveling side is all free flowing.
Been awake when I should be sleeping! Staying asleep would be a nice change. It's becoming necessary to resume taking something.

Aside from being bored in the wee hours of the morning, I feel good. I am looking forward to getting to a meeting this evening.
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